cornerofmadness

Oddly it didn't even occur to me until late this afternoon that this was my last day to be 40. I wasn't very much bothered by the fact that I'll be 'in my forties' not like I was last year. Turning 40 bothered me a lot, bothered me more when my birthday was so summarily forgotten by everyone, including my mother. It was a blow especially after all the talking I did about it and you know that BIG trip to Vegas.

This year is different. My birthday will be quiet. If I wasn't driving back to Pittsburgh next week I might have driven up to Columbus. Heck I might even be doing the laundry tomorrow, I don't know. Maybe I'll go see the Indy movie. I bought king crab legs and tiramisu for my birthday.

I'm going nowhere this year, not that I often do. I rarely have the moneyor time for a vacation. YEs, I'm off for weeks and I guess that's vacation enough but mostly I'm just doing the same dumb things as I do every day.

I'll leave off cleaning the house tomorrow. I made lots of head way today. That can be my birthday gift to myself. Maybe I'll join that travel group as my birthday gift. Maybe I'll pull out the pictures from my photo albums and scan them in and look at myself over the last few years(or at least the 21st century)

Maybe quiet acceptance is what being in your 40's is all about. That and finding your own paths to joy. Like today, I quit doing everything for two hours and just went outside and sat with my house plants and wind chimes. It was such a beautiful day, windy, occasionally rainy and delightfully cool. I only have two horrid nearly un-sit-uponable plastic chairs that even Roy avoids so like a true redneck, I dragged out my task chair and an ottoman and just sat there and read, feeling the breeze on my face, listening to the Fullmetal Alchemist soundtrack and the wind chimes. It was nice. Roy sat out there too. He was thinking what I was, need more wind chimes.

Just because I'm old, doesn't mean I can't annoy the neighbors.