Fic- A Night at the Museum (BtVS)
Jul. 7th, 2008 09:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cornerofmadnessA Night at the Museum
Author – D. M. Evans
Disclaimer – nothing’s changed over the years, still not mine. All rights belong to Mr. Whedon et al.
Pairing – None, gen fic (with implied Buffy/Angel)
Time line – post series
Rating – FRT
Summary – The Scoobies and Fang Gang have taken to working together when Giles learns of a disturbance at a very unique museum.
Authors Note 1 – This was written for the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
summer_of_giles. Thanks to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
evil_little_dog for the beta and being very excited about the setting. I have literally been wanting to use this setting for years. I had no idea Neil Gaiman had used it until I started doing the research
Author’s Note 2 - There are hyperlinks to photos of things in the museum (which is a must see if you’re in the Madison WI area). However, if you don’t like clicking on photo links there’s absolutely no reason you have to, to enjoy this. Most of these photos are mine, i really miss living in Madison
Author’s Note 3 – This is set inside a series of mine. There’s no need to read those to enjoy this since that wouldn’t be fair. You can get all the background from the first page of this story. But if you want to read the first story (I can’t find the second….) it’s Tearing Away the veil (this is an FFN link, the story predates me moving to LJ)
XXX
Chapter One
Giles wondered how he had become the appointed babysitter. So many times in Sunnydale, he had felt like a glorified nanny instead of a Watcher but now here in Madison, he was watching a seven month old stack soft multicolored pillowy rings on a padded spike with obvious glee. Giles had never really thought about having children. He hadn’t wanted to do the whole ‘duty to his lineage and the Watchers’ thing when he was younger then he blinked and suddenly he was in his fifties. In spite of diapers scarier than any demon, Giles actually liked his added duty. Stephan gazed up at him with dark, Greek eyes as if to say, ‘did I do good?’ Giles pointed to the last ring. Stephan grabbed it with his chubby fingers and placed it on the top of the tower, giggling wildly as he clapped. “Very good.” Giles grinned, wondering how a Watcher like himself ended up watching the grandson of two vampires.
Sometimes his place in Watcher history went to his head, just a little. He helped to rebuild the Watchers’ Council, making it less hidebound not to mention being Watcher to one of the longest-lived and undoubtedly best Slayers even. He topped that off with Faith and the other Slayers, some powerful mages and a laundry list of other sundries. His father would have been proud. Their temporary duty assignment in Wisconsin had led to Giles getting to indulge his love of writing. What a story it was; Angel and Darla’s very bizarre history, the birth of their son, Connor’s own tragic history, culminating with Eve bringing Darla back from the dead again and killing Connor’s wife, cutting little Stephan from her body. Once he started documenting everything that had happened since he came to the States, Giles realized just how exciting, terrifying and important their lives had been.
Of course, at the moment, life was a little less exciting and a lot calmer, not that Giles was complaining. Having made Madison their temporary home base because Angel wanted to be close to his new grandson, the whole team had settled in for a few months, maybe more. Faith, Spike and Illyria were in Milwaukee, supposedly after a demon. Giles figured they were actually at Summerfest, lucky plonkers. Willow and Xander were in Barcelona documenting a cache of freshly uncovered mystical items. Buffy and Angel were somewhere patrolling the town. Connor was at the fire house on duty leaving Giles alone with the baby and Giles wasn’t exactly what Darla had planned but she wasn’t around to baby-sit. He almost wanted something exciting to happen.
As if something had heard him, Dawn came home. Grinning, she scooped Stephan up. “Oh good, he’s still awake.”
“I was just about to go put him down for the night,” Giles replied.
“I’ll do it.” Dawn headed for the stairs. “And then I’ll tell you about a new job for us.”
Giles smiled at that. He couldn’t wait. He very much liked the idea of having something to do and wondered what that said about him. He poured himself a Scotch while he waited for Dawn to get Stephan to sleep.
Dawn came back and flopped on the couch. “Ever hear of the House on the Rock?”
Giles’ brow furrowed. “Wasn’t that in that Gaiman book Xander wouldn’t stop going on about?”
“Yeah. It’s not all that far from Madison,” Dawn replied. “Apparently a house built by an eccentric that’s now a very big museum.” She paused for effect. “They’ve been having disturbances.”
“What kind?” Giles’ curiosity had been captured by the word ‘museum.’
“Exhibits being rearranged, minor stuff with one major exception. There have been a lot of little animals left gutted outside on the grounds, squirrels birds, the sort of thing that a cat would do until today.” Dawn shuddered. “When they found a dog.”
“That would have be one big cat,” Giles quipped. “So, they want us to come check it out. Are they sure it’s not a coyote?”
“Wouldn’t a coyote eat more than just the guts?” Dawn asked.
“I suppose so.”
“And it’s been happening most nights for weeks so that rules out Werewolves,” Dawn added.
“Interesting,” Giles said, not entirely sure that it was but it was a diversion at any rate. “When do they want us there?”
“Tomorrow at close. I’m not sure we need to get Buffy involved just yet,” Dawn said.
Giles considered that for a moment. “Probably not. You and I can do the research end of it first, maybe get Darla involved.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Yes, it did at that, Giles decided happily.
X X X
Giles wondered if Madison was too boring for Buffy since he and Dawn didn’t escape to the House on the Rock alone. Being evening, Angel could come as well. Giles had a belated thought that perhaps they should have left Darla behind. While Buffy accepted that the woman was alive and well and that Angel had no interest in Darla, it was best the two petite blondes didn’t mix much.
“This is just odd,” Buffy said, looking around the grounds in front of the museum. Huge ‘bronze’ planters adorned a low wall, each covered with lizards, a few winged, and plants growing out of the shells protruding from the pots. The pots made Giles feel rather small and he had to wonder if a crane had been needed to place them. Merlin oversaw everything from his corner.
“From what I could gather on the net, which there wasn’t all that much, this is something P.T. Barnum would have loved. A lot of the exhibits are real but others are a bit of humbug.” Dawn grinned.
“Two miles of exhibits,” Giles added excitedly. He was intrigued and more than a little excited about a museum that was not only that large but much of it tunneling into rock. At least with Angel and Dawn, he did have companions who might actually find a museum something other than dull.
“That leaves a lot of area to cover,” Buffy remarked, visibly not thrilled with that possibility. “At least museums are pretty big and roomy. You can see the monster coming for you.”
Ten minutes later they learned just how wrong Buffy was. Diane, one of the managers who met them grinned as she led them into the house portion of the museum. “Impressive, isn’t it?”
“This is amazing,” Giles said, looking around at the room. Beige stone bricks held together with thick sloppy gray mortar, every cranny crammed with something, much of it, Asian inspired along with Tiffanyesque glass and statues and stained glass better suited for churches.
“The ceiling is rather low in here.” Angel eyed it uneasily. Giles had to agree.
“ It’s really dark ,” Darla muttered, glancing at the fireplace crammed with cauldrons.
Buffy stared at the saggy-pillowed bench-like couch. “Fred Flintstone lived here,” she remarked and Diane’s widely painted smile faltered a bit.
“Mr. Jordan was eccentric,” Diane offered diplomatically beckoning them to follow. “Blair is waiting for us in the Infinity room.” She led the way.
“Why do you think that there is supernatural involvement?” Giles asked.
Diane’s look was more pitying than one of belief. “I don’t. Blair does and since he’s the boss…” She shrugged. “I think it’s more likely a pack of wild dogs. People just abandoned their pets willy-nilly any more. This way.” She picked up the pace. “Blair!”
An older man with a graying ponytail waved at them. “Sorry I couldn’t meet you. I had something to tie up. I’m Blair Anders, pleased to meet you all.” He shook hands with everyone enthusiastically to the point of fanaticism as Diane introduced them all. “I didn’t expect quite so many of you but this is great.”
