cornerofmadness

It has everyone here wrapped up in it. In theory today they met about who to cut. In theory we're hoping they'll tell us tomorrow just to get it the fuck over with. THey have literally been hanging this over our heads for the last six months. How long can it take?

I suspect none of us will sleep tonight. Not well at any rate. Even knowing that one way or the other, I'll have a job (I teach the nursing anatomy after all and no way in hell they'll be cut) I still feel sick (though some of that is dinner choice mistakes, not that I ate much. I'm the complete opposite of stress eater). Cross your fingers for Chemistry and Biology if you will.

And god, let them TELL US. We're registering/orientating new students on THURSDAY. How can I do that in good conscience if I don't know if the program I'm signing them up for will exist in the fall. It's not fair to them.

You'll notice I didn't do a writerly ways. I didn't have the spoons for it.

I was forced to open my netbook that I never threw out once I replaced it with the now-dead laptop. It almost didn't boot after nearly three years. Thank god I'm a hoarder after a fashion because on it were photos completely missing from the desk top and external drive. I couldn't believe they were missing until I went looking for them last week and realized Wales Day four was gone but on the netbook I found even MORE that weren't on the main computer and back up. What the actual fuck? The netbook is so old it can tell the external drive is there but can't talk to it. I'm going to try to hub it to the main computer and pull the files over. If that fails I guess it's a file at a time on a flash drive.

At least I can mostly type on the netbook. The internet was taken out by a virus within a year of me getting it and after several years of use the space bar is half dead as is the shift key which is why I replaced it with the lap top but never got around to tossing it. I'm glad I didn't.

I'm also looking at moving two big series for Buffy onto AO3 that I have (one cowritten with a friend). One is really a series of drabbles and ficlets with a few longer ones and I'm trying to determine should I just put the smaller works up by themselves or try to make them into bigger files.

Happy Alban Eilir/Ostara! Happy Spring and blessed Palm Sunday too



I wanted to do this today instead of writerly ways. I wanted to do this earlier but between making and exam and fighting the laptop I didn't get the chance (more on that later)

I love so much about spring, even the obnoxious sex songs of the peepers. I love the colors of the flowers pushing forth from their sleep. Already we have crocuses and daffodils. There are wildflowers I don't know the names of. Soon, the redbuds will blossom followed by the dogwood and lilac. It's beautiful to see.

I hate the pollen. I'm allergic and I will be miserable now from this point until summer. I love the cooler temps and I know by the end this will give way to hated heat of summer. I hate the damp cold rain. I'm fine with snow but rain makes me ache like I'm 90. I would never survive the Pacific northwest. And it rains here like crazy. I hate the flooding and I'm sure there'll be plenty of it.

But it is spring. It is alban eilir and I celebrate the turn of the wheel.

I forgot to mention it but when I was home My brother tugs off his shirt to show a glyph in sharpie on his chest. "I'm thinking of this tattoo. Bet you don't know what it is." Me - It's Enochian Angelic writing. His eyes get huge. "HOW did you know that?" Me - I know everything. Lucifer right? (knowing it's not but not sure which Angel it is.) J - Michael...i think. It's not Lucifer is it? Me - go ask Google.

As for my computer, either it's a VERY new PUP or my school's IT dept leaves everything to be desired (or both). I emailed them to explain it is NOT livejournal with a virus. And asked should I bring it back or take it to an outsider (which I'm betting they don't want me to since they know I'll say who looked at it first). It would NOT let me download malware bytes (and it wasn't on there like I thought they said it was). I did download it to my flash and install it. It kept getting killed by whatever it was. 40 minutes later it finally removed THIRTY-TWO trojans and other PUPs but it's still not working right and whatever it is keeps disabling my antivirus. Bangs head on ground. I'm starting to loathe technology

Dreams I have them. Sadly I can only remember fragments. Today I had one that had to do with my license plate but that's all I can remember. But I also had one when I was out shopping with evil_little_dog and my Mom and either they kept morphing into one another or were talking like a Greek Chorus. Anyhow they wanted me to buy this chair for my deck and were pretty pissed I wasn't going for it. They were tiny, like a child's chair and were yellow ceramic. I kept saying they're cute but they have to be uncomfortable. I wanted the big padded patio chairs and they kept insisting on the tiny ceramic ones. As if that's what my fat ass should be sitting on.

THe day before I dreamed again that I was with my friends (I think ELD was there). I was driving. Up ahead were people in the cross walk. I slowed down and once they were across I started up again but suddenly their little girl was right there in front of me. First I thought who the hell lets a three year old cross the street by herself. I could barely see her blond pigtails she was so small. THe second thought was I'll never stop in time.

And I didn't. I hit her. I could feel her going under the car. Everyone was screaming. I was screaming. I stopped and got out of the car shaking. The grandfather came at me. I could see him clearly, tan pants, tan windbreaker, wavy white hair and a blue shirt. He kept trying to slap me, screaming how could I do it? but he couldn't connect with me. I was babbling how sorry I was and my friends were calling 911. Then I saw the little girl, dead, minus an eye but now her hair was black and it wasn't blood around her head. It was more like oil and my car wasn't dented but then I woke up.

Some very different, very metal Ostara offerings