Trust Drabbles - Take Two

[cornerofmadness]

Okay my muse can hush herself any time now. Here's a peck of Angelverse drabbles

Angel - AtS S1 Hiding from Trust

Doyle wanted him to get out into the world, told him that it was his mission. Cordelia insisted he was too much of a hottie to hide himself away. Neither of them got it. The world didn’t want him. He had exited the natural flow of life centuries ago. The curse had removed him even further. They didn’t understand it wasn’t that he didn’t care. That was just the armor he wore to hide the truth. He was afraid. Sunnydale had shown him what was inside him like some fun house mirror. He didn’t trust himself any more.

Angel - S 4 Doubts

Did his friend realize that he didn’t quite trust him any more? Angel knew Wes understood his trust had been breached but did Lorne know it too? When Lorne had left L.A., with just the cryptic warning about not trusting Connor Angel had thought it was simply due to his son’s upbringing. Months locked in a box had him wondering if it was more. Lorne was a seer after a fashion. Had he known what Connor would do? Why hadn’t he just come out and say it? Maybe Lorne hadn’t had more than a feeling? Angel couldn’t quite shake his doubts.

Connor - S4 Misplaced

He had trusted Father implicitly, had never thought to question him. Angel’s protestations of innocence in Father’s murder had haunted Connor since those seeds of doubt had first been planted. If that were true, then he had done a horrible thing. <I> No, innocent or not, he’s a demon and demons deserve their fate. </I>

But more than the stabs of guilt, Connor felt sick with betrayal. If Holtz had done what Angel said, then Connor had meant nothing to him. He wasn’t a son, merely a tool to be used without any concern about the toll he would pay.

Connor - S4 For Love

Connor didn’t understand why he trusted her so much. It was like she was under his skin, making him do things. Yes, he loved her but she made him do things he knew were wrong. He hadn’t wanted to kill Angel. He wanted Willow’s spell to work but Cordelia had shamed him into it. He had to be a good father, after all.

Still, it hadn’t escaped his notice that Cordelia didn’t touch him lovingly unless she wanted something. He was so desperate for contact, for love, that he pushed his doubts aside. He had to trust her, didn’t he?

Connor - Post NFA Still in a lie

He felt guilty. He should just tell them the truth and take the inner peace Angel’s spell had given him and run. The Reillys deserved better than him, the broken castoff that no one really wanted. Even Angel was guilty of that or else he would have done the happy spell, truly made him his son.

The Reillys made him feel welcome. How did he repay their love and trust? He lived his lie like a good little boy. Their wealth paid for a great college and easy life. He should be happy. So why did he feel so slimy?

 

Connor & Angel post NFA - Galway City - The Question

He looked out over Claddagh Quay. When he told his father he was going to Galway to learn about his roots, Angel came with him. The night was so dark the ink of the water bled itno the sky so he couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began. Sometimes he felt liket hat about him and Angel. "I know you didn’t trust me back then, Dad and you were right not to. But couldn’t you have found a way to show me Cordelia had gone evil? Everything would have been so different."

Angel wished he had. "I know."

Connor & Angel Post NFA Galway city - The Answer

Angel looked at the waters he had dared childhood friends to plunge into, thinking on his son’s question. He hadn’t trusted Connor not to tell Cordelia they thought she was possessed but why hadn’t he just told Connor that they were investigating the evil, let him see for himself Cordelia trying to murder Lorne? Then his boy wouldn’t have thought they were trying to kill Cordy because she was carrying his child. Mistrust had destroyed everything. "Maybe we shouldn’t dig up bones any more, son."

Connor nodded. "Show me where my grandparents are buried."

"You never ask for anything easy."

And since every one of my drabbles was about losing trust here's one that's not

Connor & Holtz - in Quor-Toth Trusting

The boy held his bow close to his side, looking at the pack of demons. His hands were slick with sweat. His dagger felt like it weighed more than he did, dragging at his belt. He wasn’t ready for this. He was too little. There were too many of them.

"I can’t do this, Father," he whispered.

Steven trembled as Holtz’s hand gently closed over his shoulder.

"Of course you can, my talented boy. Trust me," Holtz said. "You’re ready."

Steven looked up at his father. "I trust you always, Father."

Steven drew back the bowstring putting trust to the test.

As always x-posted to open_on_sunday