Fic - Winters of Grief

[cornerofmadness]

Winters of Grief
Author - cornerofmadness
Disclaimer - so not mine. All rights belong to Ms Arakawa
Fandom - Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing – Maes/Roy/Riza
Rating – NC-17
Warnings: m/m/f threesome, tantric sex, hurt/comfort
Timeline/Spoilers – no real spoilers if you know who was in the war in the manga version, set soon after the end of the Ishbal war.
Prompt: Maes/Roy/Riza: Hurt/Comfort: I promise it will get better
Word count: 2296
Summary: On the days when he only sees the monster inside himself, it’s up to them to prove otherwise
A/N – This was written for springkink and to fit in with my Uncharted series which follows their relationship from war time to fitting in back home badly. There’s no need to read that series since all you need to know is included in the story but if you’re interested, you can find it here. thanks to enemytosleep for the beta

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses
your understanding.

Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its
heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.

And could you keep your heart in wonder at the
daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem
less wondrous than your joy;

And you would accept the seasons of your heart,
even as you have always accepted the seasons that
pass over your fields.

And you would watch with serenity through the
winters of your grief. – Kahlil Gibran

* * *


There were some nights Riza wished she hadn’t listened to Roy when he had said the public phone at the end of the hall of her apartment complex wasn’t adequate and let him install one in her apartment. Blearily, she mumbled a hello into the wrong end of the handset.

“Riza?” Hughes’ voice boomed out of the phone. “You need to get over to Roy’s.”

Flipping the phone around, she asked. “Something happened?”

“No, but it almost did.”

She heard the tinge of panic in the man’s voice and she could only imagine what foolish, self-destructive thing her lover had done. “I’ll be right there.”

There were times when being in love with Roy tired her out but Riza accepted that as her own fault. She had given him the secrets to flame alchemy; she had turned him into the monster he became in the desert. Ironic, that she could live with his kills and her own, far better than he could. She was supposed to be the sensitive one but it was Roy that had an inherent fragility to him that he fought to hide. Sometimes, he lost those battles and judging by Hughes’ tone Roy might have lost the war.

At this hour of the night, there were no cabs because respectable people were inside asleep. She didn’t dare call for a military transport; she would have to report on why. Riza raced through empty streets on foot, her holster unstrapped for quick-draw if need be. At least her back was finally healing, the bandages now gone, so running didn’t hurt. Roy’s place fitted his status, a small cottage but at least it was detached housing and not a smelly, old apartment like she had. Hughes must have been watching for her since the door opened before she even had a chance to knock.

He ushered her in, locking up behind her. Even though Riza knew to anticipate the worst, Roy had exceeded her expectations. He sprawled on the couch, seemingly too liquid to be contained by it. His right eye shone as the purple raccoon markings beneath it puffed out, and his lip looked swollen as well. Roy refused to look at her.

“What happened?” Riza noticed Hughes had a bruise on his jaw.

“I had a bad dream,” Roy muttered.

“And punched yourself and Hughes in the face?”

He managed to glare in spite of his injuries.

“Had a bad dream, went to the bar and started talking about stupid stuff,” Hughes filled in the blanks. Riza didn’t have to ask what ‘stupid stuff’ was. Hughes didn’t want to say ‘suicidal talk’ in front of Roy.

Naturally, being a man, Hughes’ solution was to slap some sense into his friend…literally. Riza understood the compulsion. Instead, she nudged Roy over on the couch, sitting down next to the crook of his hip. Taking his hand, she asked, “Why would you want to hurt yourself?”

“Don’t you?”

Squeezing his hand tightly, she replied in all honesty, “No. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I did unforgivable things in the name of war. I did them because there were people I wanted to protect.” Her eyes told the whole story, she was sure; she did it to protect him. “We have a plan, Roy. Maes and I can’t do it without you. Imagine the hole you would leave behind. Do you think we’d want to go on without you?”

He shuddered, turning his head to face the couch pillows. Roy refused to answer her.

She caressed his back with her free hand. “You promised me that we would work toward a world where things like Ishbal would never happen again. You’re the only one of us with enough power behind you to succeed. I followed your dream. Please don’t ask me to go where I can’t follow. I cannot follow you into the dust, not like this.”

That got a reaction from both men. She heard Hughes’ startled gasp. Roy lifted his head, horror in his eyes. “I don’t want you to.”