“We all have different roles,” Giles said. “I was just asking Ms. Fuchsteiner why you think there’s something supernatural happening.”
“If it were just the small animals…and now the large animal,” Blair made a face. “I wouldn’t but things keep happening inside the museum. Stuff gets moved around.”
“How can you tell?” Buffy muttered.
Blair laughed. “It’s not easy but some times it’s pretty obvious, like when all the cars were in different places.”
“Cars?” Angel perked up.
“They’re in another part of the museum. We’ll give it a walk through the whole complex.” Blair pointed down a hallway. “Nothing has happened here but it’s a full moon tonight so I thought you’d appreciate this.”
Buffy led the way down the long hallway. Giles could feel the floor subtle shaking under their feet. The hallway was peculiar, narrow and getting more narrow as it went and with the exception of the floor it was all glass.
“ This is the infinity room ,” Blair said proudly.
“Over 3000 windows and there is nothing below us,” Diane added. “You can’t really see that now but we’re cantilevered 218 over the rock.”
“It was designed to have an Asian feel,” Blair picked up the tale, “But it’s not part of the original house. It only dates back to 1985.”
“What’s happened out here?” Giles asked.
“Nothing. This is just one of the highlights. We like people to get a feel for the museum.” Diane smiled that big smile again. “Follow us. We’ll show you where some of the stuff has happened.”
Giles could feel the tension in his companions, the annoyance. He felt only a little of it himself. They wanted to get to down to business, not play tourist. Still, he wished he could have seen the infinity room in the day light and noticed Darla lingering over a window even though she no longer had the vampiric senses to see well in the night.
“We would have liked a house like this,” she murmured.
Angel looked back at her. “Nice and snug under ground and yet, there would have been the coveted view.” If Angel saw Buffy’s heated look, he ignored it expertly. Maybe they were making good – as best two jealous people could – their promise to be more flexible.
Their guides walked them a good way through exhibits too busy to even be comprehended. They went into the ‘Heritage of the Sea.’ A two hundred foot sea monster fought with an octopus while all around nautical themed exhibits reigned.
“The octopus wouldn’t stop singing,” Blair said, gesturing not to the painted sea battle but to a cartoony orange octopus surrounded by musical instruments. “At first we thought it was just a short in the system but then parts of the exhibits were found out of their cases after hours and stacked up.”
“Sing?” Dawn asked for everyone.
Diane dropped tokens into the set up and the octopus started to make music. Giles’ brow beetled. “Octopus Garden?”
“Huh?” Buffy shot him a quizzical look.
“The Beatles.” Giles nodded to the singing octopus. “Where else have you had incidents?”
The curators beckoned them on and lead them deeper in, stopping in one room to point out the cars that had moved and in another crammed with memorabilia, including a glass-sided horse drawn hearse .
Angel leaned over to Darla and whispered, “Remember those?” She giggled in response. Giles suspected someone would be sleeping in the basement by himself before the night was over.
“There it is!” Dawn cried excitedly pushing ahead of her companions. “The carousel that was in American Gods.”
Giles couldn’t see her eyes in the dim light but he figured they were gleaming in delight. He couldn’t blame her, the carousel was something to be seen especially once Blair hit a button and it became to whirl. Red and scarlet twirled, a myriad of lights dancing like little stars over a fantasy land of colorful animals.
“Two hundred and sixty-eight animals,” he said. “And not one a horse. A lot of them were scavenged from European carousels that were defunct.”
“Where are the horses?” Buffy asked.
Diane pointed up. Everyone looked. On the walls, row after row of wooden horses ran forever in line. Hanging from the ceiling, the four horsemen of the apocalypse rode on frozen in time, something none of them really wanted to be reminded of, and mannequins done up as angels flew in spirals like a fantasy version of a Calder mobile. Giles had never seen anything so surreal, not even back in his misspent youth dropping acid with Ethan.
“Three days ago we came in to find some of the angels molesting the horsemen and the rest were down on the carousel. That’s when we decided we needed help,” Blair said, his face taking on a serious demeanor in the gloom.
“Molesting?” Buffy’s eyebrows reached for the ceiling. “No, I probably don’t want to know.”
“When did all this start?” Giles asked.
“Two weeks ago.”
“Did anything unusual happen?” Giles thought over what could cause this sort of activity and the field needed to be narrowed.
“No,” Diane said.
“Well, not weird,” Blair corrected her. “But we did lose a piece of the exhibit, a Buddha from Thailand. It got broken. It was like an omen. Things went bad around then.”
They talked some more about what needed to be done. Giles promised to come back tomorrow evening and arrangements were made for him and a team to spend the night. He couldn’t wait.
Chapter Two
“My eyes are hurting. There’s just too much to look at,” Darla said, rubbing them for emphasis.
It had taken very little convincing to move Buffy off to more exciting hunting grounds. A haunted museum wasn’t as exciting as vampires running around State Street. Giles had returned to the museum with just Darla and Dawn to help him set up recording devices and cameras. “It is impressive.” Giles had tried to sit down during the day to journal some of what they had seen the night before but there literally had been just so much.
“I think it’s fun,” Dawn said. “I feel like we’re setting up for an episode of Ghosthunters. ” Her faced screwed up. “How come we never thought about making scads of cash on a TV?”
“It wouldn’t have been…” Giles was about to say ‘proper.’ Screw proper, he would have liked to make the kind of cash two Roto Rooter men were making now. A few other thoughts crossed his mind as well. “Now, I’m envisioning a high school aged Buffy getting ready for the cameras.”
“Ugh, that would have meant nothing ever getting done,” Dawn replied with a chuckle. “I’ve got things set up in the carousel room.”
“And I’m ready in the Heritage of the Sea room,” Darla said. “And was going to head to the Streets of Yesterday to set it up.” Her pert nose wrinkled. “I pretty sure those streets didn’t look like that way back when, or not exactly.”
“This whole place is a flight of fancy,” Giles said, making a mental note to ask Darla to elaborate more when they had time. He found it wasn’t hard to get her to do so and he enjoyed her company. Buffy didn’t really approve of it but it wasn’t like he was dating the one-time vampire, just picking her brain and enjoying being with someone with a lot of history. Buffy and her friends were adults now but they still didn’t have a lot history, at least not like he did. “Dawn, you go set up the cameras in the car room and I’ll go set up something in the armory.”
“Sure thing. But first.” Dawn backed him up against a throne, toppling him into it. She pushed the button and lights flashed in an arc above his head. “Let’s see where you place on the ol’ love meter.”
Giles sighed. He was old enough to remember when things like this were popular in arcades but a lovemeter throne was a new one to him. “If it comes up cold fish….”
“We won’t tell Buffy,” Dawn promised.
“Hmmm, Casanova.” Darla grinned as the lovemeter settled on his reading. “I’ll remember that.”
Blushing slightly, Giles let himself consider that possibility. “Uh, yes, w-w-well, back to work.” Giles headed for the armory. Not all the suits of armor were for real; surreal certainly. Armor, guns upon guns, swords and royal crowns, this really was the most bizarre museum he had ever been in.
“How is it going, Mr. Giles?” Blair stepped out from behind one of the exhibits, nearly sending Giles out of his skin.
He tried not to glare at the man. “Good, so far. We’ve set up the carousel, the Heritage of the sea, the cars and Streets of Yesterday. Anywhere else you’d like us to set up? I’m about to do this area.”
“The house itself, I suppose.” Blair nodded. “I know you can’t cover the whole museum in one night.
Giles shook his head. “I’m afraid not. We may have to come back several nights before we have an answer.”
Blair considered that for a moment. “Fair enough.”
“The ladies are back down that way.” Giles pointed. “You can ask one of them to go place some equipment in the house.” He hoped they had enough to do that as Blair headed off, quickly lost to the gloom.
