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cornerofmadnessSorrow’s Dark Array
Author -![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
cornerofmadness
Disclaimer - not mine, all characters belong to Hiromu Arakawa et al, Square Enix and funimition.
Pairing – Roy/Riza, Ed/Win (eventually) Winry/OC, mentions of Maes/Gracia and Al/OC
Rating – THIS CHAPTER IS NC-17
Time Line – anime based, spoilers all the way through the anime and the movie and does have strong manga elements such as Armstrong’s older sister and the land of Xing
Summary – As Roy and Riza prepare for their wedding, while dodging assassins, Ed and Al try to find their way back home.
Author’s Note #1– This was written after much prodding byevil_little_dog as a sequel to the source of sorrow and is now her holiday gift even if she has beta’ed part of it. So thanks to her and lyricnonsense for the beta. You do not have to read the first story to understand this. You’ll quickly pick up that Riza has retired from the military to be Roy’s wife and bodyguard. Olivia Armstrong is now president and she’s assigned Roy as the ambassador to Ishbal; oh and that Roy was severely injured in the destruction of the Gate, requiring some of Winry’s automail.
Author's Note #2 - This is a longer work and like real relationships, the ones listed in the pairings, take time to mend and come together. They have to work at it. Hope you enjoy the ride.
WARNING - THIS CHAPTER IS NC-17. If you do not wish to read the erotica click here for the alternative version It's up at FFN sans sex.
Author's Note #3 - The Ed/Winry scene was originally written for my Edward claim at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
fma_fuh_q though it's been changed a bit from there (mostly because I thought this would come WAY earlier in the story than it did)
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter eight
Chapter nine
chapter ten
chapter eleven
chapter twelve
chapter thirteen
chapter fourteen
chapter fifteen
chapter sixteen
“Days of absence, sad and dreary, Clothed in sorrow's dark array, Days of absence, I am weary; She I love is far away.” – Shakespeare
Chapter Seventeen
Yes n hey, it’s good to be back home again
Oh the time that I can lay this tired old body down
Feel your fingers feather soft upon me
The kisses that I live for, the love that lights my way – John Denver, Back Home Again
“You should probably just go do what you have to do,” Dev said, hoping the Ishbalan Center would be deserted as the whole of Amestris followed him inside. He didn’t know why they couldn’t wait in the car while Mustang did his business. The only one who had was Riza, with the motor running as if expecting trouble, and she had only stayed behind at Mustang’s insistence. She had wanted Winry to stay with the car since Riza was supposed to be bodyguarding the ambassador. “I’ll be busy here most of the day.”
“I need to get some paperwork before I take them shopping, finally.” Roy gestured to the Elrics and Hughes. “Riza is going to drop us off then she and Winry are meeting Gracia and Rebecca in town and to do woman stuff.”
“Woman stuff?” Dev opened the door, scowling upon seeing his friends hanging around inside the cavernous gaming room that greeted all-comers to the center. Several sets of red eyes fixed on them as the room quieted. Pool sticks were set aside, chess games ignored.
“I keep my nose out of woman stuff,” Roy replied, touching his bandaged head, trying to pretend it still didn’t hurt. “Li-Ying is meeting them after lunch. She has a date. I knew she had a boyfriend. She couldn’t have been hanging around just for me.”
“No one would,” Ed replied, glancing around the room, as curious as his brother about some of the strictly Ishbalan games set out among the pool tables and chess and dart boards.
“Why are you bringing them here, Jasso?” one of the young men snapped, looking up from the chair he was sprawled in.
“The Ambassador’s here on business then they’re all leaving, Eyal,” Dev replied, giving Roy a look that said ‘hurry up.’ Roy’s answering gaze replied, ‘no problem.’
“What? They couldn’t wait in the car?” Eyal replied, echoing Dev’s own sentiment.
Dev curled his lip. He and Eyal never got along. Eyal was a loafer who did little more than stir up trouble. Sadly, Rotem and Vashti had been spending more time with him lately. He wasn’t surprised to see them, along with Vashti’s sister, Anah, playing a game of darts. “Ignore them. They’d be done with their business already if you’d just leave off for a minute.”
Edward smiled a dangerously toothy grin, his hands shoving deep into his pockets and elbows swung out to the side. “You know,” he said loudly, “my brother and I helped rescue a bunch of your people, back when we were younger than you.” He hooked a thumb at Alphonse, showing even more teeth. “My brother was saved by one of your heroes, a guy named Scar. Bet you've heard of him.”
“Yeah we know him. An Ishbalan who used alchemy. That’s not right,” Dev gritted out as several of the young Ishbalans filtered deeper into the other rooms the center had to offer as if wanting nothing to do with the brewing fight. “Just don’t talk.” He glared back at Winry. “Tell me I knew how when not to open my mouth up better than he does?”
Winry sighed heavily, holding up a warning finger to both men.
“I’ll be quick. Edward, now is not the time,” Roy said as a back door opened and Aris peeked out, hearing the raised voices.
The priest opened the door fully. “I need a moment to finish what you came for, Roy. Hala was looking over some of the preliminaries for the hospital.”
“Oh, good,” Roy said, heading for the office.
“How can you work with these people?” Eyal continued, his eyes on Edward now that the young man had drawn attention to himself. “Have you forgotten what they’ve done?”
“Obviously,” Vashti said, glaring at Winry who returned the look.
“Forgotten? I’ve forgotten?” Dev roared, his face as red as his irises. “How the fu…?” He tore down his robe off his shoulders then undid the sash. He tossed it over the back of the chair and the robe followed. “Look at me! You’ve never wanted to see it but look at me and tell me how I’m going to forget?”
None of the young Ishbalans would look at him. Al shuffled nervously then glanced over at Hughes. The older man picked up the robe and draped it over Dev’s shoulder. “You made your point. It’s okay now.” Hughes patted Dev’s scarred shoulder. The young man canted his gaze back to him. “We know you haven’t forgotten.”
“I just get so tired of being treated like a traitor,” Dev said, his voice thick and rough as he jabbed a finger at his childhood friends. Eyal got up, giving Dev a dismissive wave then headed out the door into the courtyard as if Dev were nothing.
“Kinda makes you proud, you turning on one of your own people.” Edward’s smile only grew more deadly and Al nudged him subtly but hard.
“It’s just…how can you work with the Flame Alchemist after what he did to you?” Vashti asked, still not looking at Dev. Anger had left her voice, replaced with utter confusion.
“Because he is helping us,” Dev insisted, wishing they could understand. “Whether you like it or not. And…he isn’t the monster I thought he’d be.” That admission pulled out of Dev slowly like honey from a jar. “He’s already dragged me out of burning building once and when the office blew up, the first thing he asked wasn’t how badly he was hurt, but whether I was all right. He put me first, gets hard to hate him.”
“So you’ll side with him over us,” Vashti’s red eyes narrowed, ignoring what he had said but Dev could see a change in Rotem’s expression, as if his friend was considering what Dev was saying. Anah seemed annoyed at her sister.
“I’m not siding with anyone,” Dev snarled. “But at least Mustang doesn’t tell me I’m ugly or that I remind him of the war like you all have and I know I remind him of the war. How could I not?”
Vashti started to protest then went red, realizing there was little she could say, hearing her own words parroted back to her. She raced off, her body shaking, her distress obvious.
“Son,” Hala called from the doorway, her eyes filled with sadness. “Put on your clothes please.”
Dev looked at the floor then slowly drew on his robe.
“Dev.” He glanced over to look at Anah. She smiled and continued, “I’ve never thought you were ugly.”
He blushed and hurriedly finished dressing, glancing at the Elrics, Hughes and Winry. “I’m really sorry about this. You shouldn’t have to see us being so ugly. I’ve already pointed out that Rotem and his mom escaped the fighting when Mustang let them go and you know what, Winry, the bullet wound in Rotem’s shoulder was fixed up by your parents. Mom just told me that.”
A surprised smile warmed Winry's face. She glanced at Rotem who was red faced. “That’s...that’s good to know.”
“Is it?” Dev asked tentatively. “I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about knowing that.” He pointed at Rotem. “Instead of yelling at me for dating her, you should have thanked her. Her parents died for helping us.” He waved a hand at Winry and Rotem looked away. “Mom never told me before, Winry, but they saved me, too. They were the doctors who kept me alive when I should have died.”
Winry’s smile faltered a bit. “They did?” She looked between him and his mother, a fine tremor making her fingers dance. “I…” She smiled again but her eyes were wet. Ed touched her arm and she sucked in a deep breath. “I’ve always wondered why they died, what good could have possible come from it and I guess I know now.”
Dev subtly brushed Ed’s hand away as he hugged Winry. “If I had known earlier, I would have told you,” he said as Rotem muttered, “Sorry about your parents.” Dev let her go, shooting Ed a look, earning a hostile one in return. “You ought to know some of what they died for.”
“My son didn’t mention your last name until I came to Central,” Hala said, her eyes on Winry. “I knew your parents. I helped them work on many cases. They were very good people. They stayed with me the first night, all night, after they operated on Dev.” She smiled softly. “Your father told me they tried to keep the stump of Dev’s arm as clean as they could so he could get automail one day.”
“They probably didn’t think it would take so long or that they wouldn’t be there to take me to see Doctor Pinako themselves,” Dev added quietly, smiling at Winry.
Winry’s smile trembled as she swallowed hard several times. Al subtly passed her a handkerchief as Ed rested his hand on the back of her head, his fingers gently massaging her scalp. Finally, she found her voice, “Mrs. Jasso, do you think some day you could tell me a little about my parents? I want to know what they did in the war.”
The older woman nodded. “I’d like that.”
Roy sidled past Hala, a file folder in his hands. She moved into Aris’ office and shut the door. “We can go,” he said and the overall relief was palpable.
“Miss Rockbell,” Rotem called out as they were heading for the door. “I’m sorry for being a jerk.” His eyes flicked to Roy. “But I’m still not apologizing to you.”
“I don’t expect that you would. You have good reason to hate me but not them.” Roy waved a hand at the Elrics, Hughes and Winry. He cast a sad glance at the young man then disappeared out the door with his companions.
Dev ran a hand through his thick hair, taking a deep breath, hating that he was glad his new friends were gone. “Hey, Rotem.”
“Yeah?”
Dev rested a hand on Rotem’s shoulder. “Thanks for that.”
“I still don’t like you dating her,” Rotem replied.
Dev looked down at his metal knuckles. “I’m not, not any more,” he said softly.
“Really?” Anah asked, coming over to him, a sympathetic look on her face. “Did she leave you?”
Dev shook his head. “Look around us, everyone is so hostile. I had to leave her.” Dev studied Anah, wondering why she was being so nice. Usually she was doing the big sister thing, not wanting to associate with her younger sister’s friends. “I need to get to work. I don’t really want to talk about it. It was hard enough to find someone who didn’t think this body was grotesque and I had to let her go.”
“Go do your work.” Anah smiled, hip bumping him. “Just remember, I don’t think you’re ugly.”
Dev grinned, not sure what to make of it. Maybe people were finally seeing, thanks to Winry, that it was okay to like him. “Thanks.” He hurried into the office, uncomfortable and wondering how, after years of being invisible he was suddenly the center of attention.
