cornerofmadness | Entries tagged with loans suck

I got a letter in the mail yesterday. I need to triple check the case number extra because I still can't quite believe it but according to them as of December I only owed 690$ left on the med school loan I was sued for. For newcomers here, I was sued back in 2006 after my first life changing injury and I lost my medical practice because of the nerve damage to my hand. I was unable to pay my loans and they sent a police officer out to serve a warrant on me for this (I'm like debtors prisons are a thing again?!?)

Long story short, one of the loans (as there were multiples) was one they chose to sue me over. The court awarded them 500$/month which I've been paying since. I thought I still had 15K so either a) I misread it b) the discounted some of it.

This is big for me. That's 6 grand back in my pocket. I can look at a better house because I have that 500 a month to play with now. Oh I still owe on other loans but that's one monkey off my back. that also means they'll no longer steal my tax refund (I have seen a tax refund since 2006 either except last year but I thought that might have been a covid thing) So I'm looking at a total of nearly 8 grand more a year in the bank.

I feel like celebrating.

Today, however, is not that day. It rained all night, turned to ice at 1 AM then snowed slightly. It was slushy mess. We had a 2 hour delay. I didn't get affected. I purposely put all my classes at 10 in the Spring so I miss nothing if there is a 2 hour delay.

In redoing the synopsis I learned I had a massive error in the novel that I somehow missed in editing. OMFG. Diane (the serial killer whose ghost we get) killed her husband in the beginning chapters but in the later chapters he survives. now I'm not sure which I like better but I changed the front So when I send in the synopsis I have to resend the novel and say hey sorry I'm an idiot.

I was glad to get up today. I had a weird dream. I was home with my family. Out in the woods of our property there was an old abandoned house (like late 1800s farm house style, which doesn't exist on our property). We could see it from the kitchen window. I step outside. Dad, his brother and my brother were outside the house. Suddenly it bursts into flames and my dad is engulfed in them. He's just standing there as if shocked he's on fire.

I'm screaming into the house to call 911 (I guess mom was around). I want to run to help Dad but can't tell if anyone hears me about getting 911. As I'm frozen there both my uncle and brother catch fire too. I'm screaming at them to stop drop and roll (does anyone even teach that any more?) They keep looking at me like I'm insane and like they're too shocked to move.

I woke up then. My brain is fun.

Current Mood: nauseated
Current Music: Kids' Baking Challenge

I think I mentioned that I can't get into my student loans (one of them) it keeps saying there is nothing under my social security number and birthday. I finally got through to them. She said I reset it for a new password. Yeah that wasn't my problem. I could get that far, it's the second verification I'm hung up on.

Oh. Okay, try it now. Nope. She starts getting frustrated too. I don't know why it's doing this but you're not the only one (yeah I'm comforted by that) I have to expire your account and you have to make a new one. SIGH. Fine. We do it and it still gives me the same message There is no account under your SS and birthday.

WHINES. She then starts doing a verification (WHY NOT BEFORE. Why make me come up with a new user name and password) My birthday is wrong. She can't tell me why after 2 decades that this happened or how my birthday was fine last month and changed this month but we got it fixed. She also tells me that in all likelihood i can't get the public service loan (or the Biden one) forgiveness because it's not the right kind of loan but if I reconsolidate it into a direct loan I can. but no one can tell me the consequences of this other than it'll take longer to pay off. Is the interest rate different? Which loans do I need to do this to? Why can't I get an answer. We used to have loan counselors but I can't seem to find that any more.

And then at the end I have to reapply for the public service loan because it didn't go thru in May, June or Sept when I did it. OMG. So now FASA (the gov. website for student loans) says my birthday/SS number aren't right. OMG. WHYWHYWHYWHYWHY

It's too late to call before work. I get to work only to find out our new advising system is beyond broken. We at least got the faculty BACK to helping with it. I helped a student with it and send her to the new coach thing we're trying and he's booked out til Dec and I hit the roof. This is not the way to keep students (which is what this was supposed to help for but you can't hire 3 people for a student body of 2000) I'm now trying to get around this so I'm jamming it up the admin chain. ARGH.

Come home late because of other work issues I can't talk about but let's leave it as it was annoying AF. I straighten out the other loan issue. Everything is applied too but not consolidated. I don't know what to do there. I don't want to get in to that and NOT get my forgiveness which is likely and then get slammed with even higher payments.

Current Mood: bitchy
Current Music: Bobby Flay Triple Threat

so that might put a crimp in ye old vacation reporting.