Giles spent several minutes trying to work out the best angles in his head for all of this. Xander and Andrew would have been better choices for this assignment but Giles had spent time in his youth setting up stages. The equipment had evolved but not the basic idea of placement. He was just about done when he thought he heard something echoing up the long, cramped corridor. Museums could be haunted places, if only in the minds of those guards left there at night. Still, he knew he’d better check it out. Flicking the cameras on, Giles headed back the way he had come. He came across a clown proclaiming to test the funny bone. Giles glanced around then popped one of the tokens Blair had given them to entertain themselves into it. The clown’s creepy laugh would have sent Xander running. Giles wouldn’t have blamed him.
As he walked on, Giles smelled danger. Nothing presented itself and he was glad of it since he didn’t have the time or preparation to cast a spell and he hadn’t brought a gun or the like. It wasn’t his style but now he wished he had. The dangerous smell quickly sorted itself out, coppery and strong; blood. He knew the smell well enough but something was mixed with it, vile, fetid like the manure of the fields between this museum and Madison. Clutching the equipment pack more tightly – his only weapon – Giles tried to find the source of the smell. His gut churned as his ears strained. He didn’t hear anyone. If anything happened to his friends, especially Dawn, he would never forgive himself.
Giles saw the legs first, then the pool of blood. Blair’s body seemed to hover just a few inches off the ground, intestines spilling out much like they described with the small animals. The glistening tubes of tissue ruptured in places giving off the stench that had alerted Giles first. Worse, the intestines were writhing and he got the impression that something was in them. Cold sweat popped out over his flesh. He could feel the malevolent presence but not see it. Something clicked in his mind. He didn’t know the name of this thing but he knew where to look it up. If he lived that long.
Giles slewed around corners blindly, not sure if the thing was following him or not. He didn’t feel it but he wasn’t sure he could trust that. Ahead of him he saw Dawn still setting up. Breathless, he tried to rasp out, ‘run.’ Dawn saw him more than heard him, her eyes widening.
“Giles, what?”
“Run!” he managed to get out, damning ever cigarette he had ever smoked.
Dawn knew enough to not argue, at long last. She ran ahead of him, fleet as a fawn. Dawn nearly bowled over Darla. They didn’t even have to tell the world-wise woman to run. Seeing their state, she just fell into step, abandoning her camera. Giles wasn’t sure he was going to make the car. His lungs and thighs burned, his chest felt tight; then they were outside. Ripping the keys out of his pocket, he got the car open. They tumbled in, slamming the doors shut. Giles jammed the key into the ignition and got them away from the place.
“Giles, what was it?” Dawn panted.
“Something ate Blair, something invisible,” Giles said, whipping the car around a bend.
“Ghosts don’t do that,” Darla pointed out.
Giles shook his head. “No but I have some ideas. We have to make sure no one goes in there. I think this thing is trying to jump body to body, working its way up the food chain.”
“But if it’s intangible…” Dawn trailed off. “This ain’t good.”
Understatement, Giles thought but his mind was already racing on to where in his books he’d need to look for this. Actually Darla might be helpful. She had experience in Asia, granted on the other side at the time. Knowing what it was, was only half the battle. Handling something intangible and invisible wasn’t going to be easy.
X X X
“I hate running away,” Dawn grumbled as they headed into Connor’s house.
“Better that than dead,” Giles said but his tone said he was smarting, too.
“Dead?” Connor glanced around the corner to the living room, hearing them come in. “What happened?”
“Where’s Buffy?” Giles asked. “Things went rather badly.”
“She and Angel are gone,” Connor replied, letting Giles slide past him. The Watcher went into the study and brought out some Scotch and glasses.
“Gone?” Darla asked, her eyes canting up at the ceiling as if listening to be sure Stephan was asleep in his crib.
“They got an emergency call to Mount Horeb.” Connor sat loose limbed on the couch as Giles poured. “Somehow the wooden trolls on the trollway came to life. They took out the mustard museum.”
Dawn blinked slowly. “And I used to think stuff like this only happened in Sunnydale.”
“Dad called a while back. They’re having troubles rounded them up and needless to say the vampire is being a big baby about a stupid wooden troll. What a wuss.” Connor smirked and his mother swatted him lightly. He turned his attention back to Giles. “What happened tonight?”
Giles sat wearily, his legs throbbing from the run. “Something ate the guts out of the curator,” he replied and Connor wrinkled his nose. “I’ll have to think of something to tell the police but first, we need a plan and we can’t let anyone back into the House on the Rock until this is over.”
“How can we plan when we don’t know what it is? And now the Slayer’s busy,” Dawn grumbled.
“I have ideas. Dawn, could you go get me Himura Hayate’s Compendium of Asian Lore? I believe it’s in the third crate on the left in Connor’s study.” Giles took a bracing drink.
Dawn nodded. “Sure. What do you have in mind?”
“Didn’t they say an exhibit was broken just before all this started?” Giles asked her.
Dawn ran a hand over her lips. “Yes, a Buddha from Thailand. Is that important?”
Darla’s eyes lit up. She pointed at Giles. “Oh, you’re thinking a hungry ghost.”
“Along those lines, yes.”
“What’s a hungry ghost?” Connor asked.
“It varies from country to country but most often it’s the ghost of someone who died violently or lived immorally,” Giles said. “I think this was something slightly different, trapped inside that statue until it got broken.”
“Here you go, Giles.” Dawn came back and handed him the fat tome.
“Thank you.” Giles let Connor refill his scotch glass as he paged through the book. It took nearly a half hour for him to find what he wanted. “This is it, yes, this fits perfectly.”
“What?” Dawn prompted impatiently.
Giles tapped the page, “You said the Buddha was from Thailand. I think when it broke it released a phi pop.”
“Sounds like a Vietnamese restaurant,” Connor observed.
Giles ignored the interruption with practiced ease. “The story goes a prince learned to send his spirit into the body of animals and a servant overheard him. Seeing his chance, the servant sent his spirit into the prince’s body. The prince as a bird went to his wife and told her what happened. She had the servant’s body destroyed and tricked him into an animal’s body. Her husband reclaimed his body and the servant has gone throughout the years trying to get back into the body.”
“By eating out its intestines?” Dawn’s face twisted.
“I’m afraid so. Alternately, it’s a female ogre who’ll do the same. I’m not sure how multiple phi pops have been generated over the years. It will not stop but it can be banished,” Giles replied.
“How?” Darla asked.
“For that, I’ll need Connor’s help. Luckily we’ll have time to practice,” Giles said with finality. This was something Buffy could have helped with but she was in Mt. Horeb. Connor’s strong body would do just as well. Giles had no intention of letting the phi pop go.
Chapter Three
“I feel silly,” Connor said, stopping his spin. “This is too much like magic. I’m no good at that. I’m a fighter, not a ballet dancer.”
Giles sighed. “It’s not really magic and you can’t fight a ghost. However, the whirlpool dance will work. The phi pop can not resist looking into the whirlwind and it gets sucked in and banished.”
Connor snorted at him, starting to spin in a circle once more. “You just want me to do this because you don’t want to be the one looking silly.”
“Damn straight.” Giles smirked. “And if it goes wrong, you might withstand a blow to the gut better than I.”
“Tell it to my parents when they’re raising their grandson without me.”
Giles stifled a laugh. “I have every confidence in you.”
Connor snorted again, his whirling getting faster. Giles knew he would never had a prayer of going that fast. He was only human but then, so were the Thai priests who had performed similar dances for other phi pops in the past. He thought that Connor would be able to banish the ghost before it even knew it was happening. The sound of a siren, Connor’s cell phone, went off and he stopped, steadying himself against the wall. “Yeah? Damn. Right, no, I have a sitter here. I’ll be right there.” Pocketing the phone, Connor turned to Giles. “Five alarm fire. They’re calling us all in. We’ll have to do this afterwards. Can you guys watch Stephan?”
“Of course.” Giles mentally cursed his luck.
