Go Out with a Bang

[cornerofmadness]

I forgot to mention (a lot of things...) that this is the time of year i do my reproduction lectures and the whole lot of us turn 12 again. We do illuminate a few sexual misadventures the medical ones will see. I was explaining how penile fractures happen and a little voice from the back goes 'YOU CAN BREAK IT!!!' yes, you can. 'HOW!!!' by a) falling on it b) overenthusiastic sex c) masturbating too hard d) why is everyone laughing???

Flash up a picture of the female bits. Points - this is the clitoris. It's there for a reason. learn it.

Forgot to mention that almost all my holiday cards are out. I found a bunch in storage over the summer and after I addressed two of them I realized these were those odd shaped non-machinable extra postage cards so the rest are going inside of packages and otherwise hand delivered since I'm cheap. If you forgot to sign up there's about three other posts you can sign up for a card. Remember if you don't chances are i won't remember you want one.

Forgot to mention that the bar had a cat in it and he wanted to be with me. Hector is a foundling and the bar's owner did take the cat home about 5 miles away but the cat keeps coming back to the bar. THAT is where he wants to be and so he is.

Comments

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Ha ha ha, you are doing them a great service and they will thank you for it later.

I remember finding out you could fracture your penis via a very funny blog entry by a gay dude entitled "the day I broke my penis". TMI: poorly thought out but enthusiastic attempted entry, slipped, hit corner of bed. Ouch.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

exactly. There's only so hard you can pull on your todger before it breaks. that's life boys.

and yes those sexual misadventures, oh the things th ey wrought. (which is why Roy was so worried about Maes when he fell off the bed in that story for enemytosleep

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Ah yes. Poor boys and their delicate equipment. That was a funny story.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

oh good it's always hard to tell with humor stories.

and yes, we go over in detail why they have such delicate equipment hanging outside their bodies in pecarious places

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

I think I commented on the version on your journal? The hangover bit with the sisters poking them was particularly funny.

Isn't it something to do with keeping sperm cool, having balls on the outside? I vaguely remember but might likely have that wrong. I couldn't answer any of those biology questions, btw, so I didn't even try.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

yes yes you did say that

yep, sperm can't be made at body temp.

that's fine. my flist wanted to test itself. I might let them take pieces of the final too

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Hoorah, I got that right.

I can talk the talk but I can't walk the walk when it comes to medical knowledge. Thanks to Dr H's training I know lots of medical jargon and now do things like automatically say MI instead of heart attack (and know it's not the same thing as cardiac arrest or heart failure) - but there's zero knowledge backing it up. I'm in awe of the sheer amount of information doctors have to pack into their heads. You guys are like walking encyclopaedias! Not to mention the scary chemistry stuff.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

I got both a chemistry and biology degree as an undergrad but yes there is so much in my head I wonder how it doesn't explode. I used to really have close to an eidactic memory but I swear to god med school burnt my memory out.

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

The work bit of med school or the play? XD From what I remember of Helen's med school days both are pretty taxing. What I really remember is how crazy they all went around Finals - I thought my undergrad Finals were pressurising, but these were hardcore, the poor kids were all climbing the walls before they were done. And then the junior house officer (intern) year to look forward to ...

And to think all I have to do is nerd a lot about films and try and teach people how to string an argument together. XD

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

both. And yes most of us survived on bar food since during the early 90's there were tons of 10cent wing nights. You just had to go from bar to bar filling up on chicken wings.

i STILL can't eat them any more.

yes, i'm jealous of that. And your phd type gets to teach fun classes too.

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

My undergraduate vice was chips(as in fries)-and-cheese with garlic mayonnaise. There were lots of chip and kebab vans around my university town which specialised in this delicacy, sometimes with kebab meat, baked beans or mushrooms. Universally loved by students, particularly drunk ones. Sadly, this did not put me off. It just helped me put on the requisite couple of stone all students are obliged to gain.