“You don’t walk alone, buddy. You have us with you,” Hughes said. “You just forget that time to time, especially when you’ve been drinking.”

“The last Ishbalan who spoke to me told me he would never forgive me,” Roy mumbled “And why should he? Why should any of them?”

“Maybe they won’t. But we are all judged on the things we do. We’ve made our mistakes and now is the time to correct them,” Riza leaned over, kissing his cheek. “Let them judge us by how we rise from the ashes. If you end it all now, all you’ll ever be is a monster.”

Silently, he wept then slowly folded up like wet origami. Riza gathered him up, pulling him against her. She held him so tight, she wasn’t sure that he could breathe. Hughes shoved onto the couch, his strong arms going around both her and Roy.

“Don’t scare us like this again,” Hughes said quietly. “You start feeling like this, you can turn to us.”

“But I already caused you so much trouble, Maes,” Roy said, his voice muffled against Riza’s chest.

“Not any more. Gracia has forgiven me,” Hughes assured him and Riza knew that was the truth. Both she and Hughes’ fiancé had been stunned and hurt to learn their men had been cheating on them with each other. Riza had forgiven Roy first only to find herself swept up by both men. She and Hughes shared Roy, shared each other. Gracia was aware of this and Riza knew that it was only a matter of time before the shyer woman joined them, too, just not quite yet. It was unconventional love but it was theirs; now all they had to do was convince Roy that he was, in fact, loved.

“Why do you care about me?” Roy whispered and Riza wasn’t sure who he was asking, probably them both.

Hughes shrugged. “Why is the sky blue? Who knows? It just is.”

Roy straightened up, rubbing his face. “The sky is blue because of light refraction off water droplets in the air.”

Hughes’ lips thinned and Riza stifled a giggle. “This is the problem with alchemists.” He ticked a finger against Roy’s forehead. “You’re all wise apples.”

That elicited a hint of a smile and Riza stole a kiss from those swollen, smiling lips. He winced slightly from his earned pain. “You’re not going to do anything like this again,” she said, not making it a question.

“You really do love me?” That was a question.

“Need convincing?”

He rested his head on her shoulder, reaching down to take Hughes’ hand. “I need to feel it.”

Any other time she would have told him that he was a little too drunk for this but a look from Hughes said that it was better to give in this time. Riza planted the next kiss on his cheek, then fluttered some over his forehead, careful to miss his swollen eye. Hughes stood up, gently tugging Roy to his feet. Riza followed them into Roy’s bedroom. She double checked that the blinds were completely drawn while Hughes enfolded Roy in his arms. Roy seemed to be growing accustomed to kissing with his sore lips.

She took down the bedding and found the things the men usually waited until the last minute to think of then flailed around trying to find; she got the condom tin out and located a nicely scented oil. Riza displayed the bottle to Hughes since he was the one facing her direction and he nodded. She hoped he understood her intent. One rainy day, when Roy had gotten an unexpected call from the office, she and Hughes had puttered around Roy’s library, finding a Xingese book that had been badly translated but was clear in its content: sacred healing sex.

“Take off your clothes and lie down, Roy,” she suggested.

He didn’t need any further urging. Riza saw a few more bruises he must have gotten brawling with Hughes because she saw the counterpoint to them on Hughes’ chest as he took off his shirt. No one played any games in getting naked, no slow teasing. That wasn’t what tonight was about. Riza knelt next to Roy and Hughes sat at the head of the bed. She tipped a little of the rose-scented oil into his hands and he rubbed it into Roy’s shoulders with surprising gentleness. Hughes’ fingers trailed over Roy’s neck and face as he went.

Riza’s finger tips started just above Roy’s thick thatch of pubic hair, slowly working her way up his belly. By the time her and Hughes’ fingers were meeting over Roy’s chest, she could feel the tension leaving his muscles. His hands never leaving Roy, Hughes leaned forward kissing her. Riza wished they had more time to explore other things that were in that book but that would have to wait for another night.

Still, there was one thing she wanted to try. Riza oiled her hands well, placing them over Roy’s still sleeping shaft then slowly stretched them out. Roy sighed softly as her slick hand cupped his testicles and the other hand gently pressed his awakening cock against his belly. Maes scooted just out of reach as Roy tried to squirm into a better position to connect with him. Instead, the man worked his fingers around Roy’s chest in small, circular patterns.