X X X
“He is so dense,” Anah complained on the phone to Judith. “This back up plan of Attaway’s isn’t likely to work any better than his others.”
“I’m sure you could get a lot of information from this priest if you got close to him,” the woman replied over the staticky line.
“To what end? We’re supposed to poison Mustang tomorrow.” Anah’s glee at that rang in her voice. “We would have done it two days ago but someone took him out of the action with a rock. Attaway has that girl you sent preparing a surprise party at Mustang’s place. It should be easy enough to kill him then. So why get close to Dev at all?”
“Don’t forget we want the Elrics dead as well as Armstrong, anyone who had a hand in damaging Lior and Rose can’t be trusted to do that. She likes them. She might be clueless but there are hopefully bounds to her foolishness. You’ll only get to use her once,” Judith reasoned. “However, if you’re close to that boy, he’ll get you close to both Armstrong and the Elrics. How hard can it be to pretend you want him?”
“Have you seen him? He’s a fucking nightmare, like someone melted a candle. I don’t know how that blonde he was with didn’t just puke when she saw him naked.” Anah shuddered. “I’m not sure I’m a good enough actress.”
“I have every faith in you,” Judith said. “Call me after it’s over tomorrow.”
“I will,” Anah said, hanging up. She had no idea if she could suppress her gag reflex enough to do this but for her homeland’s honor, she knew she could do anything.
X X X
“We should go home,” Al said, eyeing Roy who had gotten out of handling any bags their clothing shopping trip had generated. The older alchemist’s face was pale and sweating. Al could see Roy was past his endurance. “We’ve bought enough clothing to last a year, and thank you, sir, for buying all of it.”
“I’m paying you back,” Ed added quickly as if afraid to owe Roy anything.
Roy waved them both off, heading into the Blind Pig. “I used your money from your accounts. Technically, you bought everything. And I need a drink.”
“Are you sure?” Hughes glanced around the dimly lit bar-restaurant.
“I need to sit,” Roy said and Hughes caught his arm, pulling him to a stop. Roy scowled. “I just get a little winded.”
“All the more reason to avoid a bar,” Hughes said and Roy sagged. Hughes regarded Mustang’s disappointment. “All right, one simple drink then we need to get these packages home. They’re heavy.”
Roy nodded and picked a table. The waitress came to get their order, irritating Ed by thinking he was too young to drink. “I’m sorry about today,” Roy said once she was gone.
“It’s not your fault.” Al wriggled on the hard, wooden chair. “You didn’t do anything.”
Edward leaned his chin into the palm of his hand, a glower on his face. “At least you didn’t get hit with a rock again.” He sounded almost disappointed.
“Thanks for nothing.” Roy eyed Ed hotly. “I don’t want to talk about depressing things,” he proclaimed. “But I don’t know what else to talk about.”
A devilish grin danced over Hughes’ face. “You could try to figure out who your sister is dating.”
“We could bet on it.” Ed slapped his hands down on the table, nearly taking out the ash tray.
“Brother!” Al chided, embarrassed by his brother’s predilection for being bad.
“It better not be Havoc,” Roy grumbled, obviously overprotective of his sister. “It’s Havoc. I’ll kill him.”
“That doesn’t seem to make you happy.” Hughes looked at Mustang in confusion, knowing Roy liked the man. “I bet Armstrong.”
Ed snorted, a scary grin on his face. “Are you nuts? No one would sleep with Armstrong.”
“I have to agree with Brother.” Al’s hazel eyes were wider than oceans.
“My sister can still walk. It’s not Armstrong,” Roy snorted. “Damn it, it’s probably Havoc. He seems smug lately.”
Alphonse leaned back to let the waitress set his drink in front of him. “You could ask.”
“That doesn’t sound like a bet,” Hughes observed.
“I’m not betting.” Al shot him a stern look.
“Spoilsport,” Ed said, earning himself a sour gaze. “Is Havoc your bet, Bastard?”
“I’ll kill Havoc.” Roy repeated Ed’s hand slap to the table.
“Do you think your sister would date a smoker?” Al shook his head. “She’s a healer, after all.”
“Hmmm, yeah and sometimes Havoc’s a tad…dense, which he freely admits.” Roy rubbed his chin then cushioned his chin on his hand. “Breda, I bet Breda. He’s smart and witty. Wonder if there’s an acupuncture point to cure cynophobia?”
“Huh?” Ed looked up as the waitress came with beers and soda.
“His dumb fear of dogs.” Roy sighed. “Now I’ll have to kill Breda.”
“Well, I’m still betting Armstrong,” Hughes said, taking a swig.
“You’re only saying that because he’s the only other man you know here besides Aris and Dev and Aris seems uninterested,” Ed snorted, taking a slug of his beer. “I’m pretty sure Dev really likes those massages, if you know what I mean, but still, no.”
“So you’re ruling Dev out?” Hughes grinned.
“Damn straight. Winry would have killed him.” Ed laughed, taking another big swallow. “Besides, he’s too young.”
“Maybe she likes them younger,” Al reasoned, stirring his straw around in the ice. “And go easy on that, Ed. You have no head for booze.”
“You’re just hoping she likes them younger,” Ed grumbled and Al went red to the tips of his ears.
“I see shopping makes Ed testy.” Hughes eyed the younger man critically. “And Al, I didn’t know people could blush that much.”
“The classy thing would be to not point it out.” Al cupped his hands over his ears.
“I’m still going with Havoc, smoker or not. He seems to do well with the ladies, to hear him talk.” Ed spread his hands wide.
“That’s what it is, talk.” Roy flapped his hand. “Havoc’s infamous for making a mess of it.”
“Still, some girls think he’s cute, right?” Ed shrugged.
“Does it have to be someone in Roy’s entourage?” Al asked. “And need I remind you and Mr. Hughes, we have no money with which to bet?”
“The bastard just bought us watches, I’ll hawk it,” Ed replied and Al sighed, consoling himself with soda. “I’ll be getting another silver one or don’t they do that any more?”
Roy pulled his out as an answer.
“That just leaves you, Alphonse, even if you don’t put in any money…” Hughes frowned then looked at Roy. “How much are we putting in?”
Roy rolled his shoulders. “Two hundred sen.”
“Okay, explain to me later how money works here so I know how much I’m betting.” Hughes turned back to Al. “Just give us a guess, Al.”
“Fine, Fuery. He’s nice,” Al said.
“You really are hoping she likes them young.” Ed snorted.
“Why don’t you keep your mind on your own woman troubles?” Al shot back with a glare and Ed’s face grew longer than a train.
“I don’t know what to do. I mean she just broke up with someone. I don’t want to seem…creepy,” Ed muttered, slumping over his beer.
“Edward, you’ve been talking about this girl the entire time I’ve known you.” Hughes patted the young man’s shoulder. “It’s not like you’ve been quietly watching from a distance biding your time. Winry has known you since you were born. I’m sure how you feel isn’t a complete mystery.”
“Trust me, it’s not.” Roy wagged his head. “We sat up many long nights drinking, me whining about screwing up with Riza, her pining away for those two. She knows how he feels. She used to feel the same way, probably still does.” Roy paused, seeing the pain etching into Ed’s face. Al was busy studying a big scratch on the table, pretending he didn’t hurt, too. “I’m not saying go up to her, throw her down and have your way with her, though it would probably do you some good.” Seeing Ed’s face getting dark and his eyes glinting, Roy hurried along, “What I’m saying is go talk to Winry, Edward. You’ll be sitting at this bar three years from now, kicking yourself in the ass, still waiting for that ‘right time’ to talk if you don’t do it now. The right time needs to be made. It doesn’t just happen.”
“I think I’ve already said too much.” Ed failed at disguising the misery in his voice.
“Edward, it is better to say too much than to never get to say what you need to say,” Roy replied and the young man’s head dipped lower.
“Hmm, you know, you’re actually a very smart man,” Hughes said, surprising Roy. A wicked smile flickered over his face. “And here Ed’s always telling me you’re an idiot,” he added, breaking the tension. Everyone laughed.
“Whatever Fullmetal said about me, that’s just his way of describing himself.” Roy smirked.
“Shut up, General Jackass.” Ed poked Roy’s shoulder.
“But seriously, Edward, just talk to the girl. Things have changed since we arrived here. We’re not saying that you’ll feel better.” Hughes waved between himself and Roy. “But you’ll know you didn’t let the opportunity pass.”
“Listen to them, Brother. I have to live with not getting to tell Ziata everything I wanted to and I’m trying to deal with it. Don’t let it happen to you,” Al said softly and Ed just nodded, patting his brother’s arm.
“Okay, this deserves another round,” Roy said, going to beckon to the waitress.
Hughes caught Roy’s wrist. “Uh-uh, you said one drink. You’ve had it. Now let’s get all our clothes home before they’re a wrinkled mess. Your maid service will not appreciate it if we make a mountain of work for her.”
“We just alchemize the wrinkles out,” Ed said and upon Al’s critical look, added, “And Teacher would beat us for it, if she could. Come on, I’m ready to go.”
Roy sulked but followed his friends back home.
X X X
“I still think you need to get a traditional dress, Riza,” Li-Ying said, peering around the bakery. “You’ll look stunning.”
Riza sighed. “I shouldn’t even be getting a cake. It’s going to be a very small affair, barely worth Roy putting on his dress blues. The only people there are standing here in this bakery and his men.”
“You deserve cake and flowers,” Gracia argued, her green eyes determined. “You’re not getting married with absolutely nothing.”
“Riza, did you want something bigger?” Winry shot Riza a curious glance, worry hiding under the blue of her eyes. “I mean, I know Roy has no belief in anything and well, you don’t either but didn’t you want a party at least?”
“This is one time you don’t have to be practical,” Rebecca reminded her.
“I know. I’m all right with a small wedding. It’s not going to change anything, not really. Roy and I could stay as we are now and it wouldn’t bother me but he’s so romantic about things like this.” Riza smiled softly, rubbing a finger over her ring with its folded metal of gold and platinum. The sapphire shone brightly. “I’m actually surprised he didn’t want a bigger wedding.” She turned her attention back to the pictures of cakes in the book the cake maker had given her. “That one is…scary.” She pointed to a tiered cake of varying sizes and shapes that looked like it was falling to pieces as flowers sprouted out between the tiers.
“But pretty,” Rebecca said.
“I don’t think it’s me.” Riza flipped a few more pages.
“Wow, look at this one,” Gracia pointed to a three tiered cake that looked like it has been covered by a blanket of icing flowers. “How intricate.”
“That is nice,” Riza conceded, paging forward again. “I’ll keep it in mind.”
“This one will bring you luck according to our legends.” Li-Ying pointed to one with chocolate icing covered with sugar hydrangea flowers.
“I think Roy would like that, Riza,” Winry said, her eyes bright. “It’s so different.”
“I agree.” Riza made arrangements with the baker to put her name down with that design number but held off on actually ordering it since the wedding date kept getting moved with every time Roy got injured. She let Gracia and Rebecca chivy her to the florist. They were adamant that small wedding or large, she at least needed flowers.