Yes, but doctors and scientists will always win in a balloon debate over arts academics. XD My best bet for not being chucked out of the balloon is my ability to keep Dr H fed and watered.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

that is a very strange thing to stick on chips. I'm not much for them in the first place (crisps are another story). I'd try it though.

Yes you would probably have to be tossed out of the balloon eventually. You'll probably land on my fat body (figuring the sick ones go overboard first)

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Cheese + potatoes = yum. The cheese melts, you see. Apparently they have a snack food called poutine in Toronto along the same lines: curd cheese + chips + gravy. I have never had it but Toronto folk seem to love it and it terrifies foreigners.

At least I'll have company as I plummet to my death?

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

okay i've made poutine on my own or a variety of it. Around the states the two big chips are just covered in ketchup (that's what you get in the fast food market) or covered with gravy (restaurants), cheese fries (fairs and fast food) and occasionally malt vinegar (thank you Long John Silvers and Arthur Treachers). I'm not much on ketchup. If i have to eat fries I want malt vinegar, cheese or gravy.

there was one steak restaurant that served them with 5 cheeses, bacon and southwest ranch dressing. you could hear your arteries clogging at the table.

yes, there you go, two people on Charon's boat for the price of one

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Ohmigod at the five cheese bacon ranch dressing chips. What? I like lard, but that's kind of nuts. I bet that restaurant serves big portions too. That said, I can't really talk - pubs over here sometimes serve wedges with cheese and bacon, and it's a good food for soaking up beer. And clogging your arteries. XD

Hee at Charon's boat. Do we only need one penny if it's one ride? I'm sure enemy will join us, if they're kicking film lecturers out of the balloon, dog groomers can't be far behind. XD

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

and those 'fries' are technically steak wedge fries (i.e those big fat fries) Is that what you mean by wedges? And yes that appetizer could feed 4, i swear.

Charon's known for being a pain we might still need 2 pennies. Enemy might even be first. there should be a penalty for putting bows on dogs

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

It's an appetizer?? Yes, wedges are big fat chips. Yum. I'm hungry now and I have to wait for Helen to get back from her on-call before I can eat. Bah.

Don't tell her that! Those fancy dogs are paying for Christmas. The moments when I put a two hour film screening on for my students and pocket two hours' pay for it do make me wonder if I'd be first off the balloon. H's twin sister is an advertising copywriter, though, so maybe she'd be first of all?

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

yeah that's the appetizer. i just had horrible fast food. Occasionally i need a reminder why i never eat it...

haha yes indeed they are. I've never really understood the need for some of th ose cuts, like that mohawk (but she did it very well). then again I've always owned hunting dogs that require little grooming (barring that dumb as dirt Irish setter)

hahaha ad copywriter, sounds good. But i think i'd kick my lawyer friends o ut of the balloon first (hey maybe i'll get to live after all)

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Oh, poor lawyers, no love for them. And the t-rex always eats them first too. XD

I grew up with cats, no grooming required. Really want to get a cat now but have an upstairs flat, sadly.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

the t-rex was smart.

aw too bad. cats fit my lifestyle better. i'd like to get another. Roy has decided he prefers living outside

[0-mother-0.livejournal.com]

AHAHA! Wait till I tell Barry he can break his dick *intends to torment* Muahahaha!

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

hahaha enjoy

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

I remember these stories....

Cat inna bar! Of course he wants to come home with you.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

I'm sure you do.

I suspect Hector wanted beer

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Hector probably recognized a fellow lush soft touch.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

snort. hector wanted pets and head boinks

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

You just said he wanted beer. :D

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

that too. he's a cat. he wants it ALL

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Hector probably recognized a fellow lush soft touch.

[mulzrule.livejournal.com]

Bwahahaha!

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

it amused me

[sillymagpie.livejournal.com]

Funny. And good work with the clitoris reference. ::snicker::

Aw, little bar kitty!

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

thank you

he was an ugly ginger color but boy was he friendly. He went up to everyone for pets.