Today was a day of many frustrations beginning with an energy level too low to accomplish much. I think I forgot to mention last post that when I did the new way of applying for an income based repayment program it applied it to ALL my loans and not just the loan I wanted. I had to call Navient up and say thanks for reducing my repayment to 65$ but I don't want that. The interest accruing will kill me. They did put it back to my usual 285$.

However the loan that I wanted it on hasn't even processed it yet. Go figure. American Education Success sucks donkey. I did get a helpful fellow who put me over to the place where you can get loan forgiveness for working for a non profit. My school IS a non-profit. Now AES has told me for years I don't qualify. Turns out it wasn't exactly a lie but it was very misleading. I might qualify IF I reconsolidate my loan as a direct one which will not change my interest rate (too bad because 10% is insane) and it might be possible to get a BETTER income repayment program. But I have to do this without missing a payment for TEN years. This means a) if I leave this college I have to go to another non-profit school b) I miss a payment and I'm fucked c) if they had done this when I first tried I'd be almost DONE by now. But at the end I won't have to repay the rest of the loan.

I'm both angry and relieved. It might be possible to get out from under this mess.

United Health care called me and their audit matched mine. I owe 280 on my deductible. I'll fill my pills and be done with it.

I can mention now the work thing. The dean of arts and science has been promoted to associate provost and one of my friends is now interim dean with no one advertising for the position etc. No one is going to be happy about this because she's an English prof who has on more than one occasion boasted about never having a college math course and that she hates science. Now the last guy was a music prof so we're used to this. I can only hope she listens to us because math/science is the most expensive and hard to handle because of the labs. It would be nice to have someone from our department in this. There wasn't going to be a job search but so many complaints are already in they've changed that. I'm really disappointed by this (also I do NOT want this job, just saying).

I talked to Honda about my dying a/c. It's 150$ just to test for it. Sigh.

Huge storm rolled in and lightning hit the internet tower. God knows when I'll get it back. If nothing else, it gave me time to edit my charity story. I'll drag it to the office to send it off to ELD.

Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: mozart

I have no pithy thoughts for this. I posted some old union pictures on FB but they were depressing me so I'll leave it as I sat at home alternatively typing and cleaning.

The writing is going pretty well with one exception. The cleaning took a detour into weirdness. I'm totally out of all the things anyone would need to clean. I got the stove and one counter cleaned before I found out the spray was out. So was the back up spray. Was I high from fumes last time I cleaned that I didn't notice this? Then I couldn't find the swifter. I had the wet jet, the broom, the swifter extender but not the original fricking swifter. WTF? Where it could possibly be is anyone's guess. At least, I suppose, this place is so wrecked that picking up things and putting them away counted as cleaning.

The exception to the writing is that I looked at a review from a review site for The Darkest Midnight in December and it hit on my deepest fear with all this stuff. That sex scenes feel tacked on and there is no real romance in my story. Okay I'm NOT really a romance writer. I'm just not. I'm glad we're starting to see the LGBT literature moving back out of that after it's current resurgence via the romance/erotica vein. But now all I'm thinking is there no emotional content in any of my stories. Does it only count if there is no established relationship like in several of mine? My simmer story will only be a few days long. No way are they in love, but lust and like yes. Will it feel real? Arrigo and Luc have a strange relationship. Does it even feel romantic? Will I always second guess myself.

Also in the writing lines, here is a good article. We're all good at making up excuses for not writing so have this how to be a full time writer with a day job. I used write or die and written, kitten today to get stuff done. In Queer SciFi's talk today, I think someone mentioned you can even temporarily block your computer from the internet to give you distraction free writing.

And just for fun, here's some FMA art I found while looking for something to post up as a sign for the students. Roy & Riza I really liked their pose in this.

Roy & his transmutation circle This one is just glorious with the detail

Roy in more of a 3-D style I thought this was a very interesting style.

And I got hosed by student loans again. They moved my payment date without telling me. Fuckwits.

Also just for fun. OMG this looks great! I'll have to netflix it after the fact.

Watch on YouTube

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Harbour Lights - A Silent Film

1. half my students were either late or didn't show. That was not funny. I can blame some of this on their jobs (as these are older students working in hospitalize)

2. I got my new loan repayment schedule and because of the insanely high percentage rate I owe nearly 600K. well fuck me.

3. Another of my loan companies split into two and now I have to change everything.

4. Didn't sleep almost at all last night

5. My college now has a new president. My coworkers who met her say she seemed nice, maybe a little too much so.

I was excited though to see the local what to do in OH mag I get from my electrical company had a foodie tour of the Hocking Hills until I saw it was all comfort food. I don't like most of that (and I'm not sure I consider it 'foodie.')