Riza watched as her friends dispersed in the floral shop then turned to Winry with a wry grin. “I’ll have flowers but I’ll be naked. I still can’t find the right dress.”
“Roy wouldn’t mind you being naked.” Winry laughed.
Riza snorted, “Roy loves me naked. Still, it would make sense to get a new dress that I could wear again. It’s a shame I can’t wear my dress blues. It would make like so much easier.”
“You do not want to get married looking like a soldier,” Winry scolded. “We’ll find you something but first, flowers.”
“Actually, let them look. I wanted to talk to you earlier but I was busy nursing Roy’s concussion.” Riza studied the younger blonde. “I just wanted to be sure you were all right after everything that happened.”
Winry sighed and drew a calla lily closer to her face. “I wish I knew, Riza. I am relieved I’m not pregnant and I’m sad that things didn’t work out with Dev but I know he’s right. This morning at the center proves it. The two of us being together wouldn’t work. They would never leave us alone. I don’t want my life to be that filled with strife.”
Riza put a hand on Winry’s arm. “No one blames you for that, least of all Dev. It was his choice, after all.”
“I know. It’s just that Ed complicates everything. I wanted him back, Riza. I don’t have to tell you how much but now that he is…” Winry wrapped her arms around herself. “It’s just too complicated because as angry as I am at him, I know I want him here. I just don’t know what to do about it. If I just go with him right now, how would that make Dev feel? I do care about him, too, and I know it would hurt his feelings if I moved on too fast.”
“I know what you mean. Dev might understand…David did and I cheated on him with Roy. Mera still works with Roy and I’m pretty sure she knows what we did and I have to deal with her being part of Aris’ team now just as Ed will have to deal with the fact that you still have Dev as a friend.” Riza studied a pink rose as she spoke. “I’m not proud of that but I knew I was in love with Roy. I have always been in love with the brat. David always knew there was something between.”
“Dev, too, and he knows exactly who it is.” Winry wet her lips. “He told me Ed still loves me. I know he’ll expect me to go with Ed but it’ll still hurt him. He’s not David. Dev is shy about his appearance, uncertain of himself. I don’t want to make it worse.”
“You can’t worry about that, Winry. Dev is an adult and, if he didn’t want you to be happy, he would never have told you he thought Ed loved you. It’s like tacit permission to follow your heart.” Riza put a hand on Winry’s arm.
Winry traced the delicate trumpet of the lily. “I hope you’re right. I know I can’t do anything without hurting them and I hate that.”
“I know. I’ve been there. You have to do what’s right for you,” Riza said then turned, hearing Rebecca calling her.
“Riza, you have to come see these! They’re perfect.”
Winry smiled faintly. “Let’s go get you some flowers, Riza. I have to sort through all of this on my own.”
“Not entirely alone. You can always come to me,” Riza said and Winry’s smile brightened as she followed Riza deeper into the fragrant store.
X X X
Ed didn’t know what he was doing, sneaking down the hall of Mustang’s huge house as silently as he could. He should be in his borrowed bed, sleeping, but his thoughts raced. Al had been tossing and turning on the couch, muttering fitfully before Ed had shooed him upstairs. Ed knew that he and Al shouldn’t be here in Mustang’s home but where could they go? Well, back with Pinako but that still was just temporary, not a place of his own. The bastard was working on resurrecting their lives here but at the moment they still had no money, no home and no friends. Homecoming wasn’t all he had expected.
What had he been expecting? Winry to just fall into his arms like the heroine of some romance novel? He would be lucky if she ever forgave him. Oh, she said she had but did she mean it? Maybe. She had forgiven the bastard for killing her parents so maybe she could forgive him for having no choice but to leave her. Didn’t being back count for something? They had spoken so many times now, in Resembol and on the train twice, at her shop but they still managed to say very little. Maybe because she really hadn’t wanted to leave Dev. Maybe she loved him more than Ed. Maybe not, but that still didn’t mean she had completely forgiven him. Ed figured he’d find out soon enough as he knocked on her door softly, thinking as he did it, that waking her up in the middle of the night might not be the wisest move on his part.
Winry opened the door, rubbing her eyes. Ed couldn’t help but notice the pale blue nightgown she wore, soft with a deep blue ribbon threaded through the lacy front of it. The intricate lace fanned out over the cotton; sexy yet kept away from skin. Ziata had told Al that lace itched once. Ed hadn’t ever been sure why that had been a topic of conversation until now. The lace was tantalizing as was the flounce of ruffle around her knee. Had that Ishbalan bought this for her? Had she bought it to wear for him? It was too seductive to have been purchased just to sleep in. “Ed?” Winry’s voice woke him from his thoughts.
“I’m sorry to wake you, Winry,” he said, meaning just that but had no idea how to follow that up. “I needed to talk,” was what he settled on and realized in that instant just how true that was.
Winry seemed almost like she wanted to ask, ‘now?’ but didn’t. She took a step back and he entered what should have been forbidden realms. Oh, certainly Ed had been in her bedroom more times than he could count but then she was his childhood friend and now she was a woman, in all senses of the word. She wasn’t his and Ed couldn’t help but feel like an intruder. His head sagged. “I shouldn’t have come,” he muttered, thinking it would have been worse if he had tried this back home. At least here in Roy’s home, the room seemed less ‘hers.’ In the back of his mind, Ed wondered how she got such a lovely room. In the soft light of her bed stand lamp he could see the muted floral inside of diamond patterns in deep blue and brown on the wallpaper.
Winry favored him with a lemony look as she sat on the rumpled bedding. “Then why did you wake me at,” she cast a glance at the clock, “at three in the morning?”
Ed leaned on the wall near the window. Winry not only had two arched floor to ceiling windows on one wall but glass doors out onto a balcony on the other. Very heavy rich chocolate-hued curtains kept any light from peeking through.
He lifted the curtain with a finger, peering out into the dark. “I couldn’t sleep. All I could think of was you, Winry. You’ve kept me up nights for years now. I thought things would be different when I got back. I guess…” he stopped, fighting back emotion. He couldn’t tell her that he loved her, not yet. He couldn’t say that he was both happy she didn’t wait for him and angry about the very same thing. He couldn’t say he hated that she had had a lover while he had been trapped in another world, socially ostracized by his body.
“You’re the most forgiving person I know. I thought you could forgive me and Al for having no choice but to leave you. I’ve always wanted to come back. I had no idea it was possible, not until Al started studying it like a man possessed. I know now, watching him like that, the hell I put you through, those years we were trying to get Al’s body back.” Ed turned to face her. “I’m so sorry.”
“I'm sure you did what you thought you had to, Ed.” Winry sounded more tired and exasperated than anything.
Ed shook his head. “It was more than that, Winry. I had to protect you. I know you might not believe that.”
Winry made a harsh sound in the back of her throat. “Oh, I’d believe you’d say it. I watched Roy and Riza tearing themselves apart for years because he thought he was protecting her. All he did was hurt her.”
Ed’s lips pressed together so hard they ached. A tremor ran through him. “And I hurt you. I know that. I’ve always known that, Winry. Even before I left, I knew. I didn’t want you to love me. I didn’t want to love you because I knew that I would have to leave if I was going to save Al. I didn’t want you to be like my mother waiting on some bastard who might never come back.” Ed grimaced, remembering that his own father had also left to protect his family from what he was, wondering if had he known would he have hated his father less. “And I know that was unfair, that neither of us could help what we felt. And I was protecting you, that last time. I had to go back and close that gate while Mustang closed the one here or some very awful people would have come through to this world, bringing a war that would have made the one in Ishbal pale. You saw some of the machines they had; they could’ve brought more and obliterated Amestris. I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t let that happen to you.”
“I guess it really doesn’t matter why you left,” Winry said, picking a stray feather off her pillow. She sounded so cold, so unconcerned about his reasons that Ed couldn’t believe her. It had to be a façade. If she didn’t care, the last few days would never have happened.
Ed crossed over to her. “It does matter. I don’t want you to think that I left because you didn’t matter. It’s important to me that you understand that, Winry.” Winry looked away and Ed’s heart sank. “Maybe I’ve done everything wrong, including just walking back into your house, into your life, like I never left. I didn’t mean to be insensitive but I’m not stupid, Winry. I know I can be, even if you and Al never say so.” Ed put a hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him. “I haven’t done anything right since I’ve been back. Mustang told me that that Ish…that Dev had already broken up with you before Al and I got back here but I wasn’t sure that it was true. Then there might have been a baby and that changed things even more and I’ve handled that terribly. I know that, too. I wanted to be supportive and instead I was angry and frightened that you were out of my reach forever, that I had gotten back too late. And even now, when I know Dev can’t be with you, I still don’t know where I stand. You weren’t the only reason I wanted to come home but you were the most important one to me.”
Winry slipped away from his hand. “You’re being honest, Ed. I’m not sure you’ve ever been entirely honest with me in your life. You don’t usually lie to me but you don’t tell me everything.” She studied his face for a moment. “I like this honesty.”
Ed flinched as if those words were a lash. She thought he lied to her, and well, he had but he hadn’t ever wanted her to figure that out. “I never wanted to lie to you. The things I didn’t tell you, I was trying to protect you from all the bad swirling around us. Maybe that was wrong, Winry. But I was young and there was still so much I didn’t know yet. I think I’ve learned more now.”
“And you had to tell me this, right now?” She wearily leaned back against the spindled headboard.
“I’m sorry.” Ed sat down next to her, not sure if it was the right thing to do. “Maybe I should have waited until morning but I was telling you the truth earlier. I just couldn’t sleep and I needed to talk to you. And now.” He thumped a hand on the mattress. “Now that I know that I could stay here, that I don’t have to wander any more once the military lets me go, I’m not wanted around. I waited too long to tell you that I love you.”
“Ed,” she let out his name in a breath of air. “I'm not the girl you used to know.”
“I know that and I’m not the same boy,” Ed said, exhaustion creeping into his voice. “I’ve watched even more people I loved die. I was someplace that felt cold and hopeless and the only thing keeping me going was the thought some day I could come home again. And now.” Ed shook his head. “I might be wearing the last automail you ever make for me. I’m not sure I could bear being just friends. Too much has changed inside of me for me to be happy that way. Maybe I am leaving you again since I don’t think anyone wants me to stay.” Ed’s voice broke just a bit then he regained control. “I don’t know where I’ll be going.”
“I don’t want you to go, Edward. I thought you understood that.” Winry put a hand over his. “I don’t know what you and Al are going to do now. Build a new house in Resembol. Find something in Central. Go somewhere you’ve never been before. I know what I want you to do but it’s not fair to tell you that.”
“Why not?” Ed’s shoulders slumped in frustration.
“Because it needs to be what you want. Because if I tell you to do something and it turns out to be the wrong thing, then I’m the one who has to pay for it,” Winry said, tapping her chest. “If I tell you to stay, that means that everything I’ve been doing has been for nothing, that maybe Dev was right all along and you’ve always been between us, that I never would have been happy with anyone else. That’s just too big for me to handle.”