“Wait for me,” Connor said, running for the door. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
Giles considered that only momentarily. The House on the Rock was locked up and he didn’t want to risk the phi pop escaping, going to find more fertile grounds. If it got out, they would have the devil’s own finding it again.
Her eyes narrowing, Dawn asked, “You’re going, aren’t you?”
“I could do the dance,” he replied needlessly. He had been teaching Connor, after all. “I don’t want to wait. It’s too risky.”
“I’ll go with you,” Dawn said. “Wouldn’t two of us dancing be better than one? Or maybe as bait.”
“I’m not using you as bait,” Giles said, plucking off his glasses and cleaning them furiously. Not only was it repugnant to him but he could only imagine what Buffy would say. Or worse, do if Dawn came to harm, but he knew better than to say that to her.
“I’ll go. You stay with Stephan, Dawn,” Darla interjected, bringing both Giles and Dawn’s gazes over to her. No one was used to having her around and helping yet. “I’m familiar with these sorts of ghosts and if things go wrong.” She shrugged her petite shoulders. “I’ve already lived a very long life.”
“Connor won’t like that,” Dawn argued.
“Connor would choose you over me,” Darla said and Giles was surprised to hear no doubt in her voice. “He knows my life has been a long one. But I don’t plan on dying now.” She grinned.
Dawn echoed it back. “All right. I’ll take care of the baby and help you guys get ready. Do I send Buffy and Angel to you if they come home?”
Giles thought for a moment. “Have them call. The house is too big. It’ll be too hard to find us,” he said and they got down to work.
X X X
Giles couldn’t escape the feeling that the whole museum was watching him. He kept checking over his shoulder, as if expecting the exhibits to come to life. Darla and he slowly made their way through the museum but Giles wasn’t sure what he was looking for, certainly not another dead curator. He was hoping maybe the ghost had gone back to its moving around the display items. That would give them a clue at least.
“You won’t be able to see it over your shoulder,” Darla said wryly.
“No, we’re never quite that lucky,” Giles replied, stopping for a moment to get his bearings. He peered into the little window on the wall. Behind the glass was a small automaton of death coming for an alcoholic with a legend claiming it belonged to a London tube once upon a century ago. “These things are creepy.”
“They were back in their day, too,” Darla assured him. He didn’t doubt her.
Further down the corridors, he came across a collection of alcohol barrels, many with faces on their end cap. The one closest to him was leering with its tongue stuck out and white stuff dripping down the side of its face. This particular demon rum container claimed ‘ it’s no fun until I cum .’
“Lovely,” Darla sniffed.
“Hoping this is some of the humbug. I’d hate to think this is real,” Giles replied.
Suddenly sounds of the Mikado echoed through the silent museum. Giles was certain he had left his skin behind he jumped so far. Darla let out a small cry then looked incredibly embarrassed by it. “At least we know where it’s at,” he said.
“We’d better hurry.”
They raced for the Mikado room. Giles only hoped the ghost was still in the machine. The Mikado was one of the most impressive automatons in the museum. It filled the room with gilt and scarlet and vaguely creepy looking Japanese mannequins, the most frightening of which was the scowling centerpiece, which had been pulled partially out of the apparatus.
“Do you think it tried to get into the mannequin?” Darla asked over the wheezing, tinny sounds of the music.
“Anything is possible.” Giles scanned the mechanism quickly, trying to spot some kind of anomaly that would clue him in to the phi pop’s presence but how did one tell when the whole room was clanging and stiffly moving about?
Darla cried out, falling back. Giles saw a trail of red through a rent in her shirt. In front of her the air seemed wrong, thick like looking through greasy glass.
“Are you all right?”
“Guts are still where they belong.” Darla vaulted over the railing into the automaton then tried to climb. Giles was instantly reminded that she was only human now. “Dance! I’ll keep its attention.”
Giles didn’t need the prompting. He had already started to spin, wishing that he had waited for Connor. He was already getting dizzy. He used to enjoy dancing but this really wasn’t dancing. It was like when he was a child and he’d run around arms outstretched, like he was now, pretending to be an airplane. Giles embedded that image in his mind. He was five again and his legs weren’t wobbly. He was a jet fighter.
Darla screamed as the phi pop pulled her free of the machinery. “Over here!” Giles roared. “You’d fit inside me better.” He felt the shifting of the ghost, felt the malevolence swelling towards him like a storm. He spun faster, a sickly pale green glow seeming to come from the air around him, the manifestation of the gateway.
The phi pop gave off a thin wail, vaguely human features coalescing in the air. It tried to sail off but it was caught. The effect was not unlike a flushing toilet. The whirlpool dance sucked the phi pop into some mystical sewer that Giles rather not think about. A sharp crack sounded over the automaton’s music and the green luminescence faded away.
Giles stopped dancing and tried to make his way to Darla’s side. Going in a straight line proved impossible. Lurching drunkenly to the fallen blonde, Giles slumped next to her. Darla was on her knees, trying to get up. He slipped an arm under her elbow. “How badly are you hurt?”
Darla used him to get to her feet. “Bruised and battered but I’ll live. It didn’t get a good piece of me.” She cast a glance around the room as the music died away. “Feels like it’s gone.”
“Should be,” Giles replied.
“Let’s get the hell out of here,” she panted.
“Agreed. Are you good to walk?” Giles gave her a critical look.
“Yes. You?”
“Dizzy but I’ll survive.” Giles smiled. Leaning on each other, they got out of the museum.
X X X
“That was a nasty cut,” Dawn announced coming back into the living room with Stephan on her hip. Darla minced along behind her. “In retrospect, I’m rather glad I didn’t go.”
“I’m just glad we got rid of it.” Darla gingerly lowered herself onto the couch. “The aspirin isn’t doing much. Do you have any more scotch around?”
“I’ll get it,” Giles said as Dawn put Stephan down in his walker that had a seat like a little racing car with a host of doodads to distract him. Giles came back with the scotch and poured for everyone. “Buffy called while you were patching Darla up. One troll is still eluding them.”
“This might take awhile.” Dawn said then looked up sharply, hearing the front door open.
Sweaty and smelling of smoke, Connor came into the room. He took a critical look around the room. “You didn’t wait for me. Are you okay, mom?”
Darla smiled over at him. “I’ll be fine. More importantly Giles succeeded.”
Connor cast weary eyes Giles’ direction. “Thanks for taking care of Mom.” He smiled one of his huge, scary smiles. “Sorry I missed you spinning like a top.”
Giles snorted at him. “I’m grateful almost no one saw. And well pleased with myself for stopping that thing.”
“You should be.” Connor thought for a moment, going over to rub a hand over Stephan’s head. The baby gurgled at him. “Actually I would rather have seen Faith do the whirlpool dance.”
“Yeah, with tassels,” Dawn waved him off.
Connor chuckled. “Sure. Better yet, you and her.”
“And Angel says you inherited nothing from him,” Darla laughed.
“Wouldn’t be a bad sight,” Giles mumbled.
“Giles!” Dawn threw a pillow at him.
The Watcher allowed himself a good laugh. He truly was well pleased with the events, if regretful he didn’t work it out before Blair died. He still had some of his old fire. It was more reassuring than youngsters like Connor or Dawn could understand. The look in Darla’s eyes said she did. Smiling to himself, Giles refilled his scotch glass, looking forward to the tale he could tell Buffy when she got back.
Author’s Note – The great thing about writing this story now is You tube. If you want a fuller experience of the House have fun with these.
the carousel I think I stayed in this room a half hour or more the first time I saw it.
The Mikado This amazed me the first time I saw it. I wish I knew if it were real to the period they claim it is or not (the House does tend to lead you astray)
The Red Room not mentioned in the story directly but cool
laughing clown this is not for the faint of heart. It gives me chills
death of an alcoholic There are several of these automatons doing morality plays. This is the one that stuck with me for years.
Author – D. M. Evans
Disclaimer – nothing’s changed over the years, still not mine. All rights belong to Mr. Whedon et al.
