As Trixiecat says, my obituary will be interesting

[cornerofmadness]

I got the rest of the garden in, contemplated and dismissed doing dishes and headed instead into a nice cool tub to read aftering opening all the windows since the rain really cooled things down to a normal temperature.

I'm not in the tub two minutes when I hear a knock. Oh crap. More knocking. Damn, it has to be Landlord with my toilet seat. It's 8:30 in the evening but it's still light out so it's fair game I guess. I really need that toilet seat replaced before I kill myself on the completely sheered off one so I slither out of the tub, knock off most of the bubbles and pull on my clothes.

Only to realize panties and shorts are on backwards. Ah, who can tell. I run for the door and catch my pocket of backwards shorts on the jamb. RIIIIIIIP. Oh shit. There go my favorite black shorts. Holding them together I fling open the door and there's Landlord with toilet seat and Coco the barky chihuahua whom I loathe (it's a chihuahua).

He goes in to try and fix it. I'm standing there with my underpants showing through the new ventilated backside of my shorts. He looks at the toilet and says, 'huh thought it was bone.'

No, white. I look at the toilet seat and say, that's the same size I bought. It's too big.

'Toilet seats are standard.' LL replies

Yeah that's what I thought too (keeping my you bought the cheapest damn toilet in the world with its non-standard toilet seat for munchins) but i measured it and it's nearly 2 inches too big for this toilet.

He looks at me as if I'm crazy then says I'll try it. He looks at the toilet then back at me 'tomorrow, i forgot my tools.'

Um you came here with the toilet seat but NOT your tools? You ARE a tool. What do you need I ask since i am well supplied in tools. Noticing that Coco has been beaten up by Roy and is now cowering in the bathroom, i get the screw drivers.

LL gets the toilet seat off, RIPS the box on the new one to shreds instead of waiting for me to cut the tape only to find out the toilet seat is TOO BIG. Well no duh, I can measure, kinda important in surgery and all but what do I know? He says he'll go back to Jerry's Do It centre and get another one tomorrow and leaves. Meanwhile the broken toilet seat is just lying on the floor.

I slam that back in place and toss myself on the bed thinking this is why I'm NOT zen.

Comments

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Only you.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

it's so unfair

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

But we NEED an Iktomi to laugh at...

[chaos-by-design.livejournal.com]

You're about as zen as Sanzo. ;)

But your landlord does sound like a tool.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

he really is.

i want new shorts

[chaos-by-design.livejournal.com]

you should get him to buy you some.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

at this point if he puts the toilet back together I'll be happy. I've given up on him finishing the bathroom or the porch

[chaos-by-design.livejournal.com]

Oh well, you can always leave the seat outside his door as a 'subtle' hint. >:)

[dragonydreams.livejournal.com]

If he was going to get you out of your bath, the least he could have done was bring the right toilet seat and his tools.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

or at least the tools since who knew the toilet was a freakish size

[mulzrule.livejournal.com]

That landlord is a piece of work. What is he thinking? Poor Com can't go potty now.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

well i sort of fixed it...

[makd.livejournal.com]

1. Toilet seats come in different sizes? Whoa. I learn something new every day on LJ.

2. He brought the seat, he forgot the tools? What an asshat!

3. He ruined your bath!!

4. D, head back for the tub and double-lock that door! :-)

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

yeah apparently toilets ARE standard unless your asshat landlord cheaps out and gets some weirdo toilet

I still can't believe he didn't bring TOOLS

[0-mother-0.livejournal.com]

HAHA the landlord's a tool - LOVE it

Glad you got the garden in!

And, sorry about the shorts - I do that kind of stuff all the time

P.S. Poor Teddy! I had to cover his eyes for part of that :(

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

I just need to finish the on the porch plants and WEEDING (it's supposed to cool down so i'll do it then)

yes I know. you like chihuahuas

[ishte.livejournal.com]

On that Zen thing, actually I'm kind of wondering why you did not begin again with your bath and reclaim your Zen. Yes.

Landlord = Stupid

I'm pretty sure that's a fact of life, so no point in letting it foul your mood, ne? I would definitely have asked him to please CALL first before just showing up, and made it obvious that he got you out of the tub. (i.e. I would have appeared in my bathrobe with the bubbles still in the tub.)

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

mostly because i didnt trust him NOT to come back with the filter for the heat pump like he promised to do.

the bubbles were in the tub

calling ahead, yeah I've never had a landlord do that even when it's been stated in the lease that they have too (thinking of the middleton apt who would let themselves in but at least put out a warning sign on the door that they were there

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

what an idiot.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

he didn't come today either

[silvrethorn.livejournal.com]

Toilets come in round or oval, so toilet seats come in round or oval. Beyond that, the sizes are standard. If Landlord found a toilet that's neither standard round nor standard oval, then he must have gotten the toilets from either Uttar Pradesh or the space station. As for turning up without tools, he should be forced to wear the toilet seat around his neck for that one.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

well we both bought the appropriate oval but its two big so Uttar Pradesh it is.

he hasn't come back to fix it so toilet seat around the neck for him