a rec and a rant

[cornerofmadness]

druinsanity just finished up some holiday ficcage for me a dark little Dru and Connor piece. Go read. It's creepy fun Codlins

As for the rant, well i knew I would be going on bieta as of today since after the initial drop in my sugar the only thing actos was doing for me was making me gain nearly 20 pounds I absolutely didn't need to gain (which he warned me it would). Bieta is supposed to a) control my sugar b) make me lose weight. Well now I see how. It mimicks an intestinal hormone that triggers the pancreas to make insulin and tells the hypothalamus that you're satiated. Well, I don't overeat. I barely can make myself eat enough to be healthy in a day and you're putting me on a drug that will make me eat less...okay, we'll see in a month how this goes. In fact even trying to eat more than a little will make me violently ill on this pill. Well that's special.

But what really bothers me about it, beyond it being injectible, is that it's just like insulin. It MUST be kept cold. That means if I travel I have to take a cooler. So...on a cross country trip what? I have to stop every 100 miles for more ice? What about unexpected delays at an air port? Every hotel has to have a fridge in it. This is a very big ball and chain I'm now carrying but it's this or face what high sugars will do to me.

So I tell mother who asks how it went then mentions that my aunt is going to NC tomorrow with her insulin and I asked how does she transport it. Mom said in her suitcase and I said well, that'll make it useless and I explain how insulin and bieta need to be cared for. Mom starts screaming at me like it's somehow my fault about all of this and how she's not our babysitter (who asked you to be I'm wondering, though I think MUCH of this is a backlash against Dad and Grandma who can't wipe their own noses without her help) and how I should just stay on the pill. I explain yet again how the pills aren't working and my choices were bieta or insulin.

I mention how this pill might make me lose weight and I explain the mechanism of action (points up) and again she starts yelling at me for eating too much! WTF. I said mom you aren't even listening to me, that or you're translating it into gibberish. At which point she gets really mad.

I know Dad and Grandma and my aunt (cousins too) dumped all their problems on mom. But she did ask what happened. It's like don't yell at me for answering your question or because I'm more than a little freaked and depressed about this. This is my life falling apart and I'm not asking anyone to fix it. They can't but i do ask you don't bite off my head when I answer your questions.

Comments

[nowhere-ed.livejournal.com]

Yeesh. That sucks all over the place. Sorry to hear about it.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks and yes it does

[rain-oubliette.livejournal.com]

Are we related? Your mother's reactions sounds oh so familiar to me. My relatives think that I'm the one that is in charge of Life and that they have to get me involved in every little BS that comes a long in their lives. However, when I can't fix something (I'm 450+ miles away) they blame me. Feh. And they wonder why I moved.

I hope that this med will at least HELP! My friend Amy has finally gotten her diabetes under control (on insulin) after being very ill for a few years. She is just now getting close to 30. (She has other problems, too). (Don't we all?)

Meows and purrs dearie

[rahirah]

Sounds like she's scared and therefore being irrational. :(

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

and they wonder why i don't want to move closer...then again I just might that way i can visit and leave in one day...

thanks. I used to be a wound care doctor. I cut off so many diabetic limbs...i KNOW what will happen to me if I don't fix this

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

I think that's part of it too. She knows that she could easily bury me if I don't get a handle on this illness

[rain-oubliette.livejournal.com]

Move over here (you mentioned Gettysburg once). Get within an hour or two, that way you can get outta Dodge when the going gets weird. :-)

I don't have diabetes yet but I'm a big girl - which, yes, I am trying to rectify - and the disease did run in my family. Along with cancer and heart disease. Whee. My family physician literally told me she didn't want to be in my family as we reviewed illnesses and what I could inherit. Jeez.