Ed swallowed hard again. “But I want to stay. I can’t promise that I’ll be discharged from the military in three years, no matter what Armstrong says, and get to live where I want. President Armstrong may have something in mind for me for the things I’ve done that even her brother and Mustang can’t fix. I mean, look what she’s done to Mustang, making him ambassador like that. I might get stuck somewhere you might not want to go but would you be willing to follow?” he asked, wishing he hadn’t. Didn’t she have a clinic in Ishbal? She had gone there, of all places, for love. If she would do that, might she not be willing to go anywhere?
Winry slowly turned to Ed, her gaze appraising even in the dim light of the room. “What about you? I have clinics in Central and Ishbal. Are you willing to follow me to them?”
Ed thought for a moment then gave her what she wanted, honesty. “As much as I am able. I’m going to have my own work, I should hope. It might be that we can only be together in one of those places and have to accept that there are times we have to be apart.”
“It sounds like you put some thought into this,” Winry said and Ed couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or not. She sounded so clinical.
“I have, more than you know. And even if I end up alone here, Winry, I know things will still be better in Amestris than on Earth.” Ed seemed to wilt just a little. “Here, I know I won’t be in a wheelchair being a burden on Al. I will always have a mechanic and here, people know about automail. I won’t have all the stress of ‘what if they find out?’ and ‘what woman would ever want me looking like this?’ I know it’s not like me to pity myself and I’m not, not really, but it was hard there, thinking like that. The women there would never have been able to handle what I look like under my clothes.” Ed didn’t say he understood what Dev had been trying to say, standing half naked in the Ishbalan center but he did understand, all too well.
Winry blew at a wisp of hair hanging in her face. “Do you really want that, Ed?” There was a pause and she turned slightly to him, searching his face. “Do you really want...me?”
“I always have,” Ed admitted. “And if I have to go, there is just one thing I want to do before I leave.” Shaking his loose hair back, he leaned in, kissing her gently. He did it better this time, Ed was certain of it. He knew he had messed it up that night on Granny’s porch. He sat back, studying Winry’s face.
Winry caught the loose tendrils of his hair, hauling him in for a longer kiss, her mouth hungry and hot. Her tongue thrust into his mouth, taking him by surprise. How had Winry learned to do this? No, if he thought about how or, more importantly, who, he’d never be able to do this. “Winry, I…”
“Hush, now, Ed,” she whispered, her mouth descending on his. Her hands slid up under his tank top, feeling hot as they pushed his night shirt up. Her teeth nipped his chin then she yanked his shirt off. “Show me, Ed. Make me believe that you don’t ever want to leave me.”
Ed felt his face blaze. He didn’t know how to do much. She would know and given his age, she would laugh at him. “Winry, I…” From the look in her eyes, talking was the wrong thing to do so Ed kissed her again, putting his arms around her. He expected her to feel soft but she really didn’t, barring her chest as it flattened against him. Her back and shoulders were strongly muscled.
He wished she’d do something more, give him a clue. He didn’t want to admit he was a virgin who never even really listened to sex talk. He might not like that Winry was experienced but it might be good. Winry did tease his mouth with her tongue, crawling into his lap. That had an immediate effect, one that made his face go even redder. That couldn’t have been what she meant by making her believe he didn’t want to leave.
“Don't you want to touch me, Ed?” she whispered against his mouth.
At least he knew, ‘I am touching you’ was not the right response. “Yes,” he settled on, trying to keep his hips still but his growing erection was making that difficult. Winry had to notice. “I…Winry, I’ve never…” Ed swallowed the words. It was just so embarrassing. Now he regretted never listening to Mustang and Havoc way back when or to his brother and Hughes on Earth. At least then he might have a clue. “No one over there wanted me looking like this…I’ve never done this.”
He thought Winry was going to say something. If she said something pitying or laughed, Ed thought he might die. Instead, she caught the end of her night gown and pulled it off over her head. The only naked women he had ever seen was Granny once as a child when he walked in where he wasn’t supposed to be and Gracia, well, parts of her and those parts had been giving birth. He hadn’t realized just how beautiful naked could look.
Winry leaned closer to him, her well-formed breasts moving against his mouth almost like an invitation so he took it. Ed pressed his lips to one, feeling her nipple harden against them. Acting on impulse, ignoring the throbbing down below, Ed flicked his tongue over that hard pearl of flesh. Getting braver, he sucked on it, listening to her moan as she ground down on him. Ed groaned around her flesh. There was almost nothing between his flesh and hers, literally nothing between his hard-on jutting through his boxers and the warm, slightly damp skin of her thighs.
“Winry…are you sure?” He had to know. This wasn’t quite what he had in mind when he decided he had to prove to her that he wanted to be with her. He never dared hope for this much. Ed also didn’t think he could stop now.
Smiling, she slipped off of him and he tried not to whimper at the loss of that wet heat against him. Winry pushed him back on the bed firmly then straddled him, her tongue making a trail down over the strappy muscle of his neck and down his breast bone. Her tongue flickered over the juncture of his flesh to his automail shoulder as her hips rocked against his belly. The feather touch of her damp curls made his skin quiver.
She took his hand and put it on her back, a clear invitation to explore. Ed let his flesh hand slowly moved over her skin, loving how soft and smooth it was. His breath came in a rush as her strong hand closed over his cock, pumping it slowly. No one had ever touched him like that other than himself. It felt different, strange yet amazing, the differences in pressure and speed that she used. His hips jerked as she picked up speed.
Ed slid his hand over her hip, hesitating just a moment as he contemplated what he was about to do. He had dreamed about it hundreds of times, mostly when that same hand had been jerking hard on his own flesh. She was so wet. He hadn’t been expecting that. Ed didn’t know what he was expecting actually. He knew he was being a fumbling idiot but he was too embarrassed to explain his complete and total lack of knowledge. Ed was half shocked as a slicked finger accidentally found its way inside her. Winry moaned a little, her hand coming down to cup his hand. Without saying anything, her fingers showed his thumb a little nub of flesh and how to circle it before letting him go. It was his turn to moan as her hand gently massaged his testicles, leaving them feeling heavy and the urge to thrust into her hand growing.
Ed concentrated on Winry. He wanted her to enjoy him. He didn’t want to be a giant regret after all was said and done. This wasn’t even what he thought would happen tonight. He half thought it was a dream but in a dream he wouldn’t be so nervous. Ed’s finger circled faster as he heard Winry’s breathing getting ragged. A beautiful rose hue colored her skin. He maneuvered so he could lip her nipple again. Winry bucked against his hand, a sharp cry sounding too loud for this time of night. Pulling back his drenched fingers, Ed considered the way her head arched back, her eyes closed. It sounded like pain but it looked like pleasure so he touched her like that again, rewarded by how her whole body bowed and she smothered another cry.
Her body lifted off the mattress and folded around him like butterfly wings coming to rest. Winry’s breath was hot against his skin as her lips caught his earlobe, sucking. “Thanks,” she whispered. Her long hair reinforced the butterfly motif as she seemed to dive down to plant a kiss on the tip of his cock. Ed didn’t even know anyone would do what she did as she took him into her mouth, sucking and licking. His body quivered at the sensations racing through him, a low animal sound rumbling in his throat. Ed doubled over her, unable to move his hips since her strong hands had him pinned.
“Winry…gotta,” he rasped out.
Winry let him pop free, her thumb pressing under his head. He panted at the loss of sensation. “Not so fast.” She left him, twisting on the bed to yank open the night stand. She tossed him a little package. Ed knew a sheepskin when he saw one but why wasn’t it as easy to get on as he imagined it would be? It wasn’t helping that he knew this condom was really meant for another man. Her hand cupped over his, helping him then she pushed him back on the mattress. Her lips ghosted over his, tasting oddly salty and musky. Was that how he tasted to her?
Winry straddled him, smiling so warmly she seemed to glow in the darkness. Ed tracked her hand as it passed over her breasts, tweaking gently at her own nipples before she reached down and grasped the base of his cock. She guided it up into her as she settled on him. Ed couldn’t hold in the not-so-soft moan as her wet heat closed around him. This was a sensation he couldn’t have imagined, no hand could imitate. Her strong fingers closed over his waist as she pumped her hips up and down on him.
Ed reached up, his fingers playing with her breasts as they bounced. Usually by now he’d be reciting the periodic table to keep his control and at the moment he couldn’t even remember which element it started with. Ed’s back arched as he came, the moans percolating out of him before he could swallow them back. That was too fast, he thought when he could finally think again but Winry didn’t seem to mind, still grinding on him. She took his hand, guiding it back to her. He could capture her clitoris, slipping his fingers between their rocking hips. He teased it until she cried out, raining down over him.
Letting him slip free, Winry’s hand closed over his cock, stripping the condom off. Tossing it into the can under the night stand, Winry collapsed onto the bed next to him, resting her cheek against his sweating chest. Ed embraced her tightly, feeling something wet on his cheeks but he ignored it. “I love you, Winry,” he whispered. “Always have. I’ve just been too stupid and headstrong to let myself believe it.”
Winry’s hand smoothed over his skin. “And I’ve always known that, Edward.” She hiked herself up, wiping the moisture from his cheeks before kissing him. She looked like she might have something more to say but it didn’t come. Another kiss fluttered over his lips. “And I loved you, too.”
Ed shook. “Never thought…I thought I would never see you again. I thought no one would ever want to be this close to what’s left of me.” He flexed his metal arm. Ed knew most women wouldn’t want to chance the bruises and cuts the metal could leave. The next time they did this – and there would be a next time if he had anything to say about it - he would do better than he had this first time. Ed knew he would have to be careful not to hurt her. For the first time in a very long time, he felt oddly shy about his automail with the one woman who honestly didn’t care.
“You are so incredibly handsome, Edward.” Winry’s hands cupped his face. “You believe that now. Believe that you are loved.”
Ed took a deep breath in. Hydrogen, the table started with hydrogen. Helium, he would not cry. What the hell came next? Tears. “I do,” he whispered.
Winry hugged him so tight, his ribs creaked. She snuggled in against him and to his surprise, drifted off to sleep. Ed kissed the top of her head and tried to get the covers up over her without waking her. For the first time since he came back to Amestris, he actually felt like he was home.
chapter eighteen
Author -
cornerofmadnessDisclaimer - not mine, all characters belong to Hiromu Arakawa et al, Square Enix and funimition.
Pairing – Roy/Riza, Ed/Win (eventually) Winry/OC, mentions of Maes/Gracia and Al/OC
Rating – THIS CHAPTER IS NC-17
Time Line – anime based, spoilers all the way through the anime and the movie and does have strong manga elements such as Armstrong’s older sister and the land of Xing
Summary – As Roy and Riza prepare for their wedding, while dodging assassins, Ed and Al try to find their way back home.
Author’s Note #1– This was written after much prodding by
evil_little_dog as a sequel to the source of sorrow and is now her holiday gift even if she has beta’ed part of it. So thanks to her and lyricnonsense for the beta. You do not have to read the first story to understand this. You’ll quickly pick up that Riza has retired from the military to be Roy’s wife and bodyguard. Olivia Armstrong is now president and she’s assigned Roy as the ambassador to Ishbal; oh and that Roy was severely injured in the destruction of the Gate, requiring some of Winry’s automail.Author's Note #2 - This is a longer work and like real relationships, the ones listed in the pairings, take time to mend and come together. They have to work at it. Hope you enjoy the ride.
