Trying to do better

[cornerofmadness]

As if it wasn't hard enough today when the meditation (guided) was about loving one's self made me think 'no, not really,' Mom tells me one of my relatives (doesn't matter which) told her that I complain too much on facebook. This is not the first time someone has said that about me in one medium or another. I DO try not to complain too much. I know how tiring that can be to hear/read. But this is like the third time I've heard this from the family and it hit hard. I even went back as best I could on the time line and only saw TWO complaints since June, one about the chili oil on the car and the other about the housing options here.

I hid it from Mom but hearing that really made me upset. I always feel that no matter what I do, I'm never quite good enough for everyone else in the family. Amazing isn't it, how family does that. They ought to see some of my friends' posts. They air dirty laundry like no one's business. Frankly I make a bigger effort not to complain on FB than hear because it's so open. My family is there, students could find me and hell potential EMPLOYERS look at it routinuely now. I never mention students there or anything.

Sigh. Certainly didn't help that 'do i love myself' thing. How ironic is it to whine about being accused of being a whiner? I will try to do better. I don't want the only thing people remember of me is 'she complained a lot.'


So let's find a happy for you all. Today was a do nothing day of grading, laundry and scrubbing out litter boxes and toilets but I DO have something to share with you.

Here help me pick a bad guy This is for my story that I want to submit to an anthology that will be sold to help homeless LGBT youth. If you'd like to try your own hand at it, click as well. Come on, look at the fun baddies I've narrowed the list down to.

declutter day 105 item tossed- Native American in a Canoe statue why kept -Part of my Native American collection why tossed -My collection is too vast. Time to separate the wheat from the chaff

Comments

[sholio]

What a terrible thing for her to say. *hugs* That's completely unfair.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

well she was just relating what another relative was saying so I'd be aware of it.

but unfair is how i'd describe family

[sillymagpie.livejournal.com]

Honey, I've come to believe disappointing your parents and relatives is normal. Besides, you have a lot of real problems. It's not like you're complaining because your cake frosting is the wrong flavor or something.

I looked at your list. I think it depends on what you want from your villain. Flying cannibal head...not thinking so much of a sophisticated villain. Owl person, maybe. Owls and crows are natural enemies, btw.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

I think you are right.

Thanks. Actually I'm moving these to another story. Flying cannibal heads, however, would be a good one for the story if only because it needs to be 5-10K which is pretty short. I'll still be thinking on this.

You know, I've seen that in action, well Raven and Owl.

[sillymagpie.livejournal.com]

A Yaqui friend told me about flying scalp creatures that took revenge because of the scalping of Native Americans by whites. But I don't see anything online, so that may have been a local story of his. It might have been a variation of the cannibal scalp.

Yeah, crows and ravens will mob owls and kill them if they can. Most birds they just chase out of their territory. Owls are a great danger to the crows and ravens since they are diurnal birds and owls hunt at night and kill their chicks.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

yes that could have been but it is an interesting legend, none the less

that would make a good reason to hate the owl. Crows/Ravens are smarter than the owl though, I've noticed that as well

[wildrider.livejournal.com]

Like Maggie said, you have a perfect right to complain once in a while, and the chili oil is a viable complaint. Anyway, phooey on 'em.

I commented in Jana's journal. I do like the Flying Head. It's got a certain difference to it. And if you give it a personality of its own, it could be very cool.

I have to do laundry, too. And scrub out the drinking fountain. Danged pets never clean up after themselves.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

that is true

thanks for the input

No they don't but boy do they mess up.

Hey one of them grew up. Oooo I like it

[rain-oubliette.livejournal.com]

I don't think you whine. Odd. But then, when your entire family is depressive, maybe I tend to not pick it out. However, it's YOUR Facebook page and if they don't like it, they can fuck off.

I can't do the whole "I love myself" thing either. I never realized I had positive qualities. Even today, I still can't take compliments. I can't handle criticism (hurtful, not helpful) but I'm much worse at dealing with positive feedback. I never know if a person is being honest or bullshitting me... so I go with the negative.

I personally would remember you as the crazy teacher/professor who was fun to hang out with. When we first met up, it was awesome. I felt like I had known you my whole life. :D

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

well that was my thought about it too.

I do better with that than you. I can take a compliment. After a lifetime of never doing anything quite right by family standards I do poorly with criticism.

thanks