I do have good news

ozma914 is on Jana's blog with his latest novel The Notorious Ian Grant come check it out and chat with him here

And for something cool. Viking Women

Book lover dilemmas

who knew you could do this with crayons

declutter day 241 item tossed-Blank Slate #1 why kept-Wanted to read it why tossed -Purging my collection

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: Shourou -Kitaro

You probably have no life. But I loved the Legion of Superheroes. It was one of the few DC comics I really liked (that and the Justice League). Mom, on TBBT I knew part of that riddle. Mom- I don't know you.

My back is improving a lot. I realized when I was in the lab today that I must have hurt it lugging around specimen boxes. I forgot I did that.

So far my 'awesome autumn' has been Paw Paw festival, fibromyalgia flare, 2 week long migraine, back strain, rained out mothman and rained out potentially renn fest. sob.

And BOY did it rain today as I was going to do the laundry. I couldn't even see the white lines. wow.

Also I realized I haven't posted a fanfic to ANYWHERE since I think march or april. Wow. I'm so far behind, I don't even know how to catch up.

And I still need that swift kick in the ass on the novella

But the real mood sourer today was PHEAA called, the original guarantor of the student loans. I did talk to them for one reason to tell them how much AES sucked donkey dick. Even she was taken aback. She told me she knew it took 2 weeks to do the IBR paperwork. Ma'am FOUR MONTHS. I sent this in back July and it's not kicking in yet. I did ask her about the student forgiveness since she is the delinquency prevention unit. According to her there IS no forgiveness for public service/non profit (discontinued but I'm not sure I believe her), and that I should a) just quit my job and go teach K-12 if I want that forgiveness and b) keep calling in to see if there's a new deal to help me.. WTF? So now loans are like furniture and car sales, call now for the Columbus Day special it'll be gone in 48 hours. She honestly said 'some deals are very short lived.' Un-fucking-believeable

and I still have to get my lectures done since I need them next week. Head meet desk. Hard. Repeatedly. Maybe you'll get a concussion.

declutter day 142 item tossed -Half dozen photos why kept-Friends sent them why tossed -They were holiday photos of people pets…and I’m not even sure of WHOSE. It's like why do I have a picture of a cat I don't even know.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Demons - Imagine Dragons

I woke up out of nightmare ridden sleep with a migraine so bad I threw up. I went to work and warned them that they might need their reflexes today if I got sick again.

Worse I hurt my back. It's been bothering me for a while but today it feels like there's a heart beat in my spine and the muscles are so tight sitting hurts, lying down hurts, standing hurts, life blows. I will take a muscle relaxer tonight.

In talking to a coworker I learned her fibromyalgia has suddenly kicked on big time. So that's her, me and another friend in the area. WTF is going on here that this is happening?? It almost makes me think there's a trigger in the air.

I get home, just sit down to eat when the assholes from my loans call. So much for the government shut down. Guess it doesn't apply to federal student loans. They had me so upset I cried all through dinner what little I could eat. Naturally the stress shot my sugar over 300.

I did calm down with the help of grading and fire mountain gem's catalog. Then NCIS made me cry ( not particularly spoilery but... )

I still haven't seen agents of shield. Sigh.

I won another book from Goodreads. Good. This happened about 2 years ago. Won 2 books quickly never won again until this month and I won twice.

I am proud of Kroger's. They asked up to click to go pink via our Kroger's cards and we did. They are donating 3 million to breast cancer research so I feel better about shopping with them.

Speaking of breast cancer check out this
unique beads support breast cancer research It's from Fire Mt Gems. Some are very pricey but others are affordable.

declutter day 140 item tossed-Plastic “Native American Bone” necklace why kept -I think it was a gift why tossed -Never wore it. I have several of the real thing

Current Mood: sore
Current Music: Person of Interest

Not only did they fail to fix my internet on Monday, they were supposed to be back Tuesday. They did NOT show and they did NOT answer my calls so I started calling every other hour from 4 until 10 then started again this morning. I love this internet. I DO NOT want to have to change them back to Verizon but this is not acceptable.

And the neighbor I share a wall with almost made me call the cops yesterday as she came out verbally assaulting everyone. That's what sucks in living in such a small apt complex. They'll KNOW who called in the cops and then you have to wonder if they'll go out for revenge and this woman and her husband who is worse, leaves no doubt s/he would.

My fridge shelf broke and I had to fix it with duct tape

And I lost two family members to cancer over the weekend. Aunt S2's mom did pass AND my cousin's brother (cousin by marriage) I never knew his brother but he died of lung cancer over in Korea (his wife owns a Buddhist temple).

AND my student loans are still fucked. I feel like I'm coming out of my head.