WARNING - THIS CHAPTER IS NC-17. If you do not wish to read the erotica click here for the alternative version It's up at FFN sans sex.
Author's Note #3 - The Ed/Winry scene was originally written for my Edward claim at
fma_fuh_q though it's been changed a bit from there (mostly because I thought this would come WAY earlier in the story than it did)Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter eight
Chapter nine
chapter ten
chapter eleven
chapter twelve
chapter thirteen
chapter fourteen
chapter fifteen
chapter sixteen
“Days of absence, sad and dreary, Clothed in sorrow's dark array, Days of absence, I am weary; She I love is far away.” – Shakespeare
Chapter Seventeen
Yes n hey, it’s good to be back home again
Oh the time that I can lay this tired old body down
Feel your fingers feather soft upon me
The kisses that I live for, the love that lights my way – John Denver, Back Home Again
“You should probably just go do what you have to do,” Dev said, hoping the Ishbalan Center would be deserted as the whole of Amestris followed him inside. He didn’t know why they couldn’t wait in the car while Mustang did his business. The only one who had was Riza, with the motor running as if expecting trouble, and she had only stayed behind at Mustang’s insistence. She had wanted Winry to stay with the car since Riza was supposed to be bodyguarding the ambassador. “I’ll be busy here most of the day.”
“I need to get some paperwork before I take them shopping, finally.” Roy gestured to the Elrics and Hughes. “Riza is going to drop us off then she and Winry are meeting Gracia and Rebecca in town and to do woman stuff.”
“Woman stuff?” Dev opened the door, scowling upon seeing his friends hanging around inside the cavernous gaming room that greeted all-comers to the center. Several sets of red eyes fixed on them as the room quieted. Pool sticks were set aside, chess games ignored.
“I keep my nose out of woman stuff,” Roy replied, touching his bandaged head, trying to pretend it still didn’t hurt. “Li-Ying is meeting them after lunch. She has a date. I knew she had a boyfriend. She couldn’t have been hanging around just for me.”
“No one would,” Ed replied, glancing around the room, as curious as his brother about some of the strictly Ishbalan games set out among the pool tables and chess and dart boards.
“Why are you bringing them here, Jasso?” one of the young men snapped, looking up from the chair he was sprawled in.
“The Ambassador’s here on business then they’re all leaving, Eyal,” Dev replied, giving Roy a look that said ‘hurry up.’ Roy’s answering gaze replied, ‘no problem.’
“What? They couldn’t wait in the car?” Eyal replied, echoing Dev’s own sentiment.
Dev curled his lip. He and Eyal never got along. Eyal was a loafer who did little more than stir up trouble. Sadly, Rotem and Vashti had been spending more time with him lately. He wasn’t surprised to see them, along with Vashti’s sister, Anah, playing a game of darts. “Ignore them. They’d be done with their business already if you’d just leave off for a minute.”
Edward smiled a dangerously toothy grin, his hands shoving deep into his pockets and elbows swung out to the side. “You know,” he said loudly, “my brother and I helped rescue a bunch of your people, back when we were younger than you.” He hooked a thumb at Alphonse, showing even more teeth. “My brother was saved by one of your heroes, a guy named Scar. Bet you've heard of him.”
“Yeah we know him. An Ishbalan who used alchemy. That’s not right,” Dev gritted out as several of the young Ishbalans filtered deeper into the other rooms the center had to offer as if wanting nothing to do with the brewing fight. “Just don’t talk.” He glared back at Winry. “Tell me I knew how when not to open my mouth up better than he does?”
Winry sighed heavily, holding up a warning finger to both men.
“I’ll be quick. Edward, now is not the time,” Roy said as a back door opened and Aris peeked out, hearing the raised voices.
The priest opened the door fully. “I need a moment to finish what you came for, Roy. Hala was looking over some of the preliminaries for the hospital.”
“Oh, good,” Roy said, heading for the office.
“How can you work with these people?” Eyal continued, his eyes on Edward now that the young man had drawn attention to himself. “Have you forgotten what they’ve done?”
“Obviously,” Vashti said, glaring at Winry who returned the look.
“Forgotten? I’ve forgotten?” Dev roared, his face as red as his irises. “How the fu…?” He tore down his robe off his shoulders then undid the sash. He tossed it over the back of the chair and the robe followed. “Look at me! You’ve never wanted to see it but look at me and tell me how I’m going to forget?”
None of the young Ishbalans would look at him. Al shuffled nervously then glanced over at Hughes. The older man picked up the robe and draped it over Dev’s shoulder. “You made your point. It’s okay now.” Hughes patted Dev’s scarred shoulder. The young man canted his gaze back to him. “We know you haven’t forgotten.”
“I just get so tired of being treated like a traitor,” Dev said, his voice thick and rough as he jabbed a finger at his childhood friends. Eyal got up, giving Dev a dismissive wave then headed out the door into the courtyard as if Dev were nothing.
“Kinda makes you proud, you turning on one of your own people.” Edward’s smile only grew more deadly and Al nudged him subtly but hard.
“It’s just…how can you work with the Flame Alchemist after what he did to you?” Vashti asked, still not looking at Dev. Anger had left her voice, replaced with utter confusion.
“Because he is helping us,” Dev insisted, wishing they could understand. “Whether you like it or not. And…he isn’t the monster I thought he’d be.” That admission pulled out of Dev slowly like honey from a jar. “He’s already dragged me out of burning building once and when the office blew up, the first thing he asked wasn’t how badly he was hurt, but whether I was all right. He put me first, gets hard to hate him.”
“So you’ll side with him over us,” Vashti’s red eyes narrowed, ignoring what he had said but Dev could see a change in Rotem’s expression, as if his friend was considering what Dev was saying. Anah seemed annoyed at her sister.
“I’m not siding with anyone,” Dev snarled. “But at least Mustang doesn’t tell me I’m ugly or that I remind him of the war like you all have and I know I remind him of the war. How could I not?”
Vashti started to protest then went red, realizing there was little she could say, hearing her own words parroted back to her. She raced off, her body shaking, her distress obvious.
“Son,” Hala called from the doorway, her eyes filled with sadness. “Put on your clothes please.”
Dev looked at the floor then slowly drew on his robe.
“Dev.” He glanced over to look at Anah. She smiled and continued, “I’ve never thought you were ugly.”
He blushed and hurriedly finished dressing, glancing at the Elrics, Hughes and Winry. “I’m really sorry about this. You shouldn’t have to see us being so ugly. I’ve already pointed out that Rotem and his mom escaped the fighting when Mustang let them go and you know what, Winry, the bullet wound in Rotem’s shoulder was fixed up by your parents. Mom just told me that.”
A surprised smile warmed Winry's face. She glanced at Rotem who was red faced. “That’s...that’s good to know.”
“Is it?” Dev asked tentatively. “I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about knowing that.” He pointed at Rotem. “Instead of yelling at me for dating her, you should have thanked her. Her parents died for helping us.” He waved a hand at Winry and Rotem looked away. “Mom never told me before, Winry, but they saved me, too. They were the doctors who kept me alive when I should have died.”
Winry’s smile faltered a bit. “They did?” She looked between him and his mother, a fine tremor making her fingers dance. “I…” She smiled again but her eyes were wet. Ed touched her arm and she sucked in a deep breath. “I’ve always wondered why they died, what good could have possible come from it and I guess I know now.”
Dev subtly brushed Ed’s hand away as he hugged Winry. “If I had known earlier, I would have told you,” he said as Rotem muttered, “Sorry about your parents.” Dev let her go, shooting Ed a look, earning a hostile one in return. “You ought to know some of what they died for.”
“My son didn’t mention your last name until I came to Central,” Hala said, her eyes on Winry. “I knew your parents. I helped them work on many cases. They were very good people. They stayed with me the first night, all night, after they operated on Dev.” She smiled softly. “Your father told me they tried to keep the stump of Dev’s arm as clean as they could so he could get automail one day.”
“They probably didn’t think it would take so long or that they wouldn’t be there to take me to see Doctor Pinako themselves,” Dev added quietly, smiling at Winry.
Winry’s smile trembled as she swallowed hard several times. Al subtly passed her a handkerchief as Ed rested his hand on the back of her head, his fingers gently massaging her scalp. Finally, she found her voice, “Mrs. Jasso, do you think some day you could tell me a little about my parents? I want to know what they did in the war.”
The older woman nodded. “I’d like that.”
Roy sidled past Hala, a file folder in his hands. She moved into Aris’ office and shut the door. “We can go,” he said and the overall relief was palpable.
“Miss Rockbell,” Rotem called out as they were heading for the door. “I’m sorry for being a jerk.” His eyes flicked to Roy. “But I’m still not apologizing to you.”
“I don’t expect that you would. You have good reason to hate me but not them.” Roy waved a hand at the Elrics, Hughes and Winry. He cast a sad glance at the young man then disappeared out the door with his companions.
Dev ran a hand through his thick hair, taking a deep breath, hating that he was glad his new friends were gone. “Hey, Rotem.”
“Yeah?”
Dev rested a hand on Rotem’s shoulder. “Thanks for that.”
“I still don’t like you dating her,” Rotem replied.
Dev looked down at his metal knuckles. “I’m not, not any more,” he said softly.
“Really?” Anah asked, coming over to him, a sympathetic look on her face. “Did she leave you?”
Dev shook his head. “Look around us, everyone is so hostile. I had to leave her.” Dev studied Anah, wondering why she was being so nice. Usually she was doing the big sister thing, not wanting to associate with her younger sister’s friends. “I need to get to work. I don’t really want to talk about it. It was hard enough to find someone who didn’t think this body was grotesque and I had to let her go.”
“Go do your work.” Anah smiled, hip bumping him. “Just remember, I don’t think you’re ugly.”
Dev grinned, not sure what to make of it. Maybe people were finally seeing, thanks to Winry, that it was okay to like him. “Thanks.” He hurried into the office, uncomfortable and wondering how, after years of being invisible he was suddenly the center of attention.
X X X
“He is so dense,” Anah complained on the phone to Judith. “This back up plan of Attaway’s isn’t likely to work any better than his others.”
“I’m sure you could get a lot of information from this priest if you got close to him,” the woman replied over the staticky line.
“To what end? We’re supposed to poison Mustang tomorrow.” Anah’s glee at that rang in her voice. “We would have done it two days ago but someone took him out of the action with a rock. Attaway has that girl you sent preparing a surprise party at Mustang’s place. It should be easy enough to kill him then. So why get close to Dev at all?”
“Don’t forget we want the Elrics dead as well as Armstrong, anyone who had a hand in damaging Lior and Rose can’t be trusted to do that. She likes them. She might be clueless but there are hopefully bounds to her foolishness. You’ll only get to use her once,” Judith reasoned. “However, if you’re close to that boy, he’ll get you close to both Armstrong and the Elrics. How hard can it be to pretend you want him?”
“Have you seen him? He’s a fucking nightmare, like someone melted a candle. I don’t know how that blonde he was with didn’t just puke when she saw him naked.” Anah shuddered. “I’m not sure I’m a good enough actress.”