Pairing – None, gen fic (with implied Buffy/Angel)
Time line – post series
Rating – FRT
Summary – The Scoobies and Fang Gang have taken to working together when Giles learns of a disturbance at a very unique museum.
Authors Note 1 – This was written for the
summer_of_giles. Thanks to evil_little_dog for the beta and being very excited about the setting. I have literally been wanting to use this setting for years. I had no idea Neil Gaiman had used it until I started doing the researchAuthor’s Note 2 - There are hyperlinks to photos of things in the museum (which is a must see if you’re in the Madison WI area). However, if you don’t like clicking on photo links there’s absolutely no reason you have to, to enjoy this. Most of these photos are mine, i really miss living in Madison
Author’s Note 3 – This is set inside a series of mine. There’s no need to read those to enjoy this since that wouldn’t be fair. You can get all the background from the first page of this story. But if you want to read the first story (I can’t find the second….) it’s Tearing Away the veil (this is an FFN link, the story predates me moving to LJ)
XXX
Chapter One
Giles wondered how he had become the appointed babysitter. So many times in Sunnydale, he had felt like a glorified nanny instead of a Watcher but now here in Madison, he was watching a seven month old stack soft multicolored pillowy rings on a padded spike with obvious glee. Giles had never really thought about having children. He hadn’t wanted to do the whole ‘duty to his lineage and the Watchers’ thing when he was younger then he blinked and suddenly he was in his fifties. In spite of diapers scarier than any demon, Giles actually liked his added duty. Stephan gazed up at him with dark, Greek eyes as if to say, ‘did I do good?’ Giles pointed to the last ring. Stephan grabbed it with his chubby fingers and placed it on the top of the tower, giggling wildly as he clapped. “Very good.” Giles grinned, wondering how a Watcher like himself ended up watching the grandson of two vampires.
Sometimes his place in Watcher history went to his head, just a little. He helped to rebuild the Watchers’ Council, making it less hidebound not to mention being Watcher to one of the longest-lived and undoubtedly best Slayers even. He topped that off with Faith and the other Slayers, some powerful mages and a laundry list of other sundries. His father would have been proud. Their temporary duty assignment in Wisconsin had led to Giles getting to indulge his love of writing. What a story it was; Angel and Darla’s very bizarre history, the birth of their son, Connor’s own tragic history, culminating with Eve bringing Darla back from the dead again and killing Connor’s wife, cutting little Stephan from her body. Once he started documenting everything that had happened since he came to the States, Giles realized just how exciting, terrifying and important their lives had been.
Of course, at the moment, life was a little less exciting and a lot calmer, not that Giles was complaining. Having made Madison their temporary home base because Angel wanted to be close to his new grandson, the whole team had settled in for a few months, maybe more. Faith, Spike and Illyria were in Milwaukee, supposedly after a demon. Giles figured they were actually at Summerfest, lucky plonkers. Willow and Xander were in Barcelona documenting a cache of freshly uncovered mystical items. Buffy and Angel were somewhere patrolling the town. Connor was at the fire house on duty leaving Giles alone with the baby and Giles wasn’t exactly what Darla had planned but she wasn’t around to baby-sit. He almost wanted something exciting to happen.
As if something had heard him, Dawn came home. Grinning, she scooped Stephan up. “Oh good, he’s still awake.”
“I was just about to go put him down for the night,” Giles replied.
“I’ll do it.” Dawn headed for the stairs. “And then I’ll tell you about a new job for us.”
Giles smiled at that. He couldn’t wait. He very much liked the idea of having something to do and wondered what that said about him. He poured himself a Scotch while he waited for Dawn to get Stephan to sleep.
Dawn came back and flopped on the couch. “Ever hear of the House on the Rock?”
Giles’ brow furrowed. “Wasn’t that in that Gaiman book Xander wouldn’t stop going on about?”
“Yeah. It’s not all that far from Madison,” Dawn replied. “Apparently a house built by an eccentric that’s now a very big museum.” She paused for effect. “They’ve been having disturbances.”
“What kind?” Giles’ curiosity had been captured by the word ‘museum.’
“Exhibits being rearranged, minor stuff with one major exception. There have been a lot of little animals left gutted outside on the grounds, squirrels birds, the sort of thing that a cat would do until today.” Dawn shuddered. “When they found a dog.”
“That would have be one big cat,” Giles quipped. “So, they want us to come check it out. Are they sure it’s not a coyote?”
“Wouldn’t a coyote eat more than just the guts?” Dawn asked.
“I suppose so.”
“And it’s been happening most nights for weeks so that rules out Werewolves,” Dawn added.
“Interesting,” Giles said, not entirely sure that it was but it was a diversion at any rate. “When do they want us there?”
“Tomorrow at close. I’m not sure we need to get Buffy involved just yet,” Dawn said.
Giles considered that for a moment. “Probably not. You and I can do the research end of it first, maybe get Darla involved.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Yes, it did at that, Giles decided happily.
X X X
Giles wondered if Madison was too boring for Buffy since he and Dawn didn’t escape to the House on the Rock alone. Being evening, Angel could come as well. Giles had a belated thought that perhaps they should have left Darla behind. While Buffy accepted that the woman was alive and well and that Angel had no interest in Darla, it was best the two petite blondes didn’t mix much.
“This is just odd,” Buffy said, looking around the grounds in front of the museum. Huge ‘bronze’ planters adorned a low wall, each covered with lizards, a few winged, and plants growing out of the shells protruding from the pots. The pots made Giles feel rather small and he had to wonder if a crane had been needed to place them. Merlin oversaw everything from his corner.
“From what I could gather on the net, which there wasn’t all that much, this is something P.T. Barnum would have loved. A lot of the exhibits are real but others are a bit of humbug.” Dawn grinned.
“Two miles of exhibits,” Giles added excitedly. He was intrigued and more than a little excited about a museum that was not only that large but much of it tunneling into rock. At least with Angel and Dawn, he did have companions who might actually find a museum something other than dull.
“That leaves a lot of area to cover,” Buffy remarked, visibly not thrilled with that possibility. “At least museums are pretty big and roomy. You can see the monster coming for you.”
Ten minutes later they learned just how wrong Buffy was. Diane, one of the managers who met them grinned as she led them into the house portion of the museum. “Impressive, isn’t it?”
“This is amazing,” Giles said, looking around at the room. Beige stone bricks held together with thick sloppy gray mortar, every cranny crammed with something, much of it, Asian inspired along with Tiffanyesque glass and statues and stained glass better suited for churches.
“The ceiling is rather low in here.” Angel eyed it uneasily. Giles had to agree.
“ It’s really dark ,” Darla muttered, glancing at the fireplace crammed with cauldrons.
Buffy stared at the saggy-pillowed bench-like couch. “Fred Flintstone lived here,” she remarked and Diane’s widely painted smile faltered a bit.
“Mr. Jordan was eccentric,” Diane offered diplomatically beckoning them to follow. “Blair is waiting for us in the Infinity room.” She led the way.
“Why do you think that there is supernatural involvement?” Giles asked.
Diane’s look was more pitying than one of belief. “I don’t. Blair does and since he’s the boss…” She shrugged. “I think it’s more likely a pack of wild dogs. People just abandoned their pets willy-nilly any more. This way.” She picked up the pace. “Blair!”
An older man with a graying ponytail waved at them. “Sorry I couldn’t meet you. I had something to tie up. I’m Blair Anders, pleased to meet you all.” He shook hands with everyone enthusiastically to the point of fanaticism as Diane introduced them all. “I didn’t expect quite so many of you but this is great.”
“We all have different roles,” Giles said. “I was just asking Ms. Fuchsteiner why you think there’s something supernatural happening.”
“If it were just the small animals…and now the large animal,” Blair made a face. “I wouldn’t but things keep happening inside the museum. Stuff gets moved around.”
