Lordy Lordy, Look Who's Forty

[cornerofmadness]

Happy birthday to me! Oddly enough last night the emotions were pinging all over the place and in my last post I mentioned to trixiefatcat why I was so disappointed with not so much turning forty but in life in general, with no holding back of the vitriol. Then after ishte posted something to me, I was thinking, honestly my 30's sucked so why not be glad to see them in the rearview mirror. I need to start living again.

Seriously, my 30's were some strange zombie state. My 20's were spent earning my medical degree and working hard to start my practice. My 30's brought devestating injuries, financial ruin and finally a lifelong illness. The only highlights were getting to spend so much time with evil_little_dog, silvrethorn and sand_and_shadow and getting a job that I actually DONT hate in spite of my complaining about it. I worked myself to death. I didn't take vacations (well I am a workaholic)

So now, I've decided to change all that. I'm going on vacation. I'm looking for a new job (an application is in back here in PA). I'll find a way to exercise if it kills me. I'm going to work harder on publishing my stories (something I quit almost entirely) Maybe i'll even start dating again (another thing I mostly gave up) I want to look like my pictures from my 20's again. Oh maybe I'll never be that thin again and I'll never be that young but I want to be HAPPY. You can look at the photos from my 30's and just see i'm not happy. Dad even said that last night, 'relax you look stiff as a mannequin' when he was taking those pictures. (well i've never taken good ones)

I don't know how I'm going to affect all these changes but I will. Of course I'm off to a bad start. I sliced open my foot and I'm eating cookies i found in the freezer from Christmas for breakfast. Heck I don't even know where my family is. I woke up and I was alone.

But that's okay. TOnight I'll be in Vegas and I'm going to smile.

Comments

[anat-astarte.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday!!!! Best Wishes for a happy and exciting future and I hope the rest of your day is great!!!

I was just thinking about my own life and I have similiar goals. How can we do it? One day at a time :)

Good Luck on publishing and getting a new job! And in Vegas!!!!!

Have fun!

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks on all accounts. I don't know how I'll do it but i'm gonna try

[anat-astarte.livejournal.com]

You're welcome :) I'm trying to figure that out for myself too. Just lemme know if you ever want to swap ideas on it or trade cheers of encouragement :)

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks

[mulzrule.livejournal.com]

I hope you have a happy birthday inspite of the stress. But hey, Vegas sounds cool. My dad just got back from there the other day. He couldn't resist the Beetle's gift shop. *rolls eyes*

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks. Hee to the gift shop

[mjules.livejournal.com]

Yay for resolutions!!

And if you want something funny to laugh at?

http://www.soulforce.org/forums/showthread.php?t=2598

Seriously. I can't breathe. But maybe that's just my sense of humor.

Have a good vacation! *smooch!*

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

i'll look when i get back THANKS

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks and yes this was funny

[stephanierb.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday, and have an awesome time in Vegas!

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks and happy belated birthday to you too

[trixiefatcat.livejournal.com]

Well, you gotta start somewhere, why not here?

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

THANKS

[trixiefatcat.livejournal.com]

No problem. I came to a lot of those same conclusions about four years ago and have been slowly digging myself out from under.
Anyway, sorry if I seem to be ignoring you and ELD - things have been moving in all directions at once.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

don't worry about it. you have husband and kid to pile on top of the job. we understand.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

that was my thought

[chaos-by-design.livejournal.com]

Good luck getting your life back on track. *hugs*

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks

[vampedvixen.livejournal.com]

Good luck with the life changing!! I'm trying to get back on the horse myself.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks and good luck toyou too

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday, dear!

A lot of people on my flist are making life style changes. Just take it one day at a time, you can do it. There's no reason not to go for what you want.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thank you very much and thanks for the good advice

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

I second what Mom says. *grins* Have a great time in Vegas. Get pictures at Quarks.

Be happy.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

I'll try to do all that. Thanks

[esmerelda-t.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday! Here's to your forties! Its the new twenties anyway.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks

[marenfic.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday! I hope your Vegas trip is the start of a wonderful decade of your life.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thank you very much

[dsgood.livejournal.com]

Go for it!

Good luck.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thank you!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_omega_man/]

Happy Snappy on the big 4-O!

But I still have 2+ years on ya girlie;)

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks! and guess I'll always be younger than you

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thank you

[kashicat.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday! And though I don't really know you, already from what I've read, I am certain you are going to accomplish a lot and really be glad, as you go through the 40s.

I know in my case, the 40s were the absolute best years. You've already paid a lot of dues, done a lot of learning, and the 40s become the time when it all comes together and everything links up.

I'm working at getting the writing thing going too, these days. If you ever want to share ideas, I'd be happy to.

But meanwhile -- have a very, very good birthday. I really think you will enjoy the 40s.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks. I appreciate the thoughts adn i'll keep that in mind for the writing stuff!

[nebroadwe.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday! Belated present here (http://nebroadwe.livejournal.com/34426.html), the which I hope you enjoy.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU SO MUCH