“I have every faith in you,” Judith said. “Call me after it’s over tomorrow.”
“I will,” Anah said, hanging up. She had no idea if she could suppress her gag reflex enough to do this but for her homeland’s honor, she knew she could do anything.
X X X
“We should go home,” Al said, eyeing Roy who had gotten out of handling any bags their clothing shopping trip had generated. The older alchemist’s face was pale and sweating. Al could see Roy was past his endurance. “We’ve bought enough clothing to last a year, and thank you, sir, for buying all of it.”
“I’m paying you back,” Ed added quickly as if afraid to owe Roy anything.
Roy waved them both off, heading into the Blind Pig. “I used your money from your accounts. Technically, you bought everything. And I need a drink.”
“Are you sure?” Hughes glanced around the dimly lit bar-restaurant.
“I need to sit,” Roy said and Hughes caught his arm, pulling him to a stop. Roy scowled. “I just get a little winded.”
“All the more reason to avoid a bar,” Hughes said and Roy sagged. Hughes regarded Mustang’s disappointment. “All right, one simple drink then we need to get these packages home. They’re heavy.”
Roy nodded and picked a table. The waitress came to get their order, irritating Ed by thinking he was too young to drink. “I’m sorry about today,” Roy said once she was gone.
“It’s not your fault.” Al wriggled on the hard, wooden chair. “You didn’t do anything.”
Edward leaned his chin into the palm of his hand, a glower on his face. “At least you didn’t get hit with a rock again.” He sounded almost disappointed.
“Thanks for nothing.” Roy eyed Ed hotly. “I don’t want to talk about depressing things,” he proclaimed. “But I don’t know what else to talk about.”
A devilish grin danced over Hughes’ face. “You could try to figure out who your sister is dating.”
“We could bet on it.” Ed slapped his hands down on the table, nearly taking out the ash tray.
“Brother!” Al chided, embarrassed by his brother’s predilection for being bad.
“It better not be Havoc,” Roy grumbled, obviously overprotective of his sister. “It’s Havoc. I’ll kill him.”
“That doesn’t seem to make you happy.” Hughes looked at Mustang in confusion, knowing Roy liked the man. “I bet Armstrong.”
Ed snorted, a scary grin on his face. “Are you nuts? No one would sleep with Armstrong.”
“I have to agree with Brother.” Al’s hazel eyes were wider than oceans.
“My sister can still walk. It’s not Armstrong,” Roy snorted. “Damn it, it’s probably Havoc. He seems smug lately.”
Alphonse leaned back to let the waitress set his drink in front of him. “You could ask.”
“That doesn’t sound like a bet,” Hughes observed.
“I’m not betting.” Al shot him a stern look.
“Spoilsport,” Ed said, earning himself a sour gaze. “Is Havoc your bet, Bastard?”
“I’ll kill Havoc.” Roy repeated Ed’s hand slap to the table.
“Do you think your sister would date a smoker?” Al shook his head. “She’s a healer, after all.”
“Hmmm, yeah and sometimes Havoc’s a tad…dense, which he freely admits.” Roy rubbed his chin then cushioned his chin on his hand. “Breda, I bet Breda. He’s smart and witty. Wonder if there’s an acupuncture point to cure cynophobia?”
“Huh?” Ed looked up as the waitress came with beers and soda.
“His dumb fear of dogs.” Roy sighed. “Now I’ll have to kill Breda.”
“Well, I’m still betting Armstrong,” Hughes said, taking a swig.
“You’re only saying that because he’s the only other man you know here besides Aris and Dev and Aris seems uninterested,” Ed snorted, taking a slug of his beer. “I’m pretty sure Dev really likes those massages, if you know what I mean, but still, no.”
“So you’re ruling Dev out?” Hughes grinned.
“Damn straight. Winry would have killed him.” Ed laughed, taking another big swallow. “Besides, he’s too young.”
“Maybe she likes them younger,” Al reasoned, stirring his straw around in the ice. “And go easy on that, Ed. You have no head for booze.”
“You’re just hoping she likes them younger,” Ed grumbled and Al went red to the tips of his ears.
“I see shopping makes Ed testy.” Hughes eyed the younger man critically. “And Al, I didn’t know people could blush that much.”
“The classy thing would be to not point it out.” Al cupped his hands over his ears.
“I’m still going with Havoc, smoker or not. He seems to do well with the ladies, to hear him talk.” Ed spread his hands wide.
“That’s what it is, talk.” Roy flapped his hand. “Havoc’s infamous for making a mess of it.”
“Still, some girls think he’s cute, right?” Ed shrugged.
“Does it have to be someone in Roy’s entourage?” Al asked. “And need I remind you and Mr. Hughes, we have no money with which to bet?”
“The bastard just bought us watches, I’ll hawk it,” Ed replied and Al sighed, consoling himself with soda. “I’ll be getting another silver one or don’t they do that any more?”
Roy pulled his out as an answer.
“That just leaves you, Alphonse, even if you don’t put in any money…” Hughes frowned then looked at Roy. “How much are we putting in?”
Roy rolled his shoulders. “Two hundred sen.”
“Okay, explain to me later how money works here so I know how much I’m betting.” Hughes turned back to Al. “Just give us a guess, Al.”
“Fine, Fuery. He’s nice,” Al said.
“You really are hoping she likes them young.” Ed snorted.
“Why don’t you keep your mind on your own woman troubles?” Al shot back with a glare and Ed’s face grew longer than a train.
“I don’t know what to do. I mean she just broke up with someone. I don’t want to seem…creepy,” Ed muttered, slumping over his beer.
“Edward, you’ve been talking about this girl the entire time I’ve known you.” Hughes patted the young man’s shoulder. “It’s not like you’ve been quietly watching from a distance biding your time. Winry has known you since you were born. I’m sure how you feel isn’t a complete mystery.”
“Trust me, it’s not.” Roy wagged his head. “We sat up many long nights drinking, me whining about screwing up with Riza, her pining away for those two. She knows how he feels. She used to feel the same way, probably still does.” Roy paused, seeing the pain etching into Ed’s face. Al was busy studying a big scratch on the table, pretending he didn’t hurt, too. “I’m not saying go up to her, throw her down and have your way with her, though it would probably do you some good.” Seeing Ed’s face getting dark and his eyes glinting, Roy hurried along, “What I’m saying is go talk to Winry, Edward. You’ll be sitting at this bar three years from now, kicking yourself in the ass, still waiting for that ‘right time’ to talk if you don’t do it now. The right time needs to be made. It doesn’t just happen.”
“I think I’ve already said too much.” Ed failed at disguising the misery in his voice.
“Edward, it is better to say too much than to never get to say what you need to say,” Roy replied and the young man’s head dipped lower.
“Hmm, you know, you’re actually a very smart man,” Hughes said, surprising Roy. A wicked smile flickered over his face. “And here Ed’s always telling me you’re an idiot,” he added, breaking the tension. Everyone laughed.
“Whatever Fullmetal said about me, that’s just his way of describing himself.” Roy smirked.
“Shut up, General Jackass.” Ed poked Roy’s shoulder.
“But seriously, Edward, just talk to the girl. Things have changed since we arrived here. We’re not saying that you’ll feel better.” Hughes waved between himself and Roy. “But you’ll know you didn’t let the opportunity pass.”
“Listen to them, Brother. I have to live with not getting to tell Ziata everything I wanted to and I’m trying to deal with it. Don’t let it happen to you,” Al said softly and Ed just nodded, patting his brother’s arm.
“Okay, this deserves another round,” Roy said, going to beckon to the waitress.
Hughes caught Roy’s wrist. “Uh-uh, you said one drink. You’ve had it. Now let’s get all our clothes home before they’re a wrinkled mess. Your maid service will not appreciate it if we make a mountain of work for her.”
“We just alchemize the wrinkles out,” Ed said and upon Al’s critical look, added, “And Teacher would beat us for it, if she could. Come on, I’m ready to go.”
Roy sulked but followed his friends back home.
X X X
“I still think you need to get a traditional dress, Riza,” Li-Ying said, peering around the bakery. “You’ll look stunning.”
Riza sighed. “I shouldn’t even be getting a cake. It’s going to be a very small affair, barely worth Roy putting on his dress blues. The only people there are standing here in this bakery and his men.”
“You deserve cake and flowers,” Gracia argued, her green eyes determined. “You’re not getting married with absolutely nothing.”
“Riza, did you want something bigger?” Winry shot Riza a curious glance, worry hiding under the blue of her eyes. “I mean, I know Roy has no belief in anything and well, you don’t either but didn’t you want a party at least?”
“This is one time you don’t have to be practical,” Rebecca reminded her.
“I know. I’m all right with a small wedding. It’s not going to change anything, not really. Roy and I could stay as we are now and it wouldn’t bother me but he’s so romantic about things like this.” Riza smiled softly, rubbing a finger over her ring with its folded metal of gold and platinum. The sapphire shone brightly. “I’m actually surprised he didn’t want a bigger wedding.” She turned her attention back to the pictures of cakes in the book the cake maker had given her. “That one is…scary.” She pointed to a tiered cake of varying sizes and shapes that looked like it was falling to pieces as flowers sprouted out between the tiers.
“But pretty,” Rebecca said.
“I don’t think it’s me.” Riza flipped a few more pages.
“Wow, look at this one,” Gracia pointed to a three tiered cake that looked like it has been covered by a blanket of icing flowers. “How intricate.”
“That is nice,” Riza conceded, paging forward again. “I’ll keep it in mind.”
“This one will bring you luck according to our legends.” Li-Ying pointed to one with chocolate icing covered with sugar hydrangea flowers.
“I think Roy would like that, Riza,” Winry said, her eyes bright. “It’s so different.”
“I agree.” Riza made arrangements with the baker to put her name down with that design number but held off on actually ordering it since the wedding date kept getting moved with every time Roy got injured. She let Gracia and Rebecca chivy her to the florist. They were adamant that small wedding or large, she at least needed flowers.
Riza watched as her friends dispersed in the floral shop then turned to Winry with a wry grin. “I’ll have flowers but I’ll be naked. I still can’t find the right dress.”
“Roy wouldn’t mind you being naked.” Winry laughed.
Riza snorted, “Roy loves me naked. Still, it would make sense to get a new dress that I could wear again. It’s a shame I can’t wear my dress blues. It would make like so much easier.”
“You do not want to get married looking like a soldier,” Winry scolded. “We’ll find you something but first, flowers.”
“Actually, let them look. I wanted to talk to you earlier but I was busy nursing Roy’s concussion.” Riza studied the younger blonde. “I just wanted to be sure you were all right after everything that happened.”
Winry sighed and drew a calla lily closer to her face. “I wish I knew, Riza. I am relieved I’m not pregnant and I’m sad that things didn’t work out with Dev but I know he’s right. This morning at the center proves it. The two of us being together wouldn’t work. They would never leave us alone. I don’t want my life to be that filled with strife.”
Riza put a hand on Winry’s arm. “No one blames you for that, least of all Dev. It was his choice, after all.”
