writerly news

[cornerofmadness]

well the agent didn't take Machiavell Moon. However, he DID give me a lot of useful advice. One was the ending was too statacco and rushed (which a few of you pointed out but I guess I still haven't completely addressed the problem).

the other problem was he didn't understand why a player like Sulien didn't have a blackberry, lap top etc. Well i wrote this in 1994-95. Those things weren't common. Hell cell phones didn't work in South Dakota back then. So, i have two choices, purposely date this 1995 OR go through the whole novel and update it. I think i'll do the latter (and pray that i don't jinx a tension point or something doing that) I know i just did that in one of the early chapters instead of having Caksi run for the phone I gave him a cell.

Outside of a few clunky sentences, the other problem he had were my use of brand names...something I don't remember using but I'll be sure to go look for them (they date the novel which was his concern)

So..he didn't take it BUT to me this is still good news because the problems he had are NOT that hard to fix. I can catch all of them in one revision. He called it a good read and wants to see something else so go me.

What I really need is another good beta for it. I know some of you volunteered. Let me update the first four chapters then I'll open it up to offers of readers again (since i've forgotten who wanted to) When I do that, I'll screen the comments so you can give me an email for it.

Comments

[chaos-by-design.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, I wanna read it.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

cool, yes I remember you were one of the volunteers. I'll let you know when it's ready

[chaos-by-design.livejournal.com]

okay, cool.

[jennawaterford.livejournal.com]

Good for you! I still haven't heard back, but I'm heartened to hear that (a) he's still working his way through things, and (b) you got so much out of his feedback. It sounds like really good, helpful stuff which is what we all want to get (aside from, "This is so perfect; I must represent you!" obviously).

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

he forgot mine in the crowd so you might want to give him a gentle nudge.

Yeah, I mean if he would have said yet I would have backflipped but really this is very helpful. My writers group said some of it and i thought i fixed it but apparently not enough. But knowing it's good and its fixable is very much the stuff happy is made from

[jennawaterford.livejournal.com]

I don't think mine is lost -- I heard from him earlier this week with a few questions -- so I'll wait a few more days before I ask. But good to know, thanks!

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

ah well that's a good thing. good luck

[dknightshade.livejournal.com]

That is excellent feedback because like you said, none of it is hard to fix. I'm really impressed that you sent your work in to an agent like that.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

oh i've been sending it off for years. At least HE told me what was wrong with it. One other agent liked it a lot but he had gotten out of urban fantasy in lieu of mysteries

[mulzrule.livejournal.com]

That's great! If the only major problem he had was with your technology dating your work, you're in the bag.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

there was that ending problem which will be harder to fix than the technology thing but it IS fixable

[ba4ever.livejournal.com]

That's awesome news! Yay!

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks

[lyricnonsense.livejournal.com]

Ooo, congrats on the great feedback and mostly easy fixes! I want to read it when it gets on the shelves!

:)

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks. i sure hope you can

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thanks