“How can you tell?” Buffy muttered.
Blair laughed. “It’s not easy but some times it’s pretty obvious, like when all the cars were in different places.”
“Cars?” Angel perked up.
“They’re in another part of the museum. We’ll give it a walk through the whole complex.” Blair pointed down a hallway. “Nothing has happened here but it’s a full moon tonight so I thought you’d appreciate this.”
Buffy led the way down the long hallway. Giles could feel the floor subtle shaking under their feet. The hallway was peculiar, narrow and getting more narrow as it went and with the exception of the floor it was all glass.
“ This is the infinity room ,” Blair said proudly.
“Over 3000 windows and there is nothing below us,” Diane added. “You can’t really see that now but we’re cantilevered 218 over the rock.”
“It was designed to have an Asian feel,” Blair picked up the tale, “But it’s not part of the original house. It only dates back to 1985.”
“What’s happened out here?” Giles asked.
“Nothing. This is just one of the highlights. We like people to get a feel for the museum.” Diane smiled that big smile again. “Follow us. We’ll show you where some of the stuff has happened.”
Giles could feel the tension in his companions, the annoyance. He felt only a little of it himself. They wanted to get to down to business, not play tourist. Still, he wished he could have seen the infinity room in the day light and noticed Darla lingering over a window even though she no longer had the vampiric senses to see well in the night.
“We would have liked a house like this,” she murmured.
Angel looked back at her. “Nice and snug under ground and yet, there would have been the coveted view.” If Angel saw Buffy’s heated look, he ignored it expertly. Maybe they were making good – as best two jealous people could – their promise to be more flexible.
Their guides walked them a good way through exhibits too busy to even be comprehended. They went into the ‘Heritage of the Sea.’ A two hundred foot sea monster fought with an octopus while all around nautical themed exhibits reigned.
“The octopus wouldn’t stop singing,” Blair said, gesturing not to the painted sea battle but to a cartoony orange octopus surrounded by musical instruments. “At first we thought it was just a short in the system but then parts of the exhibits were found out of their cases after hours and stacked up.”
“Sing?” Dawn asked for everyone.
Diane dropped tokens into the set up and the octopus started to make music. Giles’ brow beetled. “Octopus Garden?”
“Huh?” Buffy shot him a quizzical look.
“The Beatles.” Giles nodded to the singing octopus. “Where else have you had incidents?”
The curators beckoned them on and lead them deeper in, stopping in one room to point out the cars that had moved and in another crammed with memorabilia, including a glass-sided horse drawn hearse .
Angel leaned over to Darla and whispered, “Remember those?” She giggled in response. Giles suspected someone would be sleeping in the basement by himself before the night was over.
“There it is!” Dawn cried excitedly pushing ahead of her companions. “The carousel that was in American Gods.”
Giles couldn’t see her eyes in the dim light but he figured they were gleaming in delight. He couldn’t blame her, the carousel was something to be seen especially once Blair hit a button and it became to whirl. Red and scarlet twirled, a myriad of lights dancing like little stars over a fantasy land of colorful animals.
“Two hundred and sixty-eight animals,” he said. “And not one a horse. A lot of them were scavenged from European carousels that were defunct.”
“Where are the horses?” Buffy asked.
Diane pointed up. Everyone looked. On the walls, row after row of wooden horses ran forever in line. Hanging from the ceiling, the four horsemen of the apocalypse rode on frozen in time, something none of them really wanted to be reminded of, and mannequins done up as angels flew in spirals like a fantasy version of a Calder mobile. Giles had never seen anything so surreal, not even back in his misspent youth dropping acid with Ethan.
“Three days ago we came in to find some of the angels molesting the horsemen and the rest were down on the carousel. That’s when we decided we needed help,” Blair said, his face taking on a serious demeanor in the gloom.
“Molesting?” Buffy’s eyebrows reached for the ceiling. “No, I probably don’t want to know.”
“When did all this start?” Giles asked.
“Two weeks ago.”
“Did anything unusual happen?” Giles thought over what could cause this sort of activity and the field needed to be narrowed.
“No,” Diane said.
“Well, not weird,” Blair corrected her. “But we did lose a piece of the exhibit, a Buddha from Thailand. It got broken. It was like an omen. Things went bad around then.”
They talked some more about what needed to be done. Giles promised to come back tomorrow evening and arrangements were made for him and a team to spend the night. He couldn’t wait.
Chapter Two
“My eyes are hurting. There’s just too much to look at,” Darla said, rubbing them for emphasis.
It had taken very little convincing to move Buffy off to more exciting hunting grounds. A haunted museum wasn’t as exciting as vampires running around State Street. Giles had returned to the museum with just Darla and Dawn to help him set up recording devices and cameras. “It is impressive.” Giles had tried to sit down during the day to journal some of what they had seen the night before but there literally had been just so much.
“I think it’s fun,” Dawn said. “I feel like we’re setting up for an episode of Ghosthunters. ” Her faced screwed up. “How come we never thought about making scads of cash on a TV?”
“It wouldn’t have been…” Giles was about to say ‘proper.’ Screw proper, he would have liked to make the kind of cash two Roto Rooter men were making now. A few other thoughts crossed his mind as well. “Now, I’m envisioning a high school aged Buffy getting ready for the cameras.”
“Ugh, that would have meant nothing ever getting done,” Dawn replied with a chuckle. “I’ve got things set up in the carousel room.”
“And I’m ready in the Heritage of the Sea room,” Darla said. “And was going to head to the Streets of Yesterday to set it up.” Her pert nose wrinkled. “I pretty sure those streets didn’t look like that way back when, or not exactly.”
“This whole place is a flight of fancy,” Giles said, making a mental note to ask Darla to elaborate more when they had time. He found it wasn’t hard to get her to do so and he enjoyed her company. Buffy didn’t really approve of it but it wasn’t like he was dating the one-time vampire, just picking her brain and enjoying being with someone with a lot of history. Buffy and her friends were adults now but they still didn’t have a lot history, at least not like he did. “Dawn, you go set up the cameras in the car room and I’ll go set up something in the armory.”
“Sure thing. But first.” Dawn backed him up against a throne, toppling him into it. She pushed the button and lights flashed in an arc above his head. “Let’s see where you place on the ol’ love meter.”
Giles sighed. He was old enough to remember when things like this were popular in arcades but a lovemeter throne was a new one to him. “If it comes up cold fish….”
“We won’t tell Buffy,” Dawn promised.
“Hmmm, Casanova.” Darla grinned as the lovemeter settled on his reading. “I’ll remember that.”
Blushing slightly, Giles let himself consider that possibility. “Uh, yes, w-w-well, back to work.” Giles headed for the armory. Not all the suits of armor were for real; surreal certainly. Armor, guns upon guns, swords and royal crowns, this really was the most bizarre museum he had ever been in.
“How is it going, Mr. Giles?” Blair stepped out from behind one of the exhibits, nearly sending Giles out of his skin.
He tried not to glare at the man. “Good, so far. We’ve set up the carousel, the Heritage of the sea, the cars and Streets of Yesterday. Anywhere else you’d like us to set up? I’m about to do this area.”
“The house itself, I suppose.” Blair nodded. “I know you can’t cover the whole museum in one night.
Giles shook his head. “I’m afraid not. We may have to come back several nights before we have an answer.”
Blair considered that for a moment. “Fair enough.”
“The ladies are back down that way.” Giles pointed. “You can ask one of them to go place some equipment in the house.” He hoped they had enough to do that as Blair headed off, quickly lost to the gloom.
Giles spent several minutes trying to work out the best angles in his head for all of this. Xander and Andrew would have been better choices for this assignment but Giles had spent time in his youth setting up stages. The equipment had evolved but not the basic idea of placement. He was just about done when he thought he heard something echoing up the long, cramped corridor. Museums could be haunted places, if only in the minds of those guards left there at night. Still, he knew he’d better check it out. Flicking the cameras on, Giles headed back the way he had come. He came across a clown proclaiming to test the funny bone. Giles glanced around then popped one of the tokens Blair had given them to entertain themselves into it. The clown’s creepy laugh would have sent Xander running. Giles wouldn’t have blamed him.