“I know. It’s just that Ed complicates everything. I wanted him back, Riza. I don’t have to tell you how much but now that he is…” Winry wrapped her arms around herself. “It’s just too complicated because as angry as I am at him, I know I want him here. I just don’t know what to do about it. If I just go with him right now, how would that make Dev feel? I do care about him, too, and I know it would hurt his feelings if I moved on too fast.”
“I know what you mean. Dev might understand…David did and I cheated on him with Roy. Mera still works with Roy and I’m pretty sure she knows what we did and I have to deal with her being part of Aris’ team now just as Ed will have to deal with the fact that you still have Dev as a friend.” Riza studied a pink rose as she spoke. “I’m not proud of that but I knew I was in love with Roy. I have always been in love with the brat. David always knew there was something between.”
“Dev, too, and he knows exactly who it is.” Winry wet her lips. “He told me Ed still loves me. I know he’ll expect me to go with Ed but it’ll still hurt him. He’s not David. Dev is shy about his appearance, uncertain of himself. I don’t want to make it worse.”
“You can’t worry about that, Winry. Dev is an adult and, if he didn’t want you to be happy, he would never have told you he thought Ed loved you. It’s like tacit permission to follow your heart.” Riza put a hand on Winry’s arm.
Winry traced the delicate trumpet of the lily. “I hope you’re right. I know I can’t do anything without hurting them and I hate that.”
“I know. I’ve been there. You have to do what’s right for you,” Riza said then turned, hearing Rebecca calling her.
“Riza, you have to come see these! They’re perfect.”
Winry smiled faintly. “Let’s go get you some flowers, Riza. I have to sort through all of this on my own.”
“Not entirely alone. You can always come to me,” Riza said and Winry’s smile brightened as she followed Riza deeper into the fragrant store.
X X X
Ed didn’t know what he was doing, sneaking down the hall of Mustang’s huge house as silently as he could. He should be in his borrowed bed, sleeping, but his thoughts raced. Al had been tossing and turning on the couch, muttering fitfully before Ed had shooed him upstairs. Ed knew that he and Al shouldn’t be here in Mustang’s home but where could they go? Well, back with Pinako but that still was just temporary, not a place of his own. The bastard was working on resurrecting their lives here but at the moment they still had no money, no home and no friends. Homecoming wasn’t all he had expected.
What had he been expecting? Winry to just fall into his arms like the heroine of some romance novel? He would be lucky if she ever forgave him. Oh, she said she had but did she mean it? Maybe. She had forgiven the bastard for killing her parents so maybe she could forgive him for having no choice but to leave her. Didn’t being back count for something? They had spoken so many times now, in Resembol and on the train twice, at her shop but they still managed to say very little. Maybe because she really hadn’t wanted to leave Dev. Maybe she loved him more than Ed. Maybe not, but that still didn’t mean she had completely forgiven him. Ed figured he’d find out soon enough as he knocked on her door softly, thinking as he did it, that waking her up in the middle of the night might not be the wisest move on his part.
Winry opened the door, rubbing her eyes. Ed couldn’t help but notice the pale blue nightgown she wore, soft with a deep blue ribbon threaded through the lacy front of it. The intricate lace fanned out over the cotton; sexy yet kept away from skin. Ziata had told Al that lace itched once. Ed hadn’t ever been sure why that had been a topic of conversation until now. The lace was tantalizing as was the flounce of ruffle around her knee. Had that Ishbalan bought this for her? Had she bought it to wear for him? It was too seductive to have been purchased just to sleep in. “Ed?” Winry’s voice woke him from his thoughts.
“I’m sorry to wake you, Winry,” he said, meaning just that but had no idea how to follow that up. “I needed to talk,” was what he settled on and realized in that instant just how true that was.
Winry seemed almost like she wanted to ask, ‘now?’ but didn’t. She took a step back and he entered what should have been forbidden realms. Oh, certainly Ed had been in her bedroom more times than he could count but then she was his childhood friend and now she was a woman, in all senses of the word. She wasn’t his and Ed couldn’t help but feel like an intruder. His head sagged. “I shouldn’t have come,” he muttered, thinking it would have been worse if he had tried this back home. At least here in Roy’s home, the room seemed less ‘hers.’ In the back of his mind, Ed wondered how she got such a lovely room. In the soft light of her bed stand lamp he could see the muted floral inside of diamond patterns in deep blue and brown on the wallpaper.
Winry favored him with a lemony look as she sat on the rumpled bedding. “Then why did you wake me at,” she cast a glance at the clock, “at three in the morning?”
Ed leaned on the wall near the window. Winry not only had two arched floor to ceiling windows on one wall but glass doors out onto a balcony on the other. Very heavy rich chocolate-hued curtains kept any light from peeking through.
He lifted the curtain with a finger, peering out into the dark. “I couldn’t sleep. All I could think of was you, Winry. You’ve kept me up nights for years now. I thought things would be different when I got back. I guess…” he stopped, fighting back emotion. He couldn’t tell her that he loved her, not yet. He couldn’t say that he was both happy she didn’t wait for him and angry about the very same thing. He couldn’t say he hated that she had had a lover while he had been trapped in another world, socially ostracized by his body.
“You’re the most forgiving person I know. I thought you could forgive me and Al for having no choice but to leave you. I’ve always wanted to come back. I had no idea it was possible, not until Al started studying it like a man possessed. I know now, watching him like that, the hell I put you through, those years we were trying to get Al’s body back.” Ed turned to face her. “I’m so sorry.”
“I'm sure you did what you thought you had to, Ed.” Winry sounded more tired and exasperated than anything.
Ed shook his head. “It was more than that, Winry. I had to protect you. I know you might not believe that.”
Winry made a harsh sound in the back of her throat. “Oh, I’d believe you’d say it. I watched Roy and Riza tearing themselves apart for years because he thought he was protecting her. All he did was hurt her.”
Ed’s lips pressed together so hard they ached. A tremor ran through him. “And I hurt you. I know that. I’ve always known that, Winry. Even before I left, I knew. I didn’t want you to love me. I didn’t want to love you because I knew that I would have to leave if I was going to save Al. I didn’t want you to be like my mother waiting on some bastard who might never come back.” Ed grimaced, remembering that his own father had also left to protect his family from what he was, wondering if had he known would he have hated his father less. “And I know that was unfair, that neither of us could help what we felt. And I was protecting you, that last time. I had to go back and close that gate while Mustang closed the one here or some very awful people would have come through to this world, bringing a war that would have made the one in Ishbal pale. You saw some of the machines they had; they could’ve brought more and obliterated Amestris. I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t let that happen to you.”
“I guess it really doesn’t matter why you left,” Winry said, picking a stray feather off her pillow. She sounded so cold, so unconcerned about his reasons that Ed couldn’t believe her. It had to be a façade. If she didn’t care, the last few days would never have happened.
Ed crossed over to her. “It does matter. I don’t want you to think that I left because you didn’t matter. It’s important to me that you understand that, Winry.” Winry looked away and Ed’s heart sank. “Maybe I’ve done everything wrong, including just walking back into your house, into your life, like I never left. I didn’t mean to be insensitive but I’m not stupid, Winry. I know I can be, even if you and Al never say so.” Ed put a hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him. “I haven’t done anything right since I’ve been back. Mustang told me that that Ish…that Dev had already broken up with you before Al and I got back here but I wasn’t sure that it was true. Then there might have been a baby and that changed things even more and I’ve handled that terribly. I know that, too. I wanted to be supportive and instead I was angry and frightened that you were out of my reach forever, that I had gotten back too late. And even now, when I know Dev can’t be with you, I still don’t know where I stand. You weren’t the only reason I wanted to come home but you were the most important one to me.”
Winry slipped away from his hand. “You’re being honest, Ed. I’m not sure you’ve ever been entirely honest with me in your life. You don’t usually lie to me but you don’t tell me everything.” She studied his face for a moment. “I like this honesty.”
Ed flinched as if those words were a lash. She thought he lied to her, and well, he had but he hadn’t ever wanted her to figure that out. “I never wanted to lie to you. The things I didn’t tell you, I was trying to protect you from all the bad swirling around us. Maybe that was wrong, Winry. But I was young and there was still so much I didn’t know yet. I think I’ve learned more now.”
“And you had to tell me this, right now?” She wearily leaned back against the spindled headboard.
“I’m sorry.” Ed sat down next to her, not sure if it was the right thing to do. “Maybe I should have waited until morning but I was telling you the truth earlier. I just couldn’t sleep and I needed to talk to you. And now.” He thumped a hand on the mattress. “Now that I know that I could stay here, that I don’t have to wander any more once the military lets me go, I’m not wanted around. I waited too long to tell you that I love you.”
“Ed,” she let out his name in a breath of air. “I'm not the girl you used to know.”
“I know that and I’m not the same boy,” Ed said, exhaustion creeping into his voice. “I’ve watched even more people I loved die. I was someplace that felt cold and hopeless and the only thing keeping me going was the thought some day I could come home again. And now.” Ed shook his head. “I might be wearing the last automail you ever make for me. I’m not sure I could bear being just friends. Too much has changed inside of me for me to be happy that way. Maybe I am leaving you again since I don’t think anyone wants me to stay.” Ed’s voice broke just a bit then he regained control. “I don’t know where I’ll be going.”
“I don’t want you to go, Edward. I thought you understood that.” Winry put a hand over his. “I don’t know what you and Al are going to do now. Build a new house in Resembol. Find something in Central. Go somewhere you’ve never been before. I know what I want you to do but it’s not fair to tell you that.”
“Why not?” Ed’s shoulders slumped in frustration.
“Because it needs to be what you want. Because if I tell you to do something and it turns out to be the wrong thing, then I’m the one who has to pay for it,” Winry said, tapping her chest. “If I tell you to stay, that means that everything I’ve been doing has been for nothing, that maybe Dev was right all along and you’ve always been between us, that I never would have been happy with anyone else. That’s just too big for me to handle.”
Ed swallowed hard again. “But I want to stay. I can’t promise that I’ll be discharged from the military in three years, no matter what Armstrong says, and get to live where I want. President Armstrong may have something in mind for me for the things I’ve done that even her brother and Mustang can’t fix. I mean, look what she’s done to Mustang, making him ambassador like that. I might get stuck somewhere you might not want to go but would you be willing to follow?” he asked, wishing he hadn’t. Didn’t she have a clinic in Ishbal? She had gone there, of all places, for love. If she would do that, might she not be willing to go anywhere?
Winry slowly turned to Ed, her gaze appraising even in the dim light of the room. “What about you? I have clinics in Central and Ishbal. Are you willing to follow me to them?”
Ed thought for a moment then gave her what she wanted, honesty. “As much as I am able. I’m going to have my own work, I should hope. It might be that we can only be together in one of those places and have to accept that there are times we have to be apart.”
“It sounds like you put some thought into this,” Winry said and Ed couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or not. She sounded so clinical.