When Hughes saw Riza’s fingers flutter over the skin between Roy’s jewels and anus, he shifted his massaging fingers to the middle of Roy’s forehead. The smaller man’s eyes flew open as he gasped. Hughes grinned. “I think our boy is all relaxed and opened now, Riza.”

“I agree,” she said as Roy did manage to shift onto his side, grabbing Hughes by the waist.

As Roy took Hughes’ hardening shaft into his mouth, she worked her hands around Roy’s, moving them up and down as if she were gently wringing a rag. Roy bucked against her hand, moaning around Hughes’ cock. She eased up on her motions before she brought Roy off too quickly. Hughes beckoned to her so Riza let go of Roy, crawling over the mattress to Hughes. She stroked Roy’s shoulders as he slowly licked his way up and down Hughes’ penis.

Hughes circled his fingers through her wiry golden hair, tugging gently, sparking something like pleasant electricity running up her body. Still moving her hand over Roy’s shoulders, Riza spread her legs more, letting Hughes tenderly tug and rub his fingers over her labia. His finger rimmed over her opening, maddeningly not entering her. Warmth spread from her core, cascading down her legs to puddle in her toes.

“Riza,” Roy said, his voice thick like whiskey. “Need you.”

“I’m with you, Roy,” she promised, easing away from Hughes’ magical touch.

Roy sat up, pulling her to him. His kisses tasted of alcohol and salt as he bore her back against the mattress. Roy kissed his way down to her breast, lavishing them with attention. Hughes handed Roy a condom that Riza helped roll down over him. Roy then plunged inside her, his thrusts short and sharp, the desperation still hiding in his eyes. Riza clung to him, her hips crashing into his. Roy pushed deeply into her then looked over at Hughes. “Need you, too.”

Hughes must have read something in Roy’s eyes that Riza missed since his own eyes rounded into huge pools. “You sure?”

Roy nodded and with that Riza understood. The few times they had been together, she had been the one in the middle. Roy was suggesting something a little different this time. Hughes poured a little more oil into his hands, slicking up the thick length of his cock before tapping one lubricated finger against Roy’s hole. Roy’s hips started moving again, slower this time, more shallow with his thrusts into her as Hughes slid a finger inside of Roy.

“More,” Roy demanded before sealing his lips against Riza’s neck, sucking hard.

Hughes complied without a word and Roy groaned against Riza’s hot flesh. Hughes withdrew, putting a hand on Roy’s shoulder. “Let’s rearrange. Riza’s back is barely healed. We shouldn’t put the poor thing at the bottom of the pile.”

Both lovers smiled at him. Roy pulled out of her, letting Riza get up. Hughes fluffed up the pillows and braced himself against the headboard. When he was situated, Roy straddled him, facing away from his lover. Hughes carefully guided Roy back down onto him, letting Roy take him in at his own pace. Roy wasn’t happy until he had all of what Hughes had to offer inside him. Riza watched as Hughes kissed Roy’s shoulders, pulling and pushing his hips against Roy’s.

Resting back against Hughes, Roy held out his hands to Riza. She gauged how best to handle this then put her arms around Roy’s neck after she inserted his rigid cock inside her. None of them were capable of much movement in this position and they might not reach an orgasm but Riza knew that wasn’t what was important right now. What Roy needed more was to feel loved and desired and she could see in his dark eyes that he was getting what he wanted.

Their bodies all rocked together. Riza sucked on Roy’s earlobe then met Hughes’ lips in a quick kiss. The man tightened his grip on Roy as sweat made them all slippery and hard to hold onto. Roy’s mouth explored the parts of her he could easily reach, wedged as he was between his lovers.

In spite of his inner turmoil, she felt Roy shuddering against her, crushing her to him as he came. He stay inside her, his face buried in the crook of her neck as Hughes continued to make love to him. She felt Roy gently buffeted against her as Hughes thrust harder until he came with a soft moan.

Afterwards, they cuddled up in the bed, Hughes slipping the condom off Roy and tossing it into the bedside trashcan. They were sticky in places, slick in others. Roy’s eyes were shut but she knew he wasn’t sleeping as Hughes’ big hand slowly caressed them both.

Riza pressed a kiss against Roy’s cheek. “I promise it will get better.”

His soft sigh and deepening embrace told her Roy heard her. Maybe, if she and Hughes were truly lucky, Roy would even believe it.

Comments

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

I still like this whole bunches. *beams*

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

yay thanks