And I caught these the other morning thinking my net would be back on at home.

Current Mood: pissed off

Actually I had a pretty good first day. The students laughed and almost seemed engaged. Going over the syllabus is never exciting. Only one student didn't show up AND my Math/Science people actually are trying to plan our first meeting both after class and on facebook so yay, enthusiasm. I even learned a new teaching tool that is FREE. Socrative. It's like clicker question but you can do more with it. It can be accessed via computers, tablets AND phones. Plots what I can do with this.

On the downside, my fellow biologists are already taking pot shots across each others bows and it looks like a good time to spend LESS time in my office or at least have my door shut because I see this being a huge strain on my friendship with L (which hinges together three other friendships and we've all been there, right? You try to be friendly with one person because your other two friends really like them. It's not that I don't like L. I do. She's my friend BUT she's also her own worst enemy and if she comes whining to me I'm going to have to tell her why I think X said Y about what was said and that I sort of agree. (in other words when you have a once a month meeting, and 2 out of the 7 of us can't be there in the afternoon because they have to teach at our sister school, then buck the fuck up and come in early. It's one damn day not every day).

Got home, found out my insulin was in (that was fast, thank you Dr. Stout) so I went to Jackson for that, came back found my mail and my email had an unpleasant surprise waiting for me. My student loan is STILL fucked up. I called them. They haven't processed my paperwork yet. There's a mystery 'transfer her to us' in the notes but the moron doesn't know why since it has nothing to do with my IBR paperwork and I called up my guarantor for the loan and told them what I thought of American Education System and was told well they're behind. How is this MY problem? I did what I needed to. Hire more help them if you're 2 months behind on paperwork. You're not getting 8 thousand dollars.

And my school messed up my salary. I emailed HR and our new guy, unlike the bitch he replaced, got right back to me, apologized and is fixing it. It was a 5 grand error so I'm relieved. This money thing is killing me. I'm not kidding and I'm not being a drama queen. I do not know how much more I can bear with these people. And they just emailed me again to get me to allow my loans direct access to my bank account. Oh fuck you, AES

declutter day 113 item tossed -A ruby glass dish why kept -Part of the family glass and ceramic collection why tossed - Mom snatched it (I might snatch it back)

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Aum namah Shivaya Mantra

about my writing since today was dull but then I looked at my bank account and realized I'm so broke I don't have enough money to pay the big loan (well I took it out of savings but now those are gone). Need to check over finances to find out why so broke. AND this is when they try to readjust my student loans to higher payments. I hate Jan/Feb for that alone. Now I'm too depressed to work on that writing post.

However I will ask you all this. They had an interesting thread on one of the author's lists about NOT using the erotica pen name (sounds like some publishers are pushing for this) for YA and picking another. Now I'm not sure that I want a THIRD pen name just to do LGBT YA. I can definitely see why you wouldn't want to use your erotica pen name given the age group. My question is does the stigma still exist when it comes to writing homosexual fiction? I should sure as hell hope not. It was horrible back in the day to know you couldn't really write that without people questioning you. I would like to think that I could use Eliana D. Evans to write a gay YA without say, Harper Voyager looking at my werewolf YA and say, 'we don't want to have someone with that branding in her background.' Anyone have any insight into this?

To make me less depressed, let me relate the crazy dreams from last night.
the first was I was going to the space station with my cats in tow. ELD was giving me shit for taking them. She kept saying it was animal abuse. Kanda wasn't very happy about going and I never did get a good look at my other cat. I can not remember why in the name of god I was going to space but it was for important research. My friend, the lady reverend was enabling me but she would only talk to me via a little computer that printed out messages on Hello Kitty stationary....

I woke up from that one and had another. This time I was working home health again. I had a companion (I think it was ELD but I 'm not sure). One patient who had an overgrown garden of backyard was busy refusing service and I'm like she's so familiar. Then she recognized me as being her doctor when we were both in OH (I think we were in WI now). Then the dream morphed. It was quite long but the upshot is me and my companion were picked up by a group to go on a tour but we ended up in Israel which was involved deeply in a war and I had just been shanghaied to be a MASH surgeon (everyone on the tour were medical personnel). All I could really think about was escaping with my companion. After a tense OR session in a bombed out building we were taken to a cook out in a city alley but it had religious overtones (though not really anything Judeo-Christian) I do remember a lot of white haired, bearded old men in bejeweled robes but the alarm woke me before I could figure out what was going on.

Declutter day 9 - what was tossed - Brown jeweled dress shirt why kept - Nice shirt why tossed -Hadn’t worn in a year, time to give it to someone who’ll appreciate it more