“I have, more than you know. And even if I end up alone here, Winry, I know things will still be better in Amestris than on Earth.” Ed seemed to wilt just a little. “Here, I know I won’t be in a wheelchair being a burden on Al. I will always have a mechanic and here, people know about automail. I won’t have all the stress of ‘what if they find out?’ and ‘what woman would ever want me looking like this?’ I know it’s not like me to pity myself and I’m not, not really, but it was hard there, thinking like that. The women there would never have been able to handle what I look like under my clothes.” Ed didn’t say he understood what Dev had been trying to say, standing half naked in the Ishbalan center but he did understand, all too well.
Winry blew at a wisp of hair hanging in her face. “Do you really want that, Ed?” There was a pause and she turned slightly to him, searching his face. “Do you really want...me?”
“I always have,” Ed admitted. “And if I have to go, there is just one thing I want to do before I leave.” Shaking his loose hair back, he leaned in, kissing her gently. He did it better this time, Ed was certain of it. He knew he had messed it up that night on Granny’s porch. He sat back, studying Winry’s face.
Winry caught the loose tendrils of his hair, hauling him in for a longer kiss, her mouth hungry and hot. Her tongue thrust into his mouth, taking him by surprise. How had Winry learned to do this? No, if he thought about how or, more importantly, who, he’d never be able to do this. “Winry, I…”
“Hush, now, Ed,” she whispered, her mouth descending on his. Her hands slid up under his tank top, feeling hot as they pushed his night shirt up. Her teeth nipped his chin then she yanked his shirt off. “Show me, Ed. Make me believe that you don’t ever want to leave me.”
Ed felt his face blaze. He didn’t know how to do much. She would know and given his age, she would laugh at him. “Winry, I…” From the look in her eyes, talking was the wrong thing to do so Ed kissed her again, putting his arms around her. He expected her to feel soft but she really didn’t, barring her chest as it flattened against him. Her back and shoulders were strongly muscled.
He wished she’d do something more, give him a clue. He didn’t want to admit he was a virgin who never even really listened to sex talk. He might not like that Winry was experienced but it might be good. Winry did tease his mouth with her tongue, crawling into his lap. That had an immediate effect, one that made his face go even redder. That couldn’t have been what she meant by making her believe he didn’t want to leave.
“Don't you want to touch me, Ed?” she whispered against his mouth.
At least he knew, ‘I am touching you’ was not the right response. “Yes,” he settled on, trying to keep his hips still but his growing erection was making that difficult. Winry had to notice. “I…Winry, I’ve never…” Ed swallowed the words. It was just so embarrassing. Now he regretted never listening to Mustang and Havoc way back when or to his brother and Hughes on Earth. At least then he might have a clue. “No one over there wanted me looking like this…I’ve never done this.”
He thought Winry was going to say something. If she said something pitying or laughed, Ed thought he might die. Instead, she caught the end of her night gown and pulled it off over her head. The only naked women he had ever seen was Granny once as a child when he walked in where he wasn’t supposed to be and Gracia, well, parts of her and those parts had been giving birth. He hadn’t realized just how beautiful naked could look.
Winry leaned closer to him, her well-formed breasts moving against his mouth almost like an invitation so he took it. Ed pressed his lips to one, feeling her nipple harden against them. Acting on impulse, ignoring the throbbing down below, Ed flicked his tongue over that hard pearl of flesh. Getting braver, he sucked on it, listening to her moan as she ground down on him. Ed groaned around her flesh. There was almost nothing between his flesh and hers, literally nothing between his hard-on jutting through his boxers and the warm, slightly damp skin of her thighs.
“Winry…are you sure?” He had to know. This wasn’t quite what he had in mind when he decided he had to prove to her that he wanted to be with her. He never dared hope for this much. Ed also didn’t think he could stop now.
Smiling, she slipped off of him and he tried not to whimper at the loss of that wet heat against him. Winry pushed him back on the bed firmly then straddled him, her tongue making a trail down over the strappy muscle of his neck and down his breast bone. Her tongue flickered over the juncture of his flesh to his automail shoulder as her hips rocked against his belly. The feather touch of her damp curls made his skin quiver.
She took his hand and put it on her back, a clear invitation to explore. Ed let his flesh hand slowly moved over her skin, loving how soft and smooth it was. His breath came in a rush as her strong hand closed over his cock, pumping it slowly. No one had ever touched him like that other than himself. It felt different, strange yet amazing, the differences in pressure and speed that she used. His hips jerked as she picked up speed.
Ed slid his hand over her hip, hesitating just a moment as he contemplated what he was about to do. He had dreamed about it hundreds of times, mostly when that same hand had been jerking hard on his own flesh. She was so wet. He hadn’t been expecting that. Ed didn’t know what he was expecting actually. He knew he was being a fumbling idiot but he was too embarrassed to explain his complete and total lack of knowledge. Ed was half shocked as a slicked finger accidentally found its way inside her. Winry moaned a little, her hand coming down to cup his hand. Without saying anything, her fingers showed his thumb a little nub of flesh and how to circle it before letting him go. It was his turn to moan as her hand gently massaged his testicles, leaving them feeling heavy and the urge to thrust into her hand growing.
Ed concentrated on Winry. He wanted her to enjoy him. He didn’t want to be a giant regret after all was said and done. This wasn’t even what he thought would happen tonight. He half thought it was a dream but in a dream he wouldn’t be so nervous. Ed’s finger circled faster as he heard Winry’s breathing getting ragged. A beautiful rose hue colored her skin. He maneuvered so he could lip her nipple again. Winry bucked against his hand, a sharp cry sounding too loud for this time of night. Pulling back his drenched fingers, Ed considered the way her head arched back, her eyes closed. It sounded like pain but it looked like pleasure so he touched her like that again, rewarded by how her whole body bowed and she smothered another cry.
Her body lifted off the mattress and folded around him like butterfly wings coming to rest. Winry’s breath was hot against his skin as her lips caught his earlobe, sucking. “Thanks,” she whispered. Her long hair reinforced the butterfly motif as she seemed to dive down to plant a kiss on the tip of his cock. Ed didn’t even know anyone would do what she did as she took him into her mouth, sucking and licking. His body quivered at the sensations racing through him, a low animal sound rumbling in his throat. Ed doubled over her, unable to move his hips since her strong hands had him pinned.
“Winry…gotta,” he rasped out.
Winry let him pop free, her thumb pressing under his head. He panted at the loss of sensation. “Not so fast.” She left him, twisting on the bed to yank open the night stand. She tossed him a little package. Ed knew a sheepskin when he saw one but why wasn’t it as easy to get on as he imagined it would be? It wasn’t helping that he knew this condom was really meant for another man. Her hand cupped over his, helping him then she pushed him back on the mattress. Her lips ghosted over his, tasting oddly salty and musky. Was that how he tasted to her?
Winry straddled him, smiling so warmly she seemed to glow in the darkness. Ed tracked her hand as it passed over her breasts, tweaking gently at her own nipples before she reached down and grasped the base of his cock. She guided it up into her as she settled on him. Ed couldn’t hold in the not-so-soft moan as her wet heat closed around him. This was a sensation he couldn’t have imagined, no hand could imitate. Her strong fingers closed over his waist as she pumped her hips up and down on him.
Ed reached up, his fingers playing with her breasts as they bounced. Usually by now he’d be reciting the periodic table to keep his control and at the moment he couldn’t even remember which element it started with. Ed’s back arched as he came, the moans percolating out of him before he could swallow them back. That was too fast, he thought when he could finally think again but Winry didn’t seem to mind, still grinding on him. She took his hand, guiding it back to her. He could capture her clitoris, slipping his fingers between their rocking hips. He teased it until she cried out, raining down over him.
Letting him slip free, Winry’s hand closed over his cock, stripping the condom off. Tossing it into the can under the night stand, Winry collapsed onto the bed next to him, resting her cheek against his sweating chest. Ed embraced her tightly, feeling something wet on his cheeks but he ignored it. “I love you, Winry,” he whispered. “Always have. I’ve just been too stupid and headstrong to let myself believe it.”
Winry’s hand smoothed over his skin. “And I’ve always known that, Edward.” She hiked herself up, wiping the moisture from his cheeks before kissing him. She looked like she might have something more to say but it didn’t come. Another kiss fluttered over his lips. “And I loved you, too.”
Ed shook. “Never thought…I thought I would never see you again. I thought no one would ever want to be this close to what’s left of me.” He flexed his metal arm. Ed knew most women wouldn’t want to chance the bruises and cuts the metal could leave. The next time they did this – and there would be a next time if he had anything to say about it - he would do better than he had this first time. Ed knew he would have to be careful not to hurt her. For the first time in a very long time, he felt oddly shy about his automail with the one woman who honestly didn’t care.
“You are so incredibly handsome, Edward.” Winry’s hands cupped his face. “You believe that now. Believe that you are loved.”
Ed took a deep breath in. Hydrogen, the table started with hydrogen. Helium, he would not cry. What the hell came next? Tears. “I do,” he whispered.
Winry hugged him so tight, his ribs creaked. She snuggled in against him and to his surprise, drifted off to sleep. Ed kissed the top of her head and tried to get the covers up over her without waking her. For the first time since he came back to Amestris, he actually felt like he was home.
chapter eighteen
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Date: 2008-07-22 05:05 am (UTC)I suppose Roy won't freak out about Ed having sex in his house, since he's already used to Dev having sex there? Shame.
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Date: 2008-07-22 02:41 pm (UTC)and yeah Roy won't freak but he WILL tease Ed mercilessly but just not where Dev can hear him (He says he has class) or where Winry will hear (He wants to live)
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Date: 2008-07-23 04:45 am (UTC)Roy? You have class? This is news to me!
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Date: 2008-07-23 01:55 pm (UTC)Oh now Roy is just pouting and sulking
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Date: 2008-07-22 05:19 pm (UTC)Hydrogen, the table started with hydrogen. Helium, he would not cry. What the hell came next? Tears.
Always loved this part.
Is Ed going to scream and holler extra during sex just to get on Roy's nerves now?
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Date: 2008-07-23 02:40 am (UTC)Either Ed will be shy or yes he'll be out to irritate ROy
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Date: 2008-07-23 03:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-23 04:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-23 04:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-23 02:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-22 06:10 pm (UTC)“You’re just hoping she likes them younger,” Ed grumbled and Al went red to the tips of his ears. Bwahahaha!
All I can say is finally! SDA AND MT all in one? It's gonna be a good day.
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Date: 2008-07-23 02:29 am (UTC)I'm glad you enjoyed it
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Date: 2008-07-22 11:09 pm (UTC)Hydrogen, the table started with hydrogen. Helium, he would not cry. What the hell came next? Tears. Love it.
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Date: 2008-07-23 02:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-23 12:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-23 02:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-23 12:31 am (UTC)I eagerly await the teasing from Roy!!!!!
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Date: 2008-07-23 02:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-23 01:13 am (UTC)I totally <3 this chapter (like I love all of them)
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Date: 2008-07-23 01:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-30 03:47 am (UTC)And see? You can write Ed.
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Date: 2010-03-30 03:55 am (UTC)only occasionally can i write Ed. he fights me, the brat
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Date: 2010-03-30 11:52 am (UTC)Riza and Al fight me. Well, they don't fight, they just sit there with nothing to say.
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Date: 2010-03-30 01:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-30 04:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-30 05:33 pm (UTC)