I have to go to bed before I pass out or start typing jibberish. Of course, I may already be typing jibberish but this looks fine to me. Eh. Sleep now. Cat snoring.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't mind moving over there at all. That within an hour is the plan. Right now I'm just a little too far and then have to stay..

yeah that would suck. My family history isn't so bad. Some cancer and diabetes. The worst is the alcoholism. Being big is what did it to me. When I was a slim jim I didn't have this problem but then came polycystic ovarian disease and it brought along 100 pounds. thanks so much ovaries

[ninerva.livejournal.com]

The new drug sounds like a total pain. Though I don't know about Bieta (never heard of that one) I do know that insulin is fine to be kept out of a fridge, but is only effective for a month if kept out of the fridge, as opposed to three months if kept refridgerated. So if you are on a big dose and are likely to finish the vial inside a month it shouldn't be a problem. It would be interesting to know if the same applies in your case.

[sita-137.livejournal.com]

That's remarkably insensitive of her, even though I understand where she's coming from.

Maybe you should take up drinking those shakes in a can, for people who can't eat balanced meals? I don't know how else to help...

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

actually I do drink them sometimes. I suggested drinking them all the time and my endrocrinologist gave me the fish eye (though I suspect that's because he sees me and doesn't believe I don't eat that much)

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

the nurse who told me said no more than 'five minutes' which sounds awfully severe to me. When travel time rolls around I'll talk to the pharmacy. Bieta is very new

[sita-137.livejournal.com]

If this keeps up, he'll believe you in a month...

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

i hope. I just hope to be able to breath soon so i can begin exercising

[sita-137.livejournal.com]

Breathing is good. [nod nod]

[ninerva.livejournal.com]

Five minutes sounds highly unlikely and completely impractical unless you happen to live in Antarctica. But just like with insulin, the manufactorors advice is about legal accountability (like the best before five minutes from now labels on food), the reality is often quite different. I would definitely check it out before you strap a fridge to your back. ;-)

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

yeah that was my thought. I'm sure it'll be fine. My big worry is I was hoping to go overseas this summer which means a LONG flight and i'm thinking hmm will my thermo lunch bag with ice cut it?

[ninerva.livejournal.com]

I just had a look to see if they sold these in the US, and they've just been approved.

http://www.coolerconcept.com/

Certainly an option.

(Can't tell what I do for a living can you ;-)

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

yay! THANK YOU. See, you're already more helpful than the nurse instructing me. I was also worried (well not so much worried as wondering) about when I go out all day like a shopping trip, what I was going to do with this dumb drug. Now I know

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

It sounds like this medicine could be difficult to deal with, but I hope the medicine works. Diabetes is a scary illnes as you obviously know.

I wish your mother was more sympathetic. I fully understand why you don't live close by.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

if it works i'll be willing to put up with alot

honestly if i lived closer, there'd be less trouble. i'd function as a lightning rod to take half the stress of my mom. Sad as it is to say if Grandma wasn't here, it wouldn't be this bad. She needs to move into a senior residence (she's 91), not that she needs nursing but a house is too big for her to care for and she really can't drive any mor ewhich means mom has to do EVERYTHING for her

[ninerva.livejournal.com]

You're welcome.

One other thing about the nurses advice that worries me, I know with insulin it's better if you don't inject it cold, first it hurts, second it doesn't absorb as well. But then I only know about insulin, might be worth checking out the manufactorers site on that though, particularly if you do find it painful at all.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

yeah i already thought about that. I've injected enough people to know to let the stuff warm first. I had every intention of letting it sit out just a little.

[ex-chaos-by-699.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you have such major health problems. *sympathy* Your mom sounds like she was being pretty nuts but it's probably irrationality brought on by stress and worry and stuff.

:(

*comfort*

I hope you get to keep all your limbs. Limbs are very useful things, as you well know.

[rain-oubliette.livejournal.com]

U.S. contest seeks to be "American Idol' of books:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070111/wr_nm/books_competition_dc

I thought of you when I saw this but didn't have an email address to send to you... so I posted it here.

meow!

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thank you. i have to look into this

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks