cornerofmadness | Fic

Perdition
Author –

cornerofmadness
Disclaimer - not mine, all characters belong to Hiromu Arakawa et al, Square Enix and funimition. I don’t make a profit
Pairing – none, implied Roy/Riza
Rating – PG-13
Time Line – manga based, spoilers for vol 15 of the manga, um the Ishbal arc forget the chapters now, the 50's?
Summary – Riza has to come to terms with what she's done in war.
Author’s Note – this was written for the

picfor1000 community which is a lovely challenge where the mod gives you a picture and you have to do exactly 1000 words on it, no more, no less. My picture was of glassware Thanks to

evil_little_dog for the beta. I actually had another story in mind for this (and will probably still write it) but for the second year in a row I got it right on the first try. I was only one word over so that was an easy fix.
ETA - way to have the wrong summary and time line on this. head desk

The sheer quiet of the lab seemed unearthly. Riza sat on a stool, staring at the dusty glassware, all the beakers and flasks that, in the past, had always had something bubbling away in them. To see them empty, cloaked in fuzzy grayness, felt so wrong.

Wrong was the word for her whole world. Her father had been gone for two years now. Riza should have sold all of this but instead her grandfather helped her pay a small stipend to have someone look after the old house. Dusting must not be high on the list of things to do.

A voice echoed in her head saying she had kept all of this for him but she couldn’t say why he would need it. He was a State Alchemist now. What need had Mustang of her father’s old glassware, of his books, of anything this decaying house held? Riza pushed off the stool with its cracked leather seat just a little too fast. Pain crackled across her back, as hot as the touch of the flames that had danced over her flesh. The scabs had fallen away, leaving the ugly scars marring her father’s greatest work.

Why had she done it? Deep down, Riza knew if someone without Roy’s integrity had captured her, the words and symbols inked into her pale flesh could unleash a very great evil on the world. Still, maybe it would have been smarter to just tattoo over the key areas and spare herself the agony of being face down in a military hospital in Ishbal, then on the evac train, her back seared. Riza knew why she had forced Roy to do this: atonement for making him into a monster, no matter how much he had wanted the knowledge her flesh had harbored.

With slow, aching steps, Riza went into her father’s vast library. Leaning against a dusty shelf, she waged battle with her tears. Now wasn’t the time to be soft, but if not now, when? The sounds of Roy’s sobs when he burnt her still echoed dully in her heart. She punished him as much as she had punished herself. He begged, pleaded and finally grew furious with her for making him do it. Nothing dissuaded her but again, that was the story of her life. Riza knew she was headstrong to a fault.

Ignoring her pain, she sank down onto the floor, pressing the tender, new, scarred skin of her back against her father’s precious books. Some days, growing up she thought he loved these books more than her. Sometimes Riza had wondered if Roy had as well but still she followed him. Riza had traded the future her father had imagined for her for a gun and a wool uniform. And for what? She wished she knew. Roy had shown no joy in seeing her in the desert but, by the time she found him, Riza had already killed so many. She could understand why he hadn’t been happy to see her. She had made things worse by asking an inane question of him, as if he would ever forget the woman who helped turn him into a monster.

Riza studied her hands, almost surprised they looked so pristine and white. Maybe because the blood never actually touched them. She dealt death at a distance. She never had to look them in the eye while she stole their lives. Riza wondered, not for the first time, had she dug a gulf between her and Roy so wide and deep that there was no bridging it? He blamed himself for all the men who met their death with her bullets in them. If not for his words, his ideals, Roy thought Riza would never have entered the military.

Roy was partially right, she had to admit. But it wasn’t his words; it was her love for him. She had only wanted to protect him. Riza had thought she understood what that would entail. She thought she could handle what the military had thrown at her and she had. Riza hadn’t been kept up too many nights over the things she had to do. Maybe it was a selfish love that turned her into a professional killer or maybe she was right, and Roy was meant for great things. He needed protecting, his head so high in the clouds some days, she wanted to tie all her father’s glassware to his neck just to anchor him.

One dead child left to rot like a dog was all it had taken to break her resolve. Riza shuddered, her back protesting the movement. One hand dug grave, one promise to kill the man she loved should he go mad with power, one snap of his fingers laying waste to her flesh. Riza knew she would get over her guilt and grief over Ishbal but only during the day. It would always be there waiting for her in her dreams.

Sighing, Riza dragged herself back up and left the house. She would have to place her call from the inn. Riza needed Roy to help her close this part of her life. She had kept her father’s things for him. Now was the time to see if he wanted them, if he truly wanted her. Riza really didn’t have any doubts that he did. It was a matter of him getting over the guilt of hurting her.

Before she left, Riza studied her old homestead. She could swear she heard her and Roy’s guiltless laughter, the ghosts of their younger years hiding in the grass, playing in the trees. When was the last time she had heard Roy laugh? When had she? Did he cry in the night like her? Innocence had been traded for blood and horror, pain and flames. Riza didn’t know where they would go from here. She only knew she would travel the broken road at Roy’s side. Together they had been wounded. Maybe together they would be made whole.

Current Mood: sad
Current Music: Lacrymosa - Evanescence

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

annepackrat.livejournal.com

Nice portrait of Riza! Your summary on the ot4 comm says something about Winry and the Elric brothers though?

From:

Fic - Perdition

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