As he walked on, Giles smelled danger. Nothing presented itself and he was glad of it since he didn’t have the time or preparation to cast a spell and he hadn’t brought a gun or the like. It wasn’t his style but now he wished he had. The dangerous smell quickly sorted itself out, coppery and strong; blood. He knew the smell well enough but something was mixed with it, vile, fetid like the manure of the fields between this museum and Madison. Clutching the equipment pack more tightly – his only weapon – Giles tried to find the source of the smell. His gut churned as his ears strained. He didn’t hear anyone. If anything happened to his friends, especially Dawn, he would never forgive himself.
Giles saw the legs first, then the pool of blood. Blair’s body seemed to hover just a few inches off the ground, intestines spilling out much like they described with the small animals. The glistening tubes of tissue ruptured in places giving off the stench that had alerted Giles first. Worse, the intestines were writhing and he got the impression that something was in them. Cold sweat popped out over his flesh. He could feel the malevolent presence but not see it. Something clicked in his mind. He didn’t know the name of this thing but he knew where to look it up. If he lived that long.
Giles slewed around corners blindly, not sure if the thing was following him or not. He didn’t feel it but he wasn’t sure he could trust that. Ahead of him he saw Dawn still setting up. Breathless, he tried to rasp out, ‘run.’ Dawn saw him more than heard him, her eyes widening.
“Giles, what?”
“Run!” he managed to get out, damning ever cigarette he had ever smoked.
Dawn knew enough to not argue, at long last. She ran ahead of him, fleet as a fawn. Dawn nearly bowled over Darla. They didn’t even have to tell the world-wise woman to run. Seeing their state, she just fell into step, abandoning her camera. Giles wasn’t sure he was going to make the car. His lungs and thighs burned, his chest felt tight; then they were outside. Ripping the keys out of his pocket, he got the car open. They tumbled in, slamming the doors shut. Giles jammed the key into the ignition and got them away from the place.
“Giles, what was it?” Dawn panted.
“Something ate Blair, something invisible,” Giles said, whipping the car around a bend.
“Ghosts don’t do that,” Darla pointed out.
Giles shook his head. “No but I have some ideas. We have to make sure no one goes in there. I think this thing is trying to jump body to body, working its way up the food chain.”
“But if it’s intangible…” Dawn trailed off. “This ain’t good.”
Understatement, Giles thought but his mind was already racing on to where in his books he’d need to look for this. Actually Darla might be helpful. She had experience in Asia, granted on the other side at the time. Knowing what it was, was only half the battle. Handling something intangible and invisible wasn’t going to be easy.
X X X
“I hate running away,” Dawn grumbled as they headed into Connor’s house.
“Better that than dead,” Giles said but his tone said he was smarting, too.
“Dead?” Connor glanced around the corner to the living room, hearing them come in. “What happened?”
“Where’s Buffy?” Giles asked. “Things went rather badly.”
“She and Angel are gone,” Connor replied, letting Giles slide past him. The Watcher went into the study and brought out some Scotch and glasses.
“Gone?” Darla asked, her eyes canting up at the ceiling as if listening to be sure Stephan was asleep in his crib.
“They got an emergency call to Mount Horeb.” Connor sat loose limbed on the couch as Giles poured. “Somehow the wooden trolls on the trollway came to life. They took out the mustard museum.”
Dawn blinked slowly. “And I used to think stuff like this only happened in Sunnydale.”
“Dad called a while back. They’re having troubles rounded them up and needless to say the vampire is being a big baby about a stupid wooden troll. What a wuss.” Connor smirked and his mother swatted him lightly. He turned his attention back to Giles. “What happened tonight?”
Giles sat wearily, his legs throbbing from the run. “Something ate the guts out of the curator,” he replied and Connor wrinkled his nose. “I’ll have to think of something to tell the police but first, we need a plan and we can’t let anyone back into the House on the Rock until this is over.”
“How can we plan when we don’t know what it is? And now the Slayer’s busy,” Dawn grumbled.
“I have ideas. Dawn, could you go get me Himura Hayate’s Compendium of Asian Lore? I believe it’s in the third crate on the left in Connor’s study.” Giles took a bracing drink.
Dawn nodded. “Sure. What do you have in mind?”
“Didn’t they say an exhibit was broken just before all this started?” Giles asked her.
Dawn ran a hand over her lips. “Yes, a Buddha from Thailand. Is that important?”
Darla’s eyes lit up. She pointed at Giles. “Oh, you’re thinking a hungry ghost.”
“Along those lines, yes.”
“What’s a hungry ghost?” Connor asked.
“It varies from country to country but most often it’s the ghost of someone who died violently or lived immorally,” Giles said. “I think this was something slightly different, trapped inside that statue until it got broken.”
“Here you go, Giles.” Dawn came back and handed him the fat tome.
“Thank you.” Giles let Connor refill his scotch glass as he paged through the book. It took nearly a half hour for him to find what he wanted. “This is it, yes, this fits perfectly.”
“What?” Dawn prompted impatiently.
Giles tapped the page, “You said the Buddha was from Thailand. I think when it broke it released a phi pop.”
“Sounds like a Vietnamese restaurant,” Connor observed.
Giles ignored the interruption with practiced ease. “The story goes a prince learned to send his spirit into the body of animals and a servant overheard him. Seeing his chance, the servant sent his spirit into the prince’s body. The prince as a bird went to his wife and told her what happened. She had the servant’s body destroyed and tricked him into an animal’s body. Her husband reclaimed his body and the servant has gone throughout the years trying to get back into the body.”
“By eating out its intestines?” Dawn’s face twisted.
“I’m afraid so. Alternately, it’s a female ogre who’ll do the same. I’m not sure how multiple phi pops have been generated over the years. It will not stop but it can be banished,” Giles replied.
“How?” Darla asked.
“For that, I’ll need Connor’s help. Luckily we’ll have time to practice,” Giles said with finality. This was something Buffy could have helped with but she was in Mt. Horeb. Connor’s strong body would do just as well. Giles had no intention of letting the phi pop go.
Chapter Three
“I feel silly,” Connor said, stopping his spin. “This is too much like magic. I’m no good at that. I’m a fighter, not a ballet dancer.”
Giles sighed. “It’s not really magic and you can’t fight a ghost. However, the whirlpool dance will work. The phi pop can not resist looking into the whirlwind and it gets sucked in and banished.”
Connor snorted at him, starting to spin in a circle once more. “You just want me to do this because you don’t want to be the one looking silly.”
“Damn straight.” Giles smirked. “And if it goes wrong, you might withstand a blow to the gut better than I.”
“Tell it to my parents when they’re raising their grandson without me.”
Giles stifled a laugh. “I have every confidence in you.”
Connor snorted again, his whirling getting faster. Giles knew he would never had a prayer of going that fast. He was only human but then, so were the Thai priests who had performed similar dances for other phi pops in the past. He thought that Connor would be able to banish the ghost before it even knew it was happening. The sound of a siren, Connor’s cell phone, went off and he stopped, steadying himself against the wall. “Yeah? Damn. Right, no, I have a sitter here. I’ll be right there.” Pocketing the phone, Connor turned to Giles. “Five alarm fire. They’re calling us all in. We’ll have to do this afterwards. Can you guys watch Stephan?”
“Of course.” Giles mentally cursed his luck.
“Wait for me,” Connor said, running for the door. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
Giles considered that only momentarily. The House on the Rock was locked up and he didn’t want to risk the phi pop escaping, going to find more fertile grounds. If it got out, they would have the devil’s own finding it again.
Her eyes narrowing, Dawn asked, “You’re going, aren’t you?”
“I could do the dance,” he replied needlessly. He had been teaching Connor, after all. “I don’t want to wait. It’s too risky.”
“I’ll go with you,” Dawn said. “Wouldn’t two of us dancing be better than one? Or maybe as bait.”
“I’m not using you as bait,” Giles said, plucking off his glasses and cleaning them furiously. Not only was it repugnant to him but he could only imagine what Buffy would say. Or worse, do if Dawn came to harm, but he knew better than to say that to her.
“I’ll go. You stay with Stephan, Dawn,” Darla interjected, bringing both Giles and Dawn’s gazes over to her. No one was used to having her around and helping yet. “I’m familiar with these sorts of ghosts and if things go wrong.” She shrugged her petite shoulders. “I’ve already lived a very long life.”
“Connor won’t like that,” Dawn argued.
“Connor would choose you over me,” Darla said and Giles was surprised to hear no doubt in her voice. “He knows my life has been a long one. But I don’t plan on dying now.” She grinned.
Dawn echoed it back. “All right. I’ll take care of the baby and help you guys get ready. Do I send Buffy and Angel to you if they come home?”
Giles thought for a moment. “Have them call. The house is too big. It’ll be too hard to find us,” he said and they got down to work.
X X X
Giles couldn’t escape the feeling that the whole museum was watching him. He kept checking over his shoulder, as if expecting the exhibits to come to life. Darla and he slowly made their way through the museum but Giles wasn’t sure what he was looking for, certainly not another dead curator. He was hoping maybe the ghost had gone back to its moving around the display items. That would give them a clue at least.
“You won’t be able to see it over your shoulder,” Darla said wryly.
“No, we’re never quite that lucky,” Giles replied, stopping for a moment to get his bearings. He peered into the little window on the wall. Behind the glass was a small automaton of death coming for an alcoholic with a legend claiming it belonged to a London tube once upon a century ago. “These things are creepy.”
“They were back in their day, too,” Darla assured him. He didn’t doubt her.
Further down the corridors, he came across a collection of alcohol barrels, many with faces on their end cap. The one closest to him was leering with its tongue stuck out and white stuff dripping down the side of its face. This particular demon rum container claimed ‘ it’s no fun until I cum .’
“Lovely,” Darla sniffed.
“Hoping this is some of the humbug. I’d hate to think this is real,” Giles replied.
Suddenly sounds of the Mikado echoed through the silent museum. Giles was certain he had left his skin behind he jumped so far. Darla let out a small cry then looked incredibly embarrassed by it. “At least we know where it’s at,” he said.
“We’d better hurry.”
They raced for the Mikado room. Giles only hoped the ghost was still in the machine. The Mikado was one of the most impressive automatons in the museum. It filled the room with gilt and scarlet and vaguely creepy looking Japanese mannequins, the most frightening of which was the scowling centerpiece, which had been pulled partially out of the apparatus.
“Do you think it tried to get into the mannequin?” Darla asked over the wheezing, tinny sounds of the music.
“Anything is possible.” Giles scanned the mechanism quickly, trying to spot some kind of anomaly that would clue him in to the phi pop’s presence but how did one tell when the whole room was clanging and stiffly moving about?
Darla cried out, falling back. Giles saw a trail of red through a rent in her shirt. In front of her the air seemed wrong, thick like looking through greasy glass.
“Are you all right?”
“Guts are still where they belong.” Darla vaulted over the railing into the automaton then tried to climb. Giles was instantly reminded that she was only human now. “Dance! I’ll keep its attention.”
Giles didn’t need the prompting. He had already started to spin, wishing that he had waited for Connor. He was already getting dizzy. He used to enjoy dancing but this really wasn’t dancing. It was like when he was a child and he’d run around arms outstretched, like he was now, pretending to be an airplane. Giles embedded that image in his mind. He was five again and his legs weren’t wobbly. He was a jet fighter.
Darla screamed as the phi pop pulled her free of the machinery. “Over here!” Giles roared. “You’d fit inside me better.” He felt the shifting of the ghost, felt the malevolence swelling towards him like a storm. He spun faster, a sickly pale green glow seeming to come from the air around him, the manifestation of the gateway.
The phi pop gave off a thin wail, vaguely human features coalescing in the air. It tried to sail off but it was caught. The effect was not unlike a flushing toilet. The whirlpool dance sucked the phi pop into some mystical sewer that Giles rather not think about. A sharp crack sounded over the automaton’s music and the green luminescence faded away.
Giles stopped dancing and tried to make his way to Darla’s side. Going in a straight line proved impossible. Lurching drunkenly to the fallen blonde, Giles slumped next to her. Darla was on her knees, trying to get up. He slipped an arm under her elbow. “How badly are you hurt?”
Darla used him to get to her feet. “Bruised and battered but I’ll live. It didn’t get a good piece of me.” She cast a glance around the room as the music died away. “Feels like it’s gone.”
“Should be,” Giles replied.
“Let’s get the hell out of here,” she panted.
“Agreed. Are you good to walk?” Giles gave her a critical look.
“Yes. You?”
“Dizzy but I’ll survive.” Giles smiled. Leaning on each other, they got out of the museum.
X X X
“That was a nasty cut,” Dawn announced coming back into the living room with Stephan on her hip. Darla minced along behind her. “In retrospect, I’m rather glad I didn’t go.”
“I’m just glad we got rid of it.” Darla gingerly lowered herself onto the couch. “The aspirin isn’t doing much. Do you have any more scotch around?”
“I’ll get it,” Giles said as Dawn put Stephan down in his walker that had a seat like a little racing car with a host of doodads to distract him. Giles came back with the scotch and poured for everyone. “Buffy called while you were patching Darla up. One troll is still eluding them.”
“This might take awhile.” Dawn said then looked up sharply, hearing the front door open.
Sweaty and smelling of smoke, Connor came into the room. He took a critical look around the room. “You didn’t wait for me. Are you okay, mom?”
Darla smiled over at him. “I’ll be fine. More importantly Giles succeeded.”
Connor cast weary eyes Giles’ direction. “Thanks for taking care of Mom.” He smiled one of his huge, scary smiles. “Sorry I missed you spinning like a top.”
Giles snorted at him. “I’m grateful almost no one saw. And well pleased with myself for stopping that thing.”
“You should be.” Connor thought for a moment, going over to rub a hand over Stephan’s head. The baby gurgled at him. “Actually I would rather have seen Faith do the whirlpool dance.”
“Yeah, with tassels,” Dawn waved him off.
Connor chuckled. “Sure. Better yet, you and her.”
“And Angel says you inherited nothing from him,” Darla laughed.
“Wouldn’t be a bad sight,” Giles mumbled.
“Giles!” Dawn threw a pillow at him.
The Watcher allowed himself a good laugh. He truly was well pleased with the events, if regretful he didn’t work it out before Blair died. He still had some of his old fire. It was more reassuring than youngsters like Connor or Dawn could understand. The look in Darla’s eyes said she did. Smiling to himself, Giles refilled his scotch glass, looking forward to the tale he could tell Buffy when she got back.
Author’s Note – The great thing about writing this story now is You tube. If you want a fuller experience of the House have fun with these.
the carousel I think I stayed in this room a half hour or more the first time I saw it.
The Mikado This amazed me the first time I saw it. I wish I knew if it were real to the period they claim it is or not (the House does tend to lead you astray)
The Red Room not mentioned in the story directly but cool
laughing clown this is not for the faint of heart. It gives me chills
death of an alcoholic There are several of these automatons doing morality plays. This is the one that stuck with me for years.
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Date: 2008-07-13 03:19 am (UTC)thank you
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Date: 2008-07-13 03:24 pm (UTC)This story was extra fun for me since I got all of the local references. Vampires on State Street, ha! This was a great backdrop for a story though, and an interesting big bad. It made perfect sense.
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Date: 2008-07-13 03:53